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Daliah Merzaban

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Dilemmas of a Muslim Shopper

Posted: 01/29/2012 8:45 am

Over the past couple of weeks my sister was in town and, along with my mom, we spent a good deal of time in shopping malls, taking advantage of discounts during a seasonal sale. Having lost a few pounds in the past couple of months and after starting a new job in December, I had no qualms about treating myself to some new clothes, shoes and accessories. Like many women, I find buying new items quite gratifying.

This is especially so because in the past two to three years, I managed to work toward having financial freedom for the first time. I can now afford to buy nice things for myself and my loved ones while sustaining a comfortable standard of living, building my rainy-day savings and giving charity more generously than I used to.

Reaching this stage took a great deal of hard work and patience. Growing up, money was often too tight to warrant excessive spending on material goods. My mom taught me and my sisters to steer clear of living beyond our means, and to find a balance between spending wisely and being generous while avoiding stinginess. Apart from the mortgage we took for our family home, I've never incurred debts. This meant I had to stay away from elaborate electronics and fancy fashion labels, as well as opt to work rather than pursue a Master's degree I couldn't afford.

Quite naturally, with my newfound financial freedom, I do splurge a bit more than I used to. This has been rewarding not least because I know that it is due to my own hard work and sacrifice that I found myself at this stage.

And yet, there I was with a few bags of new possessions and I couldn't help but feel guilty and, as much as I loath to admit it, greedy. While that isn't an adjective I would generally use to describe myself, there are moments when I become so focussed on self-fulfilment that it is difficult to decipher what I really need from what I buy/consume/collect out of sheer indulgence. It is so easy to fall into the trap of consumerism and spend wastefully on things we do not really need, an idea that is known in Arabic as Israf.

Living in Islam, which refers to a state of mind where the believer surrenders to God, places a great deal of responsibility on our shoulders over how we handle our finances. We are called upon as Muslims to avoid extravagance, promote welfare and encourage fairness in our families and communities. As with all aspects of life, this is accomplished through moderation, with God instructing us in the Quran to "be neither miserly, nor so open-handed that you suffer reproach and become destitute." (17:29)

Just one look at my closet teeming with clothes makes me realise how tough it is to strike the right balance. While the wealth we accumulate is a grace from God, it is also a test to see how we will manage, distribute and respect it. The more I earn, the more I am willing to spend to improve the quality of my life because I regard the wealth in my possession as a sign of God's mercy. Yet it is crucial to always be aware that it is up to us to ensure that we set boundaries that we do not cross.

Giving charity regularly is one way to keep the balance in check. Charity, one of the pillars of being a Muslim, is mentioned in the Quran often in the same breath as prayer. Each time I read the Quran I become conscious that the responsibility of giving alms is much greater than simply offering zakat, the obligatory act of giving 2.5 percent of our savings to those less fortunate, one time each year.

Charity is preceded by the word "regular" in virtually all references in the Holy Book, which defines a righteous person as one who "practices regular prayer and gives regular charity". Since as Muslims we pray five times a day, surely charity should be something we incorporate in our everyday lives rather than relegate to once a year, knowing that what we give will be replenished in material and spiritual ways.


"Be mindful of God as best you can; and listen and obey; and spend in charity: it is for your own good. Those who guard themselves against their own greed will surely prosper. If you give a good loan to God, He will multiply it for you and forgive you for God is appreciative and forbearing."
(Quran 65: 16-17)

When I read the above excerpt, the idea of "guarding myself against my own greed" resonates quite powerfully. It is a human tendency to revert to selfishness, which necessitates that we be aware of how and on what we are spending our money. Following my shopping spree last week, I went to bed with a sense of greediness eating away at me. I resolved to donate charity in the morning.

Once we have the intention to give alms, it becomes very easy to find opportunities to give, whether it be through established charities online or to those in need in our communities. I decided to dedicate at least a third of what I had spent on my new possessions to different charitable causes, and that helped offset the sting of self-indulgence. My hope is that I'll reach the stage where treating myself to something - whether it be clothing, a new car, a vacation - triggers a simultaneous sense of obligation to pass on a generous portion of the blessings I have to others as well.

