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Dana Agmon

Dana Agmon

Posted: May 10, 2010 03:31 PM

Do It for Us

What's Your Reaction:

My four-year-old daughter, Sophie, and my almost two-year-old Maximus have a negotiated relationship. Sophie, who still hasn't forgotten the days of her individual independence, likes to take whatever Maximus is using at any given moment. This includes toys she doesn't use, and those that were never hers. To defuse the situation, I taught her to give him another toy, one that fits his age and that he knows is his. Alternatively, I suggested she share the toy and teach him how to play together. Watching their tit-for-tat interaction over toys crystallized the sad fact that when it comes to Israel-Palestine, this same childish exchange is costing the lives and livelihood of countless citizens.

Tit-for-tat has never been a productive strategy to deal with conflict resolution. It works only as part of an official negotiation process, where it is practiced to solve problems -- not create them. The continual pre-conditions put forth by both sides are exactly the details that need to be discussed in formal negotiations. Instead of making demands, isn't it better to discuss the options? These conditions are used by those who seek to stall an agreement and to promise constituencies the unattainable. In reality, the peace agreement is 95% done; it is the hard issues that both sides shy away from that we need to talk about.

Israel and the Palestinian Authority are well aware of the necessary compromises and potential solution for each one of the core issues: refugees, Jerusalem, and settlements. Yet both governments use those issues to make pie-in-the-sky promises to the public. A campaign of Palestinians holding the key to their old houses in the current territory of Israel is as unproductive as some Israeli organizations stating their goal is to maintain a unified Jerusalem under Israel. These uncompromising statements are making the expectations of Israelis and Palestinians impossible to achieve, turning any arrangements and concessions in a peace agreement harder for officials to sign and for the public to accept. It also allows for fake negotiations where these issues become breaking points in any talks again and again. So let's get serious here.

Before the signing of the Declaration of Principles (Sept. 13, 1993), the Palestinian Liberation Organization did not recognize Israel's right to exist, nor did Israel accept the right of Palestinians for self-determination. It is only after more than two years of secret and not-so-secret talks between the two sides that these understandings were established. Today, we are still fighting battles for recognition, when it should be clear from our own historical experience, that the only way to achieve any understandings is through agreements; just as we found two decades ago, we will find that lasting solutions are only attained through negotiations with those we still consider our adversaries.

So please, Mr. Abbas and Mr. Erekat, don't stall anymore. And Mr. Netanyahu, stop insisting that our counterparts recognize Israel as the Jewish homeland. Sit down for the sake of your people and make a real effort to build consensus around compromises that are viable solutions. Don't sit for show. Don't do it for the US, the EU, the Arab league or anyone else. Do it for us.

We teach our children how to exchange, negotiate, and most of all, share. Why can't we practice what is so commonplace among our children?

 

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03:34 PM on 05/11/2010
Hamas?
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Ira7
02:55 PM on 05/11/2010
Can your next article be about the real world, please?

I appreciate the sentiments expressed, and HOW they were expressed, but let's be realistic.

