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rotorhead1871
who are you jivin' with that cosmic debris?...
09:47 AM on 02/08/2012
unencumbered love is a state of mind that if not developed early....does not develop...as life takes it toll...sex on the other hand is more disease ridden at advanced age.....based on exposure. it adds credence to the ole saying......life is a beeeeech, then you die!!...so party on as much as you can cus its NEVER coming back.....
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oldgraymare
Congress is the opposite of Progress
09:37 AM on 02/08/2012
62, married to a 65 who can't keep his hands off me....oh yeah!! Best "afternoon-ers" ever now.
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rbspickles
09:28 AM on 02/08/2012
All I know is that I'm over 50, widowed, ready for some but I cannot find a man who interests me sexually. My late husband is a very hard example to follow. It's been 6 years and still no one turns me on like he did. Drive's still there, just not the attraction....hmmmmpphhh.
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starrynights
got the red state blues
11:30 AM on 02/08/2012
I can relate, I'm 57 and my husband passed 8 years ago. I still haven't found anyone who excites me like he did. I want sex but I want it with a man who attracts me. Maybe I'm being too choosy?
12:23 PM on 02/08/2012
It's just numbers. There are very few men who are 10, or 9, or, in general, quite attractive. Those same men have always, your whole life, had an inordinate number of women chasing them. Good looking men have never chased women because they never needed to. Now, being older, those same men have an even larger fraction of eligible women wanting them.
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blinkthink
Take Down The Brick Wall in 2014
03:50 PM on 02/08/2012
I don't think it's bad to be choosy-not necessarily looking for an Adonis, but it's very nice when men put effort into their appearance. Nice clothes and many women say the smile is very important-whiter teeth are so much sexier, IMO.
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Steamboater
Forget hope. Agitate.
11:54 AM on 02/08/2012
"My late husband is a very hard example to follow..."


What a guy!!! :)
09:22 AM on 02/08/2012
This story is like others of its type. For many women, prescription hormones and lubricants are not enough to compensate for thinning of vaginal tissues that make intercourse too painful to endure. Successful intercourse is not all in the mind -- it takes a functioning hormonal system and healthy tissues. The usual advice is that there are other ways to experience pleasure -- well, maybe, maybe not. Sex does not last forever, and it does a disservice to many women, and their spouses, to set up unrealistic expectations. Too many women are "thrown away" by their spouses because of the changes that inevitably, sooner or later, come with menopause.
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11:02 AM on 02/08/2012
Now we're talking truth. I am unable to have intercourse without lots of lubricant. My husband is kind and understanding and thrilled to know it's not him, it's me. But it does require a mature partner who isn't repulsed being told, "Honey, we need more lube."

And I am NOT going to pretend it doesn't hurt so as not to hurt my partner's feelings anymore. Once lubricants fail me, I'm done. I can't take HRT, and resent the idea that I should take the risk just to be a better sex partner.
02:45 PM on 02/08/2012
Thank you not only to the original poster, but also to you, for educating me.
07:58 AM on 02/10/2012
Topical estrogen is not HRT, you should discuss it with your doctor. It remains localized.
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donaldinks
and so it goes...
11:32 AM on 02/08/2012
Fanned and Faved...

