Let's assume, for the sake of argument, that the allegations that Justin Bieber sired a baby boy after 30-seconds of backstage bathroom sex with a plucked from the crowd concert-goer are true. Many of the details of the story ring true -- from the backstage girl-herding for Justin's selection to the frenzied quickie and then post-coital dissing by the heartthrob. In fact, it sounds routine.
If the allegations in a lawsuit filed by the mother are true, Justin would be emblematic of a very common, and life-altering, misstep made by many of his peers. He would become the trend follower not the setter; the United States suffers the highest teen pregnancy rates than any other industrialized nation, and by a lot. We have twice the rate of teen births as England, and they came in second. Our teenagers are woefully unprepared for the sex lives they are choosing to lead.
It's important to try to understand this alleged scenario from Bieber's perspective. He was a (at the time) 16 year-old boy who was, safe to say, under the influence of powerful hormones. He's also the most lusted after teen in history. He physically transfixes fans including the 20,000 he had appeared before the night of the supposed encounter and who spent the length of the concert shrieking and crying his name. He travels in an entourage that serves as his human shield against the greatest danger to his safety: teen girl lust. For him, there's always the looming and very real threat of being crushed by a stampede of Bieberishly-feverishly-crazed girls.
His own sexuality is unfolding within this surreal set of circumstances. And yet, his decision, or lack of decision, is typical of so many young men his age, even those without his immense celebrity. Young men, even those who want to use condoms, can't always pull off the trick. They're embarrassed or incompetent, and they don't have an adult to turn to. With Bieber it's even more complicated. Justin can't buy condoms for himself without it becoming international news. And who on his staff would want to buy him condoms, and thus seem to sanction his casual underage sexual encounters?
In reproduction, the rules of celebrity don't apply. If he was having unprotected sex with Belieber-aged young women, there's an 86% likelihood he's going to get someone pregnant. Teens, like Bieber, don't realize they are far more fertile and at much greater risk of pregnancy than any other demographic. Three in ten girls in the US get pregnant at least once before the age of 20 and 60% of pregnancies to women age 20-24 are unplanned.
Someone needs to talk with Justin about condoms. Not only for birth control, there's sexually transmitted disease, too. He can't be helped by abstinence and prayer alone, as is true with most American teens. America needs to prioritize sex education and not just a run-of -the mill review of contraceptive methods and risks. And while there may not be a professional out there capable of preparing Justin for the level of temptation and the volume of sexual propositions that await him personally, it would be good to admit and accept that we all will face temptation, indeed it's an American way of life. It's time to stop leaving to chance the consequences of the healthy sex lives we want to lead.
Bieber may already be a teen dad too -- the lawsuit alleges that the baby is three months old -- and, if he is, it will be familiar territory for him. He was the product of an unplanned pregnancy, born to two teenagers and raised by his single mom. He experienced all that typically comes with that script, including extreme poverty. He understands that, while he could not have been raised in a more loving home, teen parenthood is really hard. His parents married but, like most teen parents, soon divorced which is a reality he struggles with to this day.
For Bieber a positive paternity test at age 17 could be a defining moment. Bieber has never shied away from being a role model. He has leveraged his stardom for many causes aimed at protecting his fan-base including a device that disables texting while driving and founded Giving Back Brands which uses all proceeds from his perfume to support causes that enhance the lives and education of children. So why not address an issue that he himself knows the importance of? Why not talk candidly about sexual desire and pregnancy prevention? With 14 million twitter followers, a single informed tweet from Justin could do more for prevention of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases than the morning after pill.
Of course, no one knows for sure yet if the baby is his -- and his lawyers have denounced the lawsuit as defamatory. True or not, Bieber serves as an allegory for the way we treat American teens: leading them to temptation, unprotected and unprepared, and expecting more of them than we do of ourselves.
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What exactly was saved and what was lost?
I run a Girl Scout troop, and talk to the other moms. They're convinced they don't need to talk to their daughters until they are 13 or 14 or older. I started talking to my daughter when she was 7. Why? Because I had a friend growing up who had 2 kids by the time she was 15, that's why. They were both taken away by the state, but that's another sad story.
To not provide contraception is one thing. But with a 4/10 STD/STI rate among 13-19 year old girls in this country, it seems better to play the odds. And with over 1,000,000 abortions performed in the US a year, those odds seem stacked against us.
To not provide information is another. How can we expect our kids to be safe and stay children if we don't teach them anything? We're destined to fail otherwise.
I recall having a heart-to-heart with some young women at a highschool I taught at years ago, and what they told me was just appalling. They said with absolute sincerity that if they weren't having sex by the time they were 14, they were cast out of their peer group.
So many teens are raising themselves: that certainly was the case in this poor town: if schools can't admit that and provide practical sex-education - well, we are currently reaping what we've sown, quite literally.
Given that this author works for HP, she is most likely about 25. Therefore, she's probably never heard of Elvis Presley nor the Beatles. Perhaps she could google them on her I-Phone, so she could learn a little bit about history. There is absolutely nothing new about this new teenage heart throb, and in 10 years he will be every bit as over the hill as David Cassidy and Leif Garrett were.
Better she should spend her time ANALYZING why we have such a high rate of teenage pregnancies, and why we (some of us, i should say) have such a hostile attitude towards sex education and towards reproductive choice in all its forms. Her pointless, breathless prose speculating and gossiping serves no purpose at all.