It's going to take a major disaster for there to be peace, like aliens landing and attacking us, to bring the two sides together.
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Dana Agmon
12:08 PM on 05/12/2010
I agree that it will take something major, but not necessarily a disaster. it could be a change of administration in israel for example. and i am not talking about coming together in peace and love either - I am very aware of the years of failure and bad blood. all i am talking about is real negotiations. and no i do not expect Netanyahu to do so, but I had to put it out there - because frankly, this is not an unsolvable conflict, it is only has been such a failure due to self-interest based decisions in the past decade.
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01:28 PM on 05/12/2010
An alien landing would solve so much, it really would. I've often thought that. If only we had a common enemy that was real.
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Marcus047
inter arma enim silent leges
01:33 PM on 05/11/2010
I agree with you on all points. The problem of course is Hamas, which controls Gaza, and doesn't recognize Israel, and doesn't get along with PLO/Fatah. What to do?
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FairuzGhowar
01:43 PM on 05/11/2010
New elections will get rid of Hamas now what about the other problem which is of course the violent racist settlers
??
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Marcus047
inter arma enim silent leges
01:50 PM on 05/11/2010
Really? New elections will do this? And when exactly will these new elections take place? I'll be shocked if Hamas even allows elections, let alone abides by them. And even if forced out of office, will that stop them from attacking Israel? Who would take responsibility for their actions and aprehending them if a peace agreement was reached? Would Fatah do it? Israel? Egypt? The UN?
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Dana Agmon
12:28 PM on 05/12/2010
Hi Marcus. The problem is Hamas in Gaza, but in all honesty I think we need to take what we get and sit down with the administration in the West Bank and negotiate an agreement with them first. this will empower the palestinians in the West bank, strengthen the PLO/Fatah for the next elections and will marginalize Hamas.
I realize this is not ideal at all, but right now it is the window of opportunity that we have, and it is the only thing that will achieve some success and provide a state for the palestinians, while marginalizing and proving Hamas ineffective.
11:55 AM on 05/11/2010
UK Jewish MP gives his honest opinion on the Palestinian's plight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMGuYjt6CP8&feature=related
10:26 AM on 05/11/2010
Here's a song by Outlandish that describes the plight of the Palestinians:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTYPwHzboR8
10:57 AM on 05/11/2010
Another beautiful song by Micheal Heart who is from LA. He is an awesome artist. This song is about the current Israeli crimes in Gaza.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlfhoU66s4Y
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10:21 AM on 05/11/2010
"In reality, the peace agreement is 95% done; it is the hard issues that both sides shy away from that we need to talk about." Yes, and the only really "hard issue" that needs to be addressed is the fact that neither side truly wants peace, because if they did they would already have it.

It is naive to suggest that more talks will solve anything. If you've been paying attention to the history of the region for the last five decades or so, you'll realize that every issue that can be talked about has been discussed ad nauseum.

In suggesting talks you are presuming that both sides actually want peace, which is clearly not the case.
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Dana Agmon
01:06 PM on 05/12/2010
I think there is a deeply rooted problem in the way we look at the willingness of either side for peace. You are talking about the last decade of unwillingness of both the Israeli government and the Palestinian Authority to negotiate or to broker peace. I am talking from the people's stand-point.

I am sorry you feel like you have to insult my knowledge, I am well aware of history. Unfortunately, history is not always reflective of the present. most of these issues have been discussed with Arafat, under very different conditions given the situation in the west bank vis-a-vis the situation in Gaza. They were also in the midst of continual violent struggle whether it was IDF operations, or suicide bombings. There is a US administration that is not dormant and unresponsive to the situation - even if they made some serious mistakes....

finally, I know it is easy to be disillusioned and say no one wants it and so screw it (excuse my french!), and while I understand these views, as an Israeli, I cannot afford the luxury of apathy. If we let depression get the best of us, the region will be in a much more dire state. It is exactly because despair is so omnipresent these days that we need to put pressure on the two sides to negotiate. otherwise, it will be too late. and no one wants to see a third wave of violence.
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01:26 PM on 05/12/2010
Apathy and depression are very different from realism. No peace process takes decades, and that's all I was saying. I'm sorry you feel I did insult your knowledge (is it even possible to "insult knowledge?" I doubt it) because in reading over my comment I saw nothing of the sort and I know I felt nothing of the sort. The "you" that I was referring to was a generalized you, and not you particularly. Touchy much?

Again, if either side truly wanted peace they would have it now. I say this from the perspective a student of history who does not have a dog in the fight.
10:20 AM on 05/11/2010
How can you ask the oppressed to give up more and more of their rights???
How can you ask the Palestinians to stop being abused and jailed on a systematic basis?
How can you ask the occupied to stop being occupied?
How can you ask the Palestinians to stop bulldozing their home?
How can you ask Palestinian children to stop being shot at while walking to school?
How can you ask the victim to recognize the victimizer right to abuse and to kill?

The point is, Israel hold all the cards, they need to act like a civilized human being and stop their racist ideologies.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Json
Cynical dreamer, sarcastic idealist...
11:53 AM on 05/11/2010
Can you ask the terrorist to stop shooting rockets at schools?
Can you ask the suicide bomber to not blow up a restaurant?