"The true servants of the Gracious One are those who walk upon the earth with humility and when they are addressed by the ignorant ones, their response is 'peace' ... They are those who are neither extravagant nor niggardly, but keep a balance between the two."
(Quran 25:67)

 

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Over the past couple of weeks my sister was in town and, along with my mom, we spent a good deal of time in shopping malls, taking advantage of discounts during a seasonal sale. Having lost a few poun...
Over the past couple of weeks my sister was in town and, along with my mom, we spent a good deal of time in shopping malls, taking advantage of discounts during a seasonal sale. Having lost a few poun...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bob Metcalfe
Caught at 1st. slip trying to cut
12:24 AM on 02/01/2012
'avoid extravagance, promote welfare and encourage fairness in our families and communities'

Someone should tell the Saudi royal family :-).
08:24 PM on 01/31/2012
I think if you want to help your fellow muslims there is a charity mykiva.org you make loans to your fellow muslims and sadoqa to non muslims alike. Basically you lend as little as 25 dollars up to your desired amount towards some one's cause. They pay back the loan little by little you get credits return. You have two choices either withdraw the money eventually or just put it towards some one else. This idea was based off noble peace prize Mohammed Yusuf (banker to the poor) maybe you can blog about that
02:42 PM on 02/04/2012
I like Kiva very much. Your initial loan of $25, $50, or more is, in a sense, recycled as one person pays it back, you can then loan again to another person.
12:00 PM on 01/31/2012
"The more I earn, the more I am willing to spend to improve the quality of my life because I regard the wealth in my possession as a sign of God's mercy."

Wealth is not a sign of God's mercy. Think of all of the mentions in the Qur'an about wives and children and wealth are just tests from God, upon believers and non-believers alike. Being wealthy is completely unrelated to your piety, nor is it a mercy. It is another test, and I'm happy that you have at least taken the right step towards charity. Insh'Allah, God will make the path easier for you.
04:59 PM on 01/30/2012
I'm surprised on all the positive comments, Its good to know people can still open their hearts and learn from others.
02:43 PM on 01/30/2012
"God instructing us in the Quran to "be neither miserly, nor so open-handed that you suffer reproach and become destitute."
Do you need god to instruct you about obvious common sense?
04:48 AM on 01/31/2012
Couldn't agree more my friend.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
raker
02:25 PM on 01/30/2012
Do what we Catholics do: When we've had all we can take of having every ounce of joy sucked from our lives by an oppressive church that relies on a constant awareness of guilt and regret to keep us humbly compliant, we leave. HUGE improvement. I recommend it.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bokhattak
Novelist, Muslim, Nerd.
01:10 PM on 01/30/2012
Salaam alaikum, sister Daliah and thank you for the wonderful article. I've often struggled with the same/similar feelings of being "out of balance". The analogy that makes sense for me is driving. On my daily commute to work, I drive my 30 miles per hour per the speed limit. Sometimes, I find myself driving down a hill and accelerating a few extra mphs. In those moments, I remind myself of the intention to give just the right amount and self-correct.

With spending, charity and many other things in life, I believe it's the same. When buying a new pair of pants, for example, I find it beneficial to donate an older pair of pants (of course a pair that are in good condition) to a shelter. I think that when the symmetry between consuming and giving is maintained, then you can almost become a conduit of that charitable spirit. Obviously, I don't always have an equivalent item to donate, but sometimes another item or cash donations can supply the same equilibrium.

I think we should not feel guilty for our successes as they are earned, but we must always keep perspective of what we must give back to maintain balance, insh'allah.
11:17 AM on 01/30/2012
well good for you........laughing
11:16 AM on 01/30/2012
Your awesome!! I wish everyone had your insight and attitude!
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LuisD
It's a wonder what you'll find with an open mind
10:16 AM on 01/30/2012
I don't see what's wrong with consumption as long as it is within your means and represents a reasonable portion of your income. (i.e. maintaining a generous portion for charity, etc.)

