It was Dr. Strangelove versus Eddie Haskell at the Ronald Reagan library on Wednesday.
There was a time, like maybe Monday afternoon, when I thought Mitt Romney might be Ward Cleaver, the button-downed Dad whose melodious platitudes could hypnotize a nation.
But no, by last night at the California debate table, Romney instead came across as the conniving Eddie, flashing an occasional dark-side glare at neighborhood rivals while sitting up dutifully straight and innocently smiling for Republican Den Mother Nancy Reagan in the front row.
Enter John "Strangelove" McCain, who can launch battle ships with a single smirk. About 45 minutes into a debate that had sputtered into a ditch of hazy economic statistics, the Arizona senator woke up and concluded that it was time for Romney to perish.
Never mind that McCain distorts his prey's words to do the job. The ensuing dust-up produced a devastating moment (and nobody likes Romney anyway). After McCain had read aloud a typically vague Romney statement, the former Massachusetts governor offered this remarkable response to his own quote: "What does that mean?"
That's right, what had been widely suspected turns out to be true: Romney really doesn't know what he is talking about. Cue the mushroom cloud. Dr. Strangelove has just rid the neighborhood of a bully. More on Craig Crawford's Trail Mix.
TODAYS CAPTION CONTEST
And in a final tribute to the earliest-ever Florida Primary, which McCain won on Tuesday in what could be remembered as the GOP's king-maker contest, please indulge this posting of a photo depicting Katherine Harris holding a possum by its tail. As some of you might know, I collect goofy photos of my home state's former secretary. Your suggested captions are welcome.