These are the only concessions the Israelis want. Security.
Is it that unreasonable?
12:00 PM on 05/11/2010
I won't respond by being a condescending jerk so my answer to your post is: HAVE A HEART!
12:09 PM on 05/11/2010
Since I love music so much I will dedicate this song to you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnYz0yW0OCA
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JustMeInNY
Live and Learn.
12:04 PM on 05/11/2010
**How can you ask the oppressed to give up more and more of their rights???**

The ONLY reason that you think of them as oppressed is because you aren't capable of seeing the full picture. If the Gazans didn't want to be under the control of another, they'd follow suit of the West Bank, an area and people that are thriving.

**How can you ask the occupied to stop being occupied?**

The Palestinians are occupying the Disputed Territories. It is my sincere hope, that via this upcoming negotiations, Israel will offer Gaza and West Bank to the Palestinians in exchange for a promise to denounce all terrorism and the recognition of the Israel.

**How can you ask the Palestinians to stop bulldozing their home?**

Palestinians should not be squatting in properties that aren't theirs.

I snipped the rest of the soapbox drama, precisely for what it is :).
01:13 PM on 05/11/2010
A Racist will always be a RACIST!
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04:04 AM on 05/11/2010
I admire your stance, but I just don't think it's going to happen. I don't see the political will in Israel for such a change. For some time, I've thought that the two state solution was dead, confirmed by more authoritative commentators by far like Juan Cole and John Mearsheimer. What lies ahead is truly the product of a hateful momentum, the apartheid state. It's not a matter of stalling. Israel just will not, perhaps cannot, do what is in its best interest- a true two state solution.
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Dana Agmon
01:26 PM on 05/12/2010
The will is changing in Israel thanks exactly to the administration we have now - a shameful trio of idiots to be exact. Think of Israel's politics right now as Bush's second term. it is SO bad and we are close to hitting rock bottom. it will change.
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02:25 PM on 05/12/2010
I appreciate your optimism, and definitely hope that you are right. Thanks for your work.
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Refugees
03:25 AM on 05/11/2010
Geared toward future for our children and families, it need to promotes much needed dialogue and offers a chance to change the course of history, toward a better place to live for our kid's not for us, frightening reality is more behind the easing of tension for both side has to deal.
01:47 AM on 05/11/2010
The Palestinians are completely powerless.
Their fate lies solely with Israel, and its financial and military backer the United States

Currently the Palestinians are split into 2 political factions. Hamas, centered in Gaza, has chosen to fight back. Fatah, centered in the West Bank and Jerusalem choose to be submissive.

Neither tactic is working. Newly annexed land is taken from the submissive Fatah on a regular basis. On the other hand, uncooperative Hamas keeps their land but has many killed and must endure a blockade.

The key to the conflict has always been the United States which blindly supports the Israelis. There's nothing really the Palestinians can do to effect the outcome. I'm not even really sure the Israelis have much say in it at the end of the day. They are our proxy and do what we want them to do with few exceptions. Their gov't would fold quite quickly without USA's subsidies. Obama in keeping with tradition, officially opposes the Palestinians declaring a state and offers an unconditional veto over any and all UN resolutions sanctioning Israel. So there seems to be little possibility of positive movement on the issue
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JustMeInNY
Live and Learn.
12:06 PM on 05/11/2010
well that's certainly one way to bend the truth...
05:54 PM on 05/11/2010
Care to explain what part you disagree with?
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courtb
10:34 PM on 05/10/2010
Dana, thank you so much for all the work you and OneVoice have been doing for the Palestinians and Israelis. It is upsetting, as a young woman, to look at the leaders on both sides and see children squabbling. I keep hoping that when my generation grows into leadership positions, that things will be different and peace will actually become a reality.
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Dana Agmon
01:55 PM on 05/12/2010
Thank You! it is nice to hear some kind words. I would love to know where you are from and other information, maybe you can join us in our efforts! Dana.
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courtb
02:44 PM on 05/12/2010
OneVoice first came to my campus when I was president of my Israel Advocacy organization. Since then, I've interacted with them a bit in the UK while working for a Jewish student org over there. I applied for a few different jobs but while told my resume would be kept on file, I wasn't qualified enough (heartbreaking because I love what OneVoice stands for). I'm about to start grad school in London in the fall for a masters in nationalism and ethnic conflict. I would love to get more involved with OneVoice Europe while back in the UK.
06:11 PM on 05/10/2010
Mrs Agmon should consider ME realities. Thanks to Obama, they are showing their true colors and they feel conforted in their victory. What they want is to submit Jews to Muslim apartheid as they did during 13 centuries and to destroy Israel:

Knesset Member Masud Ganaim (United Arab List-Ta'al) believes "an Islamic caliphate should be established and it should include Israel." In an interview to Nazareth-based paper Kul al-Arab, Ganaim presented his opinion of the situation at the end of his first year in Knesset.

