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Occupy Wall Street: A Bloomberg-Kelly Musical

10/02/2011 05:30 pm ET | Updated Dec 02, 2011

New York City seems to be in the midst of some difficulty, a convulsion that may ultimately change the local political scene. The management, of course, is Mayor Bloomberg and police chief Ray Kelly. The musical Occupy Wall Street will open soon on Broadway. But for those Have-Nots who can't afford tickets, here's a peek at rehearsals:

(Overture: Eight bars from West Side Story)

B: What's going on down there?
K: They're occupying Wall Street.
B: Who is?
K: I don't know. Looks like a bunch of kids.
B: Kids? On Wall Street? Wall Street is no place for kids. Get them off the street, for heaven's sake.
K: How, Mr. Mayor?
M: I don't know how. That's your job, isn't it? Don't you have a spray for Wall Street? Lock them up, for heaven's sake. Do something!

{Eight bars from New York, New York)

B: What's going on? Why the hell are we in the newspapers spraying kids in the face?
K: Every kid has a cellphone with a camera.
B: It's my city, damn it! Get them off the street! Take the cameras away! Arrest them! Do something! It's Wall Street, isn't it?
K: Yes, Mr. Mayor, it's Wall Street.
B: Well, do something. That's where my money comes from!

(Eight bars from Hair)

K: They're on the bridge, Mr. Mayor.
B: Who is? What bridge?
K: The kids. Occupy Wall Street. They're on the Brooklyn Bridge.
B: Brooklyn Bridge? What the hell is this? It's my city, isn't it? Get them off that bridge!
K: How, Mr. Mayor?
B: Arrest them, for heaven's sake. Arrest all of them on the bridge. It's my bridge!
K: There's maybe five hundred on the bridge, Mr. Mayor. Do we arrest all of them?
B: Five hundred? What is this? It's a f*****g revolution! Get the SWAT teams. I don't care if you have to use bazookas. If that doesn't work I'm calling in the National Guard. Brooklyn Bridge? It's my city, isn't it? Think of it as Bloomberg Bridge. Get them the hell off that bridge!

(Eight bars from Chorus Line)