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Jennifer Ball
07:22 PM on 08/12/2013
Seriously, ten reasons? Here's one: THEY EFFED SOMEONE ELSE. Enough said.
Science is magic that works!
07:14 PM on 08/12/2013
Spot on article. . . if you want abn open relationship fine, be up front, or better yet, know yourself -- don't think you can change someone, or that you can change FOR someone, it never works and pople juts get hurt, kids loose a parent, and court costs can break you. . .

Oh, and another thing? Trash that old myth of the "One". I don't even want to get started on how much that limits or even denies the human capacity to love many and differently throughput their lives . . . .and we DO live much longer than we did several centuries ago when this idea of "romantic" love surfaced. . . .30 years for men, 15-20 years for women . . . then a vow of till death do us part a pretty sure thing; it's possible, but rare in the 21st century. . .
07:39 PM on 08/13/2013
They think we are silly in Europe
Quite a journey we're on here
06:27 PM on 08/12/2013
Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. One hell of a lot of effort to repair a burned bridge and sometimes it works; I'm betting most times it doesn't. I'm too far down the road to put up with people/situations that aren't "straight up." I make it a point to deal with anything I feel needs to be addressed--in myself or other.
06:24 PM on 08/12/2013
The defining characteristic of an exclusive s-exual relationship is being exclusive s-exually. Otherwise you are already no longer in an exclusive s-exual relationship. It is possible you can then be in some other relationship, but it can never be what you thought you had before, never.
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06:27 PM on 08/12/2013
That is not so precise. I've encountered so many folks that were on and off before marrying for good. And it strengthened their readiness for marriage.
06:33 PM on 08/12/2013
They weren't exclusive.
Few People have absolute Facts.
11:42 AM on 08/14/2013
Not really,
They were shopping around for the best deal,
If they should find it yet, they would still go
for it , because they were not to sure to begin with !
05:35 PM on 08/12/2013
If there's any person out there who's recently been cheated on, please understand one thing...

You didn't deserve this. No one is the perfect spouse, and I'm sure you could have been a better partner, but you didn't earn this misery. No one can earn that kind of betrayal.

I had an affair last year and it nearly ruined my marriage...but we survived the storm. I write a blog about our story... check it out maybe.
06:50 PM on 08/13/2013
I wouldn't bank on the survival of this marriage. It might take a while but I'd be willing to bank on this marriage ending sometime in the future. You will never get back the trust or love you had before you found out your partner has cheated on you. He/she might try but 99% of the time it just doesn't work anymore.
06:57 PM on 08/13/2013
You're right that many people don't have the fortitude to withstand this type of pain. Usually, this kind of betrayal is fatal to a marriage.  But I'm the one  who screwed up, and I'm staying until she tells me to do otherwise. I've majorly wounded her, and so all I can do is honor her needs, no matter what happens. On a side note, thanks for believing in us. :P
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01:45 PM on 08/12/2013
I didn't want to read the article because my cheating husband didn't give me a choice. He filed for divorce behind my back. But I read it and yup, if he hadn't left, I would have kicked his butt to the curb. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
01:25 PM on 08/12/2013
My wife cheated on me before we got married, I took her back, and should have known better. She never cheated again, but some of the ground rules I laid down, she decided they were too big to deal with (like go to therapy), and instead went back to her narcissistic ways and acted like she wasn't the one who messed up.
02:30 PM on 08/12/2013
Thats what a lot of people do they never Admit when their wrong. They are too good to look at themselves. Very condescending.
06:52 PM on 08/13/2013
Before or after, if they cheat after a commitment has been made they can not be trusted. Been there, don't that. It is just not the same and will never work out.
01:19 PM on 08/12/2013
Americans are so hung up on sex that they believe monogamy is the primary indicator for whether or not a relationship is working. People check out of their relationships all the time - and usually it's not just the "cheater" who has checked out... there's typically something going on with both sides. Leaving the relationship is an option, though it's not always viable due to finances, kids, etc. not to mention that the two people involved might have a lot invested in each other. That's not to say don't leave - but if there's usually a bigger picture to consider (and if there's not, then you might want to think about your relationship, sexual fidelity or not).
Bill Braskie
02:05 PM on 08/12/2013
The lack of monogamy is not why cheating is wrong, its wrong because you are hurting your partner and betraying their trust. Yes Americans tend to be skittish about sex, but don't confuse infidelity with "open mindedness". If you think monogamy is outdated or just not your thing, fine, more power to you. Just make sure your partner is aware of this and is OK with it.
Kath Forsyth
06:35 AM on 08/13/2013
Well said!
03:30 PM on 08/12/2013
If you want non-monagamy then arrange that with your partner. Then they know the emotional and physical risks associated with being with you.
01:17 PM on 08/12/2013
Do people really need ten reasons? Seems like one is enough: 'Cause he/she cheated on you.
01:35 PM on 08/12/2013
That one reason is plenty; I so agree with you!!
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01:06 PM on 08/12/2013
My ex-husband cheated on me, because he said he was still in love with his ex. Not sure why he married me then. He did try to come back to me several times, but I refused. I just couldn't see it being the same like the article said.
01:05 PM on 08/12/2013
Money is your best friend. Not your spouse. Make sure you've got your financial ducks in a row if you walk because of cheating.
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02:01 PM on 08/12/2013
You should have your financial ducks in a row regardless.
01:02 PM on 08/12/2013
Men cheat because they can't admit to their partners they still want sexual variety. Women cheat to find love and personal attention.
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Share the luv, money and healthcare.
01:38 PM on 08/12/2013
People cheat because they lack integrity and respect for their partners.
Seek Within
I'm ambidextrous.
01:43 PM on 08/12/2013
Sounds nice and neat, but rarely is life so simplistic. Women don't have a lock on desiring love and personal attention. Nor do men have a lock on wanting sexual variety.
Freedom is not a given.
12:47 PM on 08/12/2013
Women don't get caught.
Life's merry go round
10:43 PM on 08/12/2013
Yes they do. Though I will admit, They sure are darn good liars about it.
Economic liberal, social libertarian
12:46 PM on 08/12/2013
The author should have made an attempt to through more "her" in there. It's in the title, but then in all 10 reasons I just see "he", "him", "his".
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12:45 PM on 08/12/2013
The writer really seems like she has moved on, doesn't she? I can appreciate that someone would want/need to end a relationship with someone who broke an important element of trust but many of those ten reasons (e.g., for the kids) are pathetic. This is a very personal decision. One that we should make for ourselves. The idea that someone would blog about it to convince others that a decision to stay in a relationship is likley "the biggest mistake" they will ever make is manipulative and mean spirited. People make mistakes. We all need to weigh a myriad of factors into whether to end a relationship and we should feel added guilt if that decision is to stay in the relationship or to give it time before making a decision.