PFLAG, Obama, The Castro and Dumblegay

The Gays. They are all over the news lately. I'm not just talking about the latest Republican conservative homobasher doing the naked YMCA with a male escort (this week's is Rep. Richard Curtis of Washington State). Whether it's Larry Craig's lovelorn men's room foot, Obama's tour with ex-Gay Rev. Donnie McClurkin, or even the outing of Dumbledore, Gay news items are all the rage. And why shouldn't they be? What other topic evokes such anger? What other subject can cause a conversation (or even Entertainment Weekly's message board) to devolve into sermons, with people intoning the Bible like the sky was swirling above them in almighty agreement? Certainly not the wars causing all that death. Maybe evolution? Science? Booor-ring! Let's talk about the Gays!

Days before the Dumbledore reveal, I had just come off a whirlwind of gay activity (no, it's not going there) with my mother (see?). We had just attended a PFLAG (Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) convention in Washington, D.C. As two straight single women this may seem like an unexpected choice for a family vacation but we were there for my mom's company, Open Closet, a family friendly gay greeting card line. Open Closet came about when my mom noticed that gay card selections in stores tended towards the raunchy or only addressed couples. There were no cards from two same sex parents to their children or from a child to his or her gay parents for holidays, like Father's Day. Essentially there were no cards honoring the family traditions celebrated by greeting cards for the straights. So my mom launched Open Closet and a year later we found ourselves at PFLAG hearing stories about the challenges of coming to terms with one's sexuality in parts of the country that are not tolerant of homosexuality.

While the center stage of the drama "Boo Gays" is occupied by conservative religious groups there are other players lurking in the background, over by the fake tree and cardboard sun. This is a group of people who don't identify themselves as homophobic, per se, (who would want to be some crazy Bible-thumper?) but still don't accept homosexuals as "regular" people. They say things like:

I'm okay with gay people so long as: 1) they don't hit on me 2) I don't have to see them act gay in public 3) they don't try to make their lifestyle appear normal and appealing to my children.

My favorite of these types of comments is that gay couples in public are offensive. Aren't all couples in public offensive?

To me, this tacit form of homophobia is scarier than anything Christian groups can "Thou art" on their blogs and newsletters. It's what compels politicians who I want to vote for, like Obama, Bill Richardson, and Christopher Dodd, to oppose gay marriage for the sake of voters who are "okay with Gays but..." All three support civil unions and believe gay couples should have the same rights as married heterosexual couples, so then if it's not a legal matter, it's clearly a cultural one. By legislating against marriage, gay culture is once again marginalized, part of a fringe circuit, something outside of the "normal" straight world. A gay couple raising a family is somehow weirder than housewives swinging around stripper poles at the local Crunch for their husbands. Hmm.

In years to come, hopefully the ban on gay marriage and general homophobia will be just another patch on the American heritage quilt of folksy bigotry. Like quaint minstrel shows and women not being allowed to vote.

Meanwhile, there's no Halloween parade in the Castro tonight because in recent years the event had become too overrun with violent hate-mongering agitators.

Comments

[Purple Girl]

No Way the Castro -NO HOLLOWEEN PARTY!?!?!
Been there & have done that- greatest street party, whether you're gay or straight. I'm starting to believe the Illegal aliens reside in the Neo Cons- Where th ehell did these people come from???? What rock did they crawl out from underneath or ship did they land in. this is not MY America, nor my fellow Americans. We have been infiltrated by religious radicals who seek to make US also a Theocracy. they might as well be on Binny's payroll (maybe they already are).

[DianeDfromPhoenix]

Thank you for this post! I have found covert homophobia far more harmful than anyone might imagine.

In my long years of experience, with few exceptions (and thank God for those!), liberals prefer that I conduct myself in a manner just that's a bit (or a lot) self-loathing. This way, they don't have to deal with any non-heterosexual yearnings they themselves experience. As Kate Millett said, "Homosexuality was invented by heterosexuals who don't want to deal with their bisexuality."

I can't count the number of times I've had "straight" women flirt with me, especially since pornography has become so prevalent. If I name this activity out loud, or heaven forbid, express interest in return, I instantly become treated like some kind of predator. If I stand up for myself, I will subsequently only be seen in terms of sexual identity.

I know America has progressed a lot in dealing with the broad spectrum of sexual orientation, but we have a hell of a long way to go.

[Qbear]

btw gaywired has an excellent column "bye bye barack"

Queerty.com has a thread of Edwards reaching out to the gay community
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2006-8/1210139/bus.jpg

I suggested Edward's campaign plan a Gospel Concert 4 EVERYONE

that'd tell Obama and McClurkin where they stand.

[OhgReaTone]

The irrational exuberance of the neo-con right at Dumbledore's outing would be hilarious if not so mean spirited. This continued outlandish behavior spills over and seeps into every crack and crevice of society - like mold between the tiles in the shower.
Ohg.
Link to Fireside, Dumbledore is Gay - So What

[Boadicea]

I'd like to take this opportunity to encourage everyone reading to start watching LOGO TV.

