THE BLOG

A Breakup Letter to Worry

06/25/2014 10:33 am ET | Updated Aug 25, 2014

Dear Worry,

We need to talk.

Let's face it; things are just not working between you and me any more.

Lately, I've been thinking. Maybe it's time we call it quits, consciously uncouple, and go our separate ways.

You're suffocating me.

In the morning, I'm not even fully awake, and there you are, whispering in my ear. We brush our teeth together, take showers together. We go to work together, we come home together, have dinner together. Even when I'm on vacation, sipping a pina colada on the beach, thinking you stayed home, I look and there you are hiding behind a palm tree. When I go to bed, that's when you really pipe up, as I lie there, imprisoned by your "what-ifs."

You're a liar.

I'm tired of listening to you, Worry, because frankly, you're a liar. You tell me things are going to go disastrously if I don't say or do the exact right thing, if I don't obsess over all possible bad scenarios and scramble to head them off. You say I should avoid taking chances because I will fail, and failing is akin to death. You say showing vulnerability is horrible, that relaxing with things as they are is dangerous. Now I am starting to realize, what you say simply isn't true.

It doesn't add up.

I now see through your mind games, Worry, just like I see through those flashy commercials that treat life as though it were a mathematical equation:

Bigger house + Cars + Gadgets2 = Happiness.

Running around like a maniac = Importance

Fear + Hoarding = Security

I've done the math, Worry, and sorry, it's not adding up. What you say just doesn't fly with me any longer.

Here's the real deal.

I've done some investigating and found that the world is a very big place with a lot of people, living all kinds of lives. I've noticed that those who seem the happiest, whether rich or poor, are those who don't get into bed with you and let you under their skin.

Failure is preparation for success. Mistakes are not the end of the world; they teach you how to begin a new one. Taking chances and getting in over your head will bring you the people and lessons you value the most, and help you see what's real and what's not.

Life is not certain. No matter how hard I try to pin it down like you demand, it never works.
Sometimes there are no answers. Sometimes you just have to ride things out until the right answer comes. The right answer will come eventually if you keep working hard and be on the lookout for clues. Life is amazing like that.

Those who are brave enough to be their best selves are the most free.

It's like what Zen Poet Wu-Men says:

"If your mind isn't clouded by unnecessary things
This is the best season of your life.

Hasta La Vista, Baby

So, Worry, it's over between us. Kaput. Finito. Sayonara and arigato Mr. Roboto. I found a new BFF. Her name is Faith. When I make a mistake, she doesn't freak out and tell me to run for the hills. She just encourages me to try something different. She tells me to stay open to life instead of clamming up. Be quiet for a while. Get in touch with your inner wisdom, the voice inside your head that is kind. She tells me to stop texting for a sec and really taste my food, listen to those I love, stare at a flower that just bloomed, feel the summer air on my skin.

"The best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present." -Thich Nhat Hanh

"But you need me." Worry said.

Nope. I really don't need the drama. Take your handwringing and moping with you.

I've got some living to do.

I'm bouncing.