Rickey Henderson's Hall of Fame Induction Speech

Rickey would like to thank the Hall of Fame for making a bronze statue of Rickey. Rickey looks dapper in bronze. Rickey looks even better in a uniform and neon-green Mizuno batting gloves. Would anybody like to hire Rickey?

Rickey can run. Not could run. Can run. Rickey keeps himself in "Rickey Shape" by lifting bases over Rickey's head and chanting "Rickey's The Greatest Of All Time."

When Rickey played for the A's, Rickey's teammates used performance enhancing drugs that made them almost as good as Rickey. If Rickey took those drugs, you'd get "Super-Rickey." "Super-Rickey" is too good and it wouldn't be fair for everyone who's not Rickey.

Rickey was a great a teammate. Just ask that guy who played second base when Rickey was in Oakland. He wasn't as good as Rickey, but Rickey got paid a lot more, so Rickey didn't mind. Rickey doesn't remember his name.

Or ask that guy who always wore a helmet. Or both of them. Rickey played with two guys who always wore helmets. Don't know if they know each other, but they both love Rickey.

People used to say "Rickey's being Rickey." That is true. Rickey was Rickey when slid into home-plate after hitting a home run. Rickey was Rickey when he got frostbite in August. And Rickey was Rickey when he was Rickey being Rickey. But Rickey does not understand why this was a controversy. Who else would Rickey be when he's being Rickey?

Here are some people who Rickey is not:

Dave Henderson

Mike Gallego

Richard Pryor

Peter Gammons

Everybody else who ain't Rickey. Rickey does not recall their names.

There's only one Rickey. Rickey broke Lou Brock's record. Ty Cobb's record. Babe Ruth's record. Rickey knows their names because Rickey is better than them. Rickey is the greatest of all time.

Now if you'll excuse me, Rickey needs to go stand naked in front of a mirror and say, "Rickey's the best." Because Rickey is the best.

Comments

[WilliePilgrim]

Amusing...but you forgot to mention how Ricky was actually more about stealing bases.
Never the less, are we ready to put professional sports onto a shelf reserved for kids and mentally challenged adults? We ought to, but then what would we watch on the News?

[RobinSeattle]

Rickey is everywhere, but Michael J. Fox has no Rickey in him.

[yappnmutt]

you are right and so is ricky.

[The Albany Kid]

I love the story about how Rickey phone the Boston manager at the time and said "Yeah, this is Rickey, calling on behalf of Ricky".

[OneAngryDwarf]

So how is the HOF going to make a bust of Rickey that actually conveys that "talking about myself in the third person" feel that only Rickey can do? There are few players in baseball history that should be remembered more for their antics than for their play.

1. Cobb - Complete A-hole
2. Ruth - Nobody did excess like The Babe, his habits would make Amy Winehouse look clean and sober
3. Rickey - Practically invented talking about yourself in the third person

Oh yeah and they could all play at a very high level, despite their character flaws.

[ballsmuch]

There should be be a movie based on Ricky Henderson's life. The title should "Nobody Loves Rickey Quite Like Rickey". Rickey would talk about himself for two hours. The movie would be party comedy, mystery, drama, and science fiction rolled in one.

[bootstrap bill]

You sure you could limit him to just two hours?

[ballsmuch]

There should be be a movie based on Ricky Henderson's life. The title should "Everybody Loves Rickey...Including Rickey"

[drumz]

Close but you spelled his name wrong. I think what would be more appropriate is Everybody loves Rickey...Especially Rickey.

Above all this is the fact that he could back it up. He is in the top 5 of all-time greatest players in the history of the game. When I lived in the Bay Area I had the pleasure of seeing 3 of the best ever, Barry Bonds, Willie Mays and Rickey Henderson.

[grailknight]

Of those three, the only one I ever did or would pay cash money to see was Willie Mays.

[bootstrap bill]

Totally agree, especially about him fitting into the top 5 players all time, and not just top 50 leadoff hitters. He doesn't get as much credit because he didn't hit a gazillion career home runs, but when he was in his prime, he could dominate a ballgame like no other. He was the kind of all-around weapon that comes along only once in a lifetime.

[bootstrap bill]

An excellent article that illustrates just how dangerous Henderson was: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/14/sports/baseball/14rickey.html?_r=1&ref=baseball