for writing more facts and truth in your one paragraph,

than in the entire article above.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
moonflowerjewelry
Buy American made, no excuses.
09:11 AM on 02/08/2012
I'm glad SOMEONE is getting some! TMI ;-)
09:11 AM on 02/08/2012
After 50, after menopause, after children, after divorce -- best sex of my life. Problem now is that I married one of those partners who I was having wonderful sex with, and three years later, ED ended the great sex. He won't touch me anymore (and I love physical touch) because of his shame about his inability to get an erection. He won't let me touch him. I've tried massage and other intimate touching (I don't need intercourse, but I do need touch) but he doesn't like massage. THIS is the great disappointment. His shame and personal guilt has led to not only his loss of sexual interest., but a loss in interest in pleasing me physically. I thought it was me. I lost 20 pounds, I paid attention to my appearance to be more attractive. It's him really. What is it with men who believe if they can't perform because of ED that they should no longer be attentive to their partner's needs? Big mistake and so disappointing. My advice to women over 50 is be careful of marrying men that are a lot older than you (my husband is 11 years older than me), especially if they seem to not be physically comfortable with their body in regard to non-sexual touching. I don't need to "get laid", but I do need intimacy and physical touching.
09:29 AM on 02/08/2012
Request that he go to counseling as well as couples' counseling with you. If he does not, then divorce him. He's too selfish to stay married.
09:44 AM on 02/08/2012
get somebody new !
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jonboy3000
09:07 AM on 02/08/2012
Myself, I find sex more powerful when it is combined with love and emotions (making love). I see how some folks may not want the commitment and just want to enjoy the pleasure of sex. I think it is part of my personality make up that makes me that way. I'm almost 60 and my girlfriend is 57. Our love making would put the kids to shame. We both take very good care of ourselves which may enhance things. I'm thankful for what I have and look forward to many years of love making. I never thought it would be like this when I was younger.
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PAposter
Radical Progressive
10:27 AM on 02/08/2012
Yummy :)
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hueylover
carry on
03:30 AM on 02/09/2012
sigh :)
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08:54 AM on 02/08/2012
Best sex I ever had was from an older woman in Long Beach California in 1960. I still think about her
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PAposter
Radical Progressive
10:28 AM on 02/08/2012
That's pretty cool.
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hueylover
carry on
03:32 AM on 02/09/2012
Evocative post.
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donnyraindog
Grass shack nailed to a pinewood floor
08:54 AM on 02/08/2012
After I hit the wrong side of 50 I started getting shot down in my own fantasys!
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rotorhead1871
who are you jivin' with that cosmic debris?...
09:48 AM on 02/08/2012
thats why you keep em to yourself....
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
PAposter
Radical Progressive
10:29 AM on 02/08/2012
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That's hilarious, and with a sense of humor like that, I'm sure you don't really need to rely on fantasies :)
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donnyraindog
Grass shack nailed to a pinewood floor
12:06 PM on 02/08/2012
What a sweet thing to say thanks ,and I love the avatar!
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Christine Fowler
Born again Human
08:49 AM on 02/08/2012
I grew up in the late 60's 70's and sex was not a topic in my home. When I was 25, I never would have imagined that when I was in my 40's, I would be able to tell my partner, 'I'm horney' - now? PppFFFFFttttt! All the time
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rMatey
old, recovered Xtian, Liberal
08:41 AM on 02/08/2012
Viagra. Get you're unicorn horn on.
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09:28 AM on 02/08/2012
hey, what ever works!
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Tully Hoover
So while I'm here, I'll have me a real good time!!
09:41 AM on 02/08/2012
dopemine, get that flowing from the hypothalamus and get you unicorn on.
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wollstonecraft
Self-described liberal, and proud of it.
08:39 AM on 02/08/2012
I cheer for anything, any lecture, any discussion, anything, that dispels the myth that after women hit 40 or so we're dead from the waist down. Anne Siperek, cheers to you!
09:33 AM on 02/08/2012
No KIDDING! Take a look around at women in their 40s and 50s! There are so many who are stunning. Which is in no way to say that one must look 22 or anything but one's age to feel and BE sexual. I just want to point out that, good heavens, that's still really young!

And if you're above ground...it's a good day! Celebrate it. Preferably with someone else young in spirit.
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djtejas
10:27 AM on 02/08/2012
I think women are better after 40...
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emerging pattern
08:35 AM on 02/08/2012
"Good sex for the fun of it is catching on."

i.e. casual sex is a boomer trend.

STDs are also catching on among boomers:
http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/293269/20120205/sexually-transmitted-disease-rise-baby-boomers.htm
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PAposter
Radical Progressive
10:30 AM on 02/08/2012
Ouch!
08:28 AM on 02/08/2012
There are many religions who have a god of sexuality that they worship. (This article made me think of that.)
08:27 AM on 02/08/2012
For clarity, it helps to recall that the indomitable Dr. Ruth was also inhospitable to her husband. They did not have sex, by her choice, for years and years, and they slept in separate beds.
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08:57 AM on 02/08/2012
ok so what do you want us to take from that? Most of us are pro sex and love here.
09:43 AM on 02/08/2012
Good for you. But for many women, their major sexual problem is not doing what their husband says. Instead, those women wait for another woman to say the exact same thing he's been saying for years.
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h111aryc1inton
Loyalty above all else, except Honor.
09:15 AM on 02/08/2012
Actually - Dr. Ruth's personal life has no bearing at all and the clarity was NOT needed.
10:38 AM on 02/08/2012
In terms of "do as I say, not as I don't" and "dirty little secret", I happen to believe it is relevant.