Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Season 1, Episode 20 of ABC's "Revenge," entitled "Legacy."
Aside from Victoria's cluelessness, Nolan's awkward flirting and Jack's hilariously bad hair, this week's episode of "Revenge" didn't offer anything new. It was all fluff and filler.
It's December 28, 2002, and Amanda Clarke is in a New York City club, listening to 50 Cent's "In Da Club," and kicking the crap out of a guy with a toilet set. It's a far cry from Emily Thorne.
Outside of da club, Amanda, drunk from one too many vodka tonics, runs into Nolan, who manages to look 10 years older -- not younger -- without his platinum blonde Bieber cut. Judging from Amanda's delinquent behavior, Nolan realizes that she hasn't read her father's journals. Apparently, Nolan couldn't control Amanda in 2002 either.
Inspired by Nolan's gloriously parted hair, Amanda heads to Montauk and somehow ends up at the Stowaway, where she makes small talk with the pretty girl behind the bar. She orders another vodka tonic ... without the tonic.
Then baby Declan enters, followed by Jack. Holy hair! Is that Jack Porter or Jack White? It looks a little more 1992 than 2002, but we all know how Jack likes to hold on to the past.
While Amanda stares at the jacked up hair in front of her, Conrad Grayson is in his office at Grayson Global, on the phone with Frank, saying ominous things like "We have a situation." If I had a dollar for every time Conrad said "We have a situation," I think I could probably afford a better wig that the one that's on Jack's head.
It turns out that Conrad received a note from someone who knows what really happened to David Clarke. Victoria is not amused. After all, she has a New Year's Eve party to host. It's just not the right time to receive threatening notes splattered with fake blood.
Looking for a way to make money, Amanda takes a catering job for the Grayson's New Year's Eve party. It just so happens that every single person responsible for her father's imprisonment happens to be in attendance. But she doesn't really know that yet. All she knows is that Victoria Grayson is one shady bitch.
Speaking of shady bitches, Lydia and her husband arrive at Grayson manor ready to celebrate the New Year -- and their new beach home, which happens to be the old Clarke residence. We learn that this was the night Lydia and Conrad started their affair, and thus, the worst kept secret in the Hamptons was born.
Last time we heard from Conrad's mistress, she was "someplace safe" recovering from her amnesia after Frank tried to kill her. Her whereabouts are still unknown. Personally, I think Conrad paid her off and set her up in the Upper East Side. She's probably BFFs with the Van der Woodsens by now.
Writer Mason Treadwell, looking quite fabulous, is also in attendance at the Grayson's fancy soiree, and he gives Victoria a photograph of David, taken just before his death. This happens to be the same photograph that Charlotte found in Victoria's drawer and gave to Emily.
After David's death, sales of Treadwell's book spiked, and now he's on a mission to find something new to add to his David Clarke saga. Couldn't he have just written a book about sparkly vampires or something? Did he really have to go stir up more trouble?
While Treadwell boasts about his good fortune, it's clear that Victoria hasn't gotten over David's death -- and her relationship with him. She recalls the night she met David Clarke. It was New Years Eve, 1992. She was in an unhappy marriage, and he was a single dad living in her beach house. It was like a Nicholas Sparks novel!
If last week's episode didn't already spell it out, Victoria is still in love with David, and no amount of British lovers is going to change that.
One of the best things about this episode -- and sadly, there were very few -- was seeing Victoria Grayson before she became the Hamptons' H.B.I.C. In 2002, she makes rookie mistakes, and Conrad is always one step ahead of her. Not to mention hooking up with her BFF in the next room.
Also in attendance at the Grayson's fancy party is Roger, David's only confidant. Roger asks Amanda to be taken to another room, away from the Graysons and all of the other annoying, pretentious people at the party.
Amanda takes him to Conrad's study and snags a bottle of bourbon for him while she's at it. Apparently, Conrad doesn't keep his stash well-hidden. Amanda then confronts Roger and blows her cover, telling him that she's David Clarke's daughter. Even though he plays it cool, there's obviously something he wants to tell her. But she'll just have to wait for that one. He has a party to get back to.
After a few more drinks, Roger stumbles into Amanda, nearly knocking her down. Later, we learn that he actually fell into her on purpose, so that he could sneak a note into her pocket. Unfortunately for Roger, he never gets a chance to see Amanda again.
Suspecting that Roger was the one who sent the note to Conrad, Frank interrogates Roger, which ultimately ends in his death.
However, it turns out that Treadwell actually wrote the note for ... "inspiration." You see, any great story has to stem from some kind of drama -- and Jack's hair doesn't count! After this episode, Mason Treadwell is No. 1 on my revenge list.
After hysterically crying on her porch (I don't even think Emily is capable of crying), Amanda opens Roger's letter. He tells her the truth about what happened to her father, and how she can get the revenge he was too cowardly to seek. Of course, the road to revenge isn't an easy one to follow, and it apparently includes getting an infinity symbol tattoo.
Mason Treadwell: "For me, his demise has rekindled the public's interest."
Amanda/Emily: "I'm not afraid of these people, and you shouldn't be either."
Conrad: "It's perverse, don't you think? Destroy the man you love and then weep for him eternally?"
Lydia: "We all know what you're capable of."
Mason Treadwell: "Quite the soiree. Feels like we've been cast in '10 Little Indians.'"
Amanda/Emily: "These people are going to pay. They're going to pay for what they did."
"Revenge" airs Wednesday at 10 p.m. ET on ABC.