The religious notion that owning goods is somehow evil makes no rational sense. Often, it feels as though people give to charity to alleviate their religiously-imposed feelings of guilt. In this sense, the charity isn't "genuine" but artificially motivated by guilt. It's like Christians who go to confession to make themselves feel better. You can do whatever horrible thing you want, but it's A-OK because you can confess it all away and it'll be all right.

I'm certainly not saying this applies to every religious person... but it does apply to some, and that's bad enough as it is. For me, it's yet another indication of how religion poisons the mind.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
arachne646
No more hurting people--Peace
02:12 PM on 01/30/2012
Don't you think that there is such a thing as greed at some point? Certainly you can get so involved with your shopping or possessing things that it displaces things like family, friends, time to read, and other more important things, not just your spirituality. Guilt doesn't do any good, though. It usually is something that is more apt to keep you from doing anything than from doing good.

It's not owning goods that is bad (although some people derive great peace from simplifying), it's when your goods own you.
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LuisD
It's a wonder what you'll find with an open mind
05:20 PM on 01/30/2012
First of all, I don't believe in the concept of "spirituality". When someone can demonstrate that souls and spirits exist, then we'll deal with that.

I agree that greed can be a detrimental thing. I just don't agree that purchasing objects automatically amounts to greed. Consumption only becomes greed when you compromise other aspects of your life (or the lives of others) in the pursuit of possessions.

If you have the means to buy lots of stuff without negatively affecting your life or anybody else's, then why not? Go for it. It isn't greedy and it certainly isn't wrong.

The whole "your goods own you" thing is something I can agree with, but let's be careful how we apply it. It isn't about how much you own or how expensive the things you own are, it's about how much they mean to you. If my house burned down, my list of things absolutely worth saving amounts to: 1. my family members and 2. my cat. Everything else is expendable.

How much money you have or how many things you buy is irrelevant. It's about how you value the possessions once you have them that matters, in my opinion.
12:34 PM on 01/31/2012
There's nothing evil in Islam about being rich or having material goods. Rather, the religion instead emphasizes that these things are fleeting and impermanent- therefore you should care more about things such as family, friends, God, and those who are less fortunate (hence, give in charity so that they can survive). Basically, care about more than yourself.
09:54 AM on 01/30/2012
How beautiful. More of this, please. Thank you, Daliah Merzaban. We need to understand perspectives of Islam differing from what we see and hear on the news each day. Bless you.
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05:02 AM on 01/30/2012
Truly heartbreaking article. Stay strong, Ms. Merzaban.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mama Bee
10:44 AM on 01/30/2012
Not heartbreaking at all. The article is inspiring.
02:15 AM on 01/30/2012
great article
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Xacomo
Hate is a burden to those who bear it.
12:17 AM on 01/30/2012
Wonderful article! Good insight. Thank you.
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truthupontruth
Grateful for every atom, photon and second
12:17 AM on 01/30/2012
Wonderful article, bringing the act of consumption into normal Islamic behaviour. Balance is achieved through personal reflection, and it is up to the individual to take the decision to control one's finances and prioritize appropriately - it's different for everyone. I have resolved to spend less, yet today my wife and i went out and spent around $500 between Costco, the grocery store and the butcher (and the samosa shop!!) I have a family to take care of, and we occasionally stock up the freezer. Do I feel bad about this level of con$umption? No, it was the first time I had been to Costco since maybe September.
A note about credit cards - they are an excellent tool for establishing regular charity. Also, Muslims are judged by our intentions, and if we willingly pay our taxes in order to help others, that act becomes a blessing for us.
11:19 AM on 01/30/2012
laughing.......whatever makes you feel better about yourself
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truthupontruth
Grateful for every atom, photon and second
01:10 AM on 02/01/2012
You got that right -it's all about me. I'll take reason-based faith over endless pointless conjecture every day of the week.