Television programming showing how "normal" gay families are is the best antidote I can think of to the fear of the unknown, which is essentially what homophobia really is. In a safe environment - their own living rooms - Americans can learn that there really is nothing to be afraid of. Pretty soon, you're forgetting that what you are watching is "gay programming." It turns out that gays have the same joys and challenges as the rest of humanity.

[thetone1]

Oh nonsense. The Castro Halloween thing was not shut down by haters. What an idiotic statement! It was shut down by gang thugs with guns who like to fight other punks. I was there in 04 and 05 and there were very few gays in evidence, maybe due to the fact that it had become a City-wide event, maybe due to the fact that the Castro is becoming middle-aged and dull.

[WhyWhyZed]

All the homophobes who are against Gay marriage need to have their marriages annulled and turned in to civil unions...

Put your money where your mouth is and some of us might believe your crap about "Their right to marriage is more important than anyone else's rights".

More like the homophobes want to keep THEIR right to marriage, because they think it's more important than Gays and Lesbians having civil rights.

[itmaybetoolate]

Civil marriage is a civil right. Marriage is a "legal" contract and does not have to have anything to do with religion, church, etc. It is fine for christo-nazis to go to a church and have their legal state sponsored marriage blessed, but why shouldn't everyone have the right to have a state sponsored legal contract entitled marriage? Oh right, it hurts the "widdle feewings" of the poor christo-nazis. evangelico-facist christo-nazis are a disease that is killing our country.

[factanonverba]

I'm in the Castro right now and people are out and about strolling and enjoying a pleasant San Francisco evening. The police barricades are out lined up on Market from Noe to Castro and up Castro from Market to 20th Street. There are plenty of guys and kids in costumes or even drag and otherwise campy costumes with even our dogs dressed up for the occasion yet our fears are when the drunken heterosexuals show up demanding a party. The media is here is full force, I guess hoping for a non-event. For those who live in and near the Castro, the loss of our public festivities is a near tragedy. Our parties will be driven in doors or into the bars. What was once a safe and fun event has been transformed into an assault on us. Halloween is what I call a "high-homo holiday" that allowed us to show off our creativity and be campy. Halloween in the Castro was also a major fund-raising event for numerous GLBT causes from Aids to homelessness but in the 10 years I have been in SF, the event became unmanageable as droves of non-gays came into our neighborhood simply seeking trouble (seeking to bash a few gays). It is a loss for us and our kids. It shows that in even the progressive Bay Area, homophobia can rear its ugly head in an instant.

[JohnJames]

Thanks. It's always so encouraging to hear from a straight person who "gets" it. You're right on the money with the "I'm ok with gays, as long as ..." types. They're much more frustrating than the out and out haters. Best wishes with Open Closet. Great idea.

[eddiestardust]

Gay Marriage Activists and Abortion Rights Activists lost the 2004 election for us.

Kindly take a bow!:(

Now, before you start screaming, kindly remember that their baloney also killed Americans in Iraq.

Their right to marriage is more important than anyone else's rights?

I think not.

Why is it that a minority has more rights than the majority?

If so, than I'm going to start to say that my rights as a White Anglo-Saxon Single are denied too...

And mine have been and you did it!

[crowepps]

Instead of obsessing about whether gays will look like a couple in public or their lifestyle looks attractive to children, could we please have a public ban on violent hate-mongering agitators?

I for one am sick and tired of freedom of speech and religion being used as a Constitution screen for the loud public proclamations of bigots, misogynists and religious fanatics.

[PADDYWHACK]

I was sooo disappointed when the teletubbies were outed and now Dumbledore,who's next ?.

[SeanGardner]

Interestng post.

Something else that has been bubbling up over the past few days is the muted, and uneven response from THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN to the homophobic ministers connected to some campaigns. THis is a good link: http://www.thebarackobamareport.com/the_barack_obama_report/2007/10/is-human-rights.html

And you forgot to mention that Hillary and John Edwards oppose gay marriage too. It is too controversial of an issue for any politican (who truly believes in it) to champion right now. I support it, but most of America does not. All of the frontrunners now this.

In the next 20 years, it will be the law in most states. I do believe it. Until then, I'll take comfort in Obama's strong record on issues of importance to gays and other Americans.

[realitytrumpsbull]

What I think is really funny is that they've
found all these gay priests and stuff, and
so now all the churchies and their global
counterparts are scrambling trying to have
this high n mighty moral appearance, well
I have this question, why do you think they
call it the Missionary Position? LOL

Yeah yeah, you see someone packin' religious
literature and moralizing loudly, prepare to get screwed irregardless of race, age, or gender, 'cause they're trying to fuck(with) somebody...