02/11/2011 06:01 pm ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

How Would You Find Your Mate?

I love when my girlfriends and I gather around the bar in my kitchen with great food and bottles of wine. Yes, I said bottles of wine. And you know when the wine comes out, so will the interesting conversation. This time, as one of my married girlfriends went to grab a strawberry and asked us single girls around the table if we look for mates, and if so, how.

I'm going to be very honest right now. I am 40 years old and may be a little "old school" with my thinking, but I believe that people meet by being at the right place at the right time. At that point, some of the glasses at the table were being topped off. A couple of my single girlfriends asked me if I ever did online dating. I responded, "Nope, and don't plan too!" Well, they thought I was crazy. Why go out to bars, bookstores, grocery stores, gyms or any place for that matter to see if your man is out there when you can just possibly meet a mate online?

Then I topped off my wine glass. I told them that I refuse to get on a computer and put everything that I'd like to see in a man in a section of an online dating site. Why not? "First off, Crystal, it's not like that! You're not just given a page to write your checklist of what you want your mate to be or look like. It's kind of a challenge. You get to tell people out there a little about you and what your interests are and what you'd like to see in a mate." 

And, you get to do all of this in the privacy of your own home. Then, you get to see some of the men who are interested in meeting you before you actually meet them in person. 

How do you know that the picture shown is really of that person? They could send me a picture of some sexy, beautiful man and in person, they actually turn out to not be the person you thought they were. Maybe they sent the picture and this incredible description because they were intimidated but really wanted to meet you. I don't know! Crystal, please don't think that way. It's not a bad thing. Open up your horizons!  Ugh! Open up, huh. I just don't know about that. Possibly meeting someone on a computer? What happened to just going out and "bumping" into the person of your dreams?  Are we too busy in our everyday lives to now just trying to meet what we want on a computer so we don't have to waste our prescious time?  Is our "prince/princess" coming one day a thing of the past?  Are all of these dating sites really the way to go when it comes to finding your mate? Obviously, online dating isn't for everyone - clearly - even after 3 glasses of wine!  But, does this mean being at the right place at the right time to meet a mate is over and done with?  Is going to a cocktail party or dinner party and seeing your possible mate across the room a thing of the past?By the end of the girl's roundtable, I told my girlfriends that I would never say never, but it's something that I have to think very hard about.  I love the classic tale of seeing someone across the room and you just know.  Me personally, I'd rather see them in person first to make that determination, but that's just me...  

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