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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Teresa Pilkington Brown
09:36 AM on 04/23/2012
When I was in middle school (it was called Jr High then) there was a girl who looked liked she belonged in the 4th grade. She was tiny, skinny, had crooked teeth and straight, brown, greasy hair. She wore hand-me-down out of date clothes and the boys, when they did notice her, it was to call her by the nickname FLAT. That little girl was teased and tortured in HS. At 17 she looked so young she wasnt able to get into the movies at night without a grown up and at 25 she was still getting carded in bars and clubs. (called discos back then) She grew 2 inches in college got braces and a job so she could afford her own clothes. She got married had a baby and finally got some boobs (34b) and a nice shape and now at 50 she's called petite. Her husband says she's the ugly duckling that turned into a swan. I can live with that. Being skinny didnt help me be any more popular, happy, or smart. Strive to be healthy and happy being thin isnt the answer.
10:32 AM on 04/23/2012
oh what wonderful advice!

LOL-my mom was thin and flat too and she was carded into her 30's! (despite having me at 28)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Teresa Pilkington Brown
11:07 AM on 04/23/2012
When my son was 17 he wanted to go with me to pick out a dress for my nephew's wedding. The women at the check out counter asked us if we were going to the Prom. I was 48. A person's size doesnt effect their ability to have a life. My cousin was probably 100lbs over weight when she got married. And shes probably twice that now. You wont meet a nicer more caring social worker then she is and she has an amazing sence of humor.Yeah she's FAT so what.
09:34 AM on 04/23/2012
As a thin person who is thin because she has a chronic disease (Crohn's) even I feel like she does on occasion and bad-mouth myself in my head while looking in the mirror. And you would be surprised at how many times I have had women say they wished they had Crohn's so they too could be thin. My response is always the same..."Be very careful what you wish for." That generally shuts them up pretty quickly. Now that I am in my forty teens it's getting a bit easier to accept myself as is but there are still days when I play the what if game in my head. Why is it so darn important that I think I look good enough for other people to like me? If we were all the same what a boring world it would be.
09:33 AM on 04/23/2012
Wow....how lucky you are to be just kind of fat. At the risk of sounding bitter (which, really...I'm not...only a bit astounded by your choice of topics) your plight is kind of ridiculous. Couldn't you think of anything more meaningful to write about? Did anyone ever say you kind of short, tall, ugly, pretty, smart, dumb etc....You might have a plethora of story ideas here.
I can see why people take offense to this...and instead of pitying your "almost condition" I pity the fact you are so shallow but strive so hard to be deep. Like trying to dive into a kiddie pool.
10:14 AM on 04/23/2012
Personally, I didn't interpret the article the way you did. What I got out of it was how a careless comment can be exacerbated by society's warped image of "beauty" and our own insecurities. Being called "kind of fat" by someone who, at the time, is your only friend, is not the same thing as being called "kind of pretty, smart, tall," etc.
09:33 AM on 04/23/2012
I made a deal with myself in undergrad. I'm 5' 7" & 145lbs, I'll lose weight when I can't stir the shorts of at leas tone hot guy at the beach in my bikini. Hasn't happened yet;-) We don't give ourselves enough credit ladies (or gents for that matter). Instead of picking something you hate about yourself, for women this is often your stomach or your legs, pick something you LOVE all the time no matter what. I love my eyes, no matter what kind of day I'm having when I look in the mirror they look exotic and sultry, dark with a little tilt at the corners, I have big cat eyes and I absolutely adore them! So keep it up girls, we may not be able to beat the negative power of the media, but we can sit down at night and say to ourselves "Yep, I'm good enough, there is nothing wrong with me"
10:38 AM on 04/23/2012
some women are so messed up they cant find oen good thing they liek about themselves....

i liek to focus on what i love about my personailty though, since that is something i have very good control over!
01:05 PM on 04/23/2012
See but that's still good! People often mistake being happy with who you are for arrogance, which is so not the case. I tell myself I'm awesome all the time :) hehe. Anyone who tells you there is something wrong with that wishes they were as confident and grounded as you! If you like yourself other people will jump on the bad wagon ;)
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Yvette67
Laugh every day; it nurtures the spirit.
09:32 AM on 04/23/2012
Stay away from mean girls.
10:52 AM on 04/23/2012
YES!! Girls (and women) are especially mean to each other.......
