05/31/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

So A-Rod Juiced in High School? Didn't We All?

According to a new book, Alex Rodriguez took steroids while in high school. Big whoop. The book also mentions that his Yankee teammates called him "Bitch Tits" in the locker room: a reference to his steroid induced, rounded man-breasts. (Side note: deciphering "B---h T--s," as it was printed in the articles I read, was like playing the best game of Wheel of Fortune ever.)

But Alex Rodriguez should not be vilified for this. Didn't we all take steroids in high school?

I know I did. When I was on the JV basketball team, I needed to do everything I could to keep my slot as 3rd string backup point guard. The odds were against me, what with identical twins Michael and Anthony Cascione ahead of me on the depth chart. Not only were they great players, but they had the same genetic material - it just wasn't fair. I needed that extra edge.

And I got it. Let's just say that the 10 points I scored all year weren't just the result of practice and natural ability.

As a high school juicer, being called "Bitch Tits" is something I can relate to. Every high schooler who took steroids was called "Bitch Tits" at some point. It was like a rite of passage. We bonded over it. Kind of like how kids named Gary bonded over having the name of an unmarried 40-year-old who keeps organizing trips to Vegas. (Weird that I just described every Gary you know, right?)

A-Rod knew what he was doing, and if anything, high school is the best time to start artificially building muscles. That way, you fool them from the start. If he started midway through his career, we all would've noticed something. Red flags would've been thrown. But if you've always been the jacked guy with feminine looking breasts and shrunken testicles then nobody's the wiser.

Imagine if I just started taking steroids now. The guys at the neighborhood park would be onto me. "Wow, you really stepped it up during that last game of HORSE," they'd say. "...Bitch Tits." It'd be so embarrassing.

So lay off A-Rod. He did what he had to do. Plus, all his friends are doing it, mom.