The 'morality' of some imposed on all means that our teens are not so lucky. They go into emerging sexuality and young adulthood uninformed and unprepared. There are a goodly number of us who would no more want to see our kid marry someone with whom they'd not had sex (or marry at 20 in order to have sanctioned sex) than we'd advise them to purchase a car without driving it first. Or buy shoes without trying them on. Seriously. Kind of a crass comparison, but apt.
Interestingly, kids who are provided with abstinence-only sex ed not only have rates of pregnancy as high as those with comprehensive sex ed, the rates of STDs are actually HIGHER in the abstinence group. Google it.
My 20 year marriage hasn't been damaged at all by the fact that neither of us were blushing virgins going in, probably because neither of us are quaking in fear of being compared to past lovers or jealous of things that happened before we even knew each other. In other words, we think like adults, not arrested children.
People most often break up over money issues: but they also frequently endure unhappy marriages 'because of the kids' when they find out their day-to-day lifestyles aren't compatible, even though their 'rush' when they first fell in love was consuming.
Placing an entire life's commitment on that feeling is the immature thing. And sexuality is an important part of most peoples' lives. To gamble on that isn't really a smart thing in the long run (i.e., a lifetime with one other person). Heck, even (St.) Thomas More proposed getting to know your partner physically before committing to marriage. It's in his Utopia.
Also, it is our current culture that makes today's teens less mature and responsible. The culture that treats them like infants until they're well into their 20s as opposed to treating them like the emerging adults they are.
Only normal for stupid teens. I am not exaggerating, check out "Smart teens don't have sex." by Halpern et al. Also, according to data from "Sexual Experiences of Adolescents with Low Cognitive Abilities in the U.S." as summarized in "Virginity as a function of IQ" Of high school students with "normal" (non-mentally impaired) IQ (70+), in the stupidest group (70-90) only half (50.2%) were virgins, the majority (58.6%) of those with average (90-110) IQs were virgins and of those with IQ's of 110+, 70.3% were virgins (the percentages of virgins continue to getting higher thereafter at about 2.7% for males and 1.7% for females per IQ point)
Sadder still that male victims of female sexual attacks are legally liable for child support.
Can you imagine the outcry if pregnant female rape victims were legally denied control over their pregnancies and forced to pay their attackers if they gave birth?
Boys and men are disposable in the eyes of our feminist legal system.
I also have enough common sense to despise those statutory rape charges against boys/men that are under 21 & their partners are 15+.
Most of those harsh statutory rape charges are filed by conservative PARENTS, not feminists, FYI.
Wrong. He was in CA when this adult female assaulted him, where the age of consent is 18.
And now she's extorting him for money. Wonderful.
I hope you don't have any young sons or other underage male relatives.
When values relating to abstinence and respect are mocked and sexuality is glorified, why are we surprised (and dismayed) at the levels of teen pregnancy, sexting, preteens having oral sex in the school bathrooms, "friends with benefits", sexually transmitted diseases? When will we learn that our "sexual freedom" culture causes societal damage: increasing poverty (due single parent households), disease, and dysfunctional families? Either we embrace all that comes with casual sex for teens (and adults) and stop been surprised when there are consequences, or start promoting a culture of responsible sexuality. I, for one, am going to teach my boys all about birth control, STDS, and that they shouldn't have sex until they are ready to be married and have a baby.
When did TV become an entitlement? Are you incapable of teaching your children how to deal with the outside world?
I see a totally and completely different world than you do- one where teens are constantly beaten on the head that "Sex is bad, sex is bad" and they are then therefore forced to hide it, passing up STD and pregnancy prevention because of people like you constantly wringing their hands about sex and how BAD it is.
We DON"T have a sexual freedom culture, and that's the problem. You're seeing through some crazyass glasses. For a truly FREE sexual culture, see UK and the Dutch. And while you're looking, note their vasly reduced STD and pregnancy rates. We are the laughingstock of the world, sexually, because of repression like yours, and rightfully so.
"the Dutch"
The average age of first sex for the Dutch is 18.1 years old. So most are waiting till they are adults there, it isn't the stereotype you claim.
"I see a totally and completely different world than you do- one where teens are constantly beaten on the head that "Sex is bad, sex is bad" and they are then therefore forced to hide it, passing up STD and pregnancy prevention because of people like you constantly wringing their hands about sex and how BAD it is."
Anita Chandra's 2008 study published in the American Journal of Pediatrics found that teens who watched shows like Sex and the City were more likely to get pregnant or get someone else pregnant. They also noted previous studies had found a similar association between sexually charged music/tv and STD's. So obviously glamorizing sex is even worse.
Respectfully submitted,
Joneen Mackenzie RN
Center for Relationship Education
www.myrelationshipcenter.org
And sex is part of both " the wonder and magic of healthy, satisfying, lifetime committed relationships" and an amazing way to interact on a short term basis. Always has been, always will be. That you contrast the " wonder and magic of healthy, satisfying, lifetime committed relationships" with CONDOMS indicates you do not have a very good attitude towards sex or family planning, or wanted versus unwanted pregnancies. Very puzzling that with your fictionalization of human interaction you would be involved with something called "Center for Relationship Education". Looking at the website briefly I can see that it has more to do with "family values" in the "Christian Conservative" understanding, than with any real research or understanding of the dynamics of sexuality or intimate relations/relationships.
God, I hate the disingenuous!