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Yvette67
Laugh every day; it nurtures the spirit.
08:53 PM on 04/23/2012
I agree and don't understand it - in respect to size, most men are kinder or have the sense to not verbalize derogatory comments
09:31 AM on 04/23/2012
I wish Christy's boyfriend had told her that thousands of people are dying, injured, abused and/or starved because of wars, natural disasters, and all kinds of reasons, instead of saying that she was kind of fat. If so, the author might have become a useful member of society who cares about others' welfare rather than being obsessed of a few pounds on her body.
10:47 AM on 04/23/2012
Absolutely brilliant comment!! This "author" is squandering her opportunity to reach millions via print and this is what she chooses to focus on. This article is nothing more than a diary entry. She offers no insight, hope or help to anyone. Such a waste.
09:30 AM on 04/23/2012
This wussification of our Children has got to stop. Where is was certainly needed in a few instances it has now gone completely over board!
10:10 AM on 04/23/2012
I was going to reply to the article by writing, "Toughen up!" but you stated my position better. It's normal to feel self-conscious at one point or another in our lives but to be totally siderailed by certain insecurities is ridiculous. Whatever happened to "sticks and stones...?" Imagine if previous generations had a 'wuss' mentality when dealing with world wars or the Depression. This society is dominated by overly sensitive weaklings and it has affected young people in a detrimental way. Bring back the draft and let the military toughen up the softies. How else is this society going to cope with the new century of madness?
09:29 AM on 04/23/2012
One sentence from an idiot determined the course of your life?? Kind of pathetic don't you think??
09:58 AM on 04/23/2012
Have you ever been a 13-year-old girl with low self-esteem?
10:01 AM on 04/23/2012
Absolutely. This story is wrong in so many ways.
09:27 AM on 04/23/2012
Sounds like he told his girlfriend that he thought her friend was cute and not fat. Looks like jealously prevailed and this girl lied to her friend to keep her away from her boyfriend.
09:27 AM on 04/23/2012
Try having your father tell you that you are disgusting and fat, and just like your mother no one will ever love you because of it. Then we can talk about some emotional issues.
10:02 AM on 04/23/2012
Isn't it amazing how those comments stick with you throughout your whole life..........Your father is the disgusting one, not you............
04:59 PM on 04/23/2012
Agreed 100%. It has taken years, but I have moved on. Haven't seen him in over a decade now. But, I do admit, one screw up and his words come back with vengeance. Makes me a better Momma though, I realize how my words can hurt him for a lifetime so I am very careful with them.
09:25 AM on 04/23/2012
She's insecure with low self esteme Stop worrying bout what the rest of the world think sna denjoy life. Weight is an issue about Nutrition Not public scrutiny
09:23 AM on 04/23/2012
The thing about the last statement she makes in the article about realizing Christy's boyfriend saying she was "kind of fat" was false, is that not only did he not say it, but that Christy never really had a boyfriend at all. I knew Christy was telling her a falsehood and the end of the article just made me smile, thinking "it took you 20 years to figure that out?" Kids that age say they have a boyfriend or girlfriend all the time. When in fact it's just a boy or girl they just like and the person in question really doesn't even know they exist. When I was that age girls used to come over and stand in front of my house quite often and stare and point and giggle and I and my friends would do the same at girls houses. It's especially telling of someone's unrequited love when they have to get on a bus and walk seven blocks to someone's house. Christy clearly wanted to be thought of as cool because she had a boyfriend, but could actually show no proof of such. For some reason the human psyche deems someone who has a boyfriend/girlfriend as more desirable, so those who don't have one or can't get one, make one up. Christy made the whole thing up, the boyfriend and his statement. If that boy really was Christy's boyfriend and only saw her once in a while he would have come out and interacted.
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09:53 AM on 04/23/2012
yeah... the girls fake boyfriend made her feel bad about herself.
it wasn't the "boy", it was the comment. and christy is probably still trolling in other towns for the opposite sex.
09:22 AM on 04/23/2012
Let me write at article how all the kids picked on me for being the only arab american in my class. talk about scarred....im pretty sure this woman is fine with her millions...
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09:22 AM on 04/23/2012
Not fat but definitely Not cute ..is that better?
09:17 AM on 04/23/2012
Another woman with a fat complex. She, and others like her, need to seek mental help.