"I believe there is an urgent need to return to the Islamic caliphate. I believe this is the most fitting solution to the state of weakness, deterioration and erosion the Arabs and Muslims are suffering from," Ganaim said when asked if, as a devout Muslim, he believes an Islamic regime should be established in "Palestine or the Arab and Islamic homeland."

He said, "We are not necessarily talking about Israel here, but I believe an Islamic caliphate would be in the interest of the Jews themselves, since their golden era was under this caliphate."
http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3887468,00.html

Mrs Agmon, do it for us, try understand the real ME and the real Arabs who mean what they say.
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08:11 PM on 05/10/2010
Such rhetoric is insane and those Arabs need to realize that it would just create a more violent Israel (as you prove). However, the Caliphate was the Golden Age of the Arabs so there is a lot of reasons why they would want to return to it. I'm sure the British still talk about having their Empire, the Turks still lament the loss of Ottoman glory, and Macedonians tell their children of Alexander the Great.
08:17 PM on 05/10/2010
This Arab is saying what think lots of Arabs, especially those who support Hamas.
10:47 AM on 05/11/2010
"the Caliphate was the Golden Age of the Arabs"

Just a little more reading here might be in order. LOL
05:43 PM on 05/10/2010
Mrs Agmon, Oslo was based on your thinking and was a bloody failure. Can you explain us why? Because if no lessons are drawn of Oslo failure, there is no reason to get a different outcome: a terror state at war with Israel.
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08:12 PM on 05/10/2010
Um, wasn't it one of us (Jew) that screwed that one up?
08:16 PM on 05/10/2010
That's wrong. Arabs never wanted peace with Israel. Creating fictions will not change this reality.
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Dana Agmon
01:14 PM on 05/12/2010
While based on this thinking, it never actually got to a final two-state agreement, which is problem no. 1
It was also signed at a different time - there is calm in the west bank, and gaza has been harshly subdued. the conditions on the ground have changed.
It was signed during the years where peace and love seemed plausible and expectations from this agreement were nothing short of attaining a loving, cooperative relationship that will flourish and change the world. This is no longer the case, and talks about an agreement are much more sober, allowing expectations to remain moderate and - barring any false promises - achievable.

and generally speaking - making broad sweeping statements about Arabs or Jews is racist, unproductive and only puts us in the same box with those we really do need to stand against.
04:45 PM on 05/10/2010
We all know what it should end up with : the 78/22 split. What could anyone benefit by waiting any longer ?
Land counts more than any money offer.
We also aknowledge that both Palestine and Israel like to claim the whole 100% of the former Bristish Mandate of Palestine as theirs, but that will not happen since the 2 populations live on the land and cannot tolerate each other -unless one of the 2 parties decides to exterminate or expell the other one, and takes the risk of being severely prosecuted-. Since these 2 populations don't get along, it should have been originally a 50-50 split. Unfortunately, the Palestinans were not so organized to win any war so they would have to renounce 28% of land. Israel has the upper hand, but more than half of the Jews live outside of Israel, in other surroundings, and have a say in the future of Israel. Would the split not be accepted, then that would signal the creation of a bi-national state, whether or not the parties accept it, even if one will be temporarily oppressed. It is time for the parties involved to decide.
The time has come when letting 2 groups fight forever in a sandbox, just costs too much for the rest of us. Time-out, in type of sanctions, might be under way.
06:18 PM on 05/10/2010
The British Mandate of Palestine included what is now called "Jordan". Jordan consisted of more than 70% of The Palestine Mandate and was set aside as an Arab country with a Palestinian majority.
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08:44 PM on 05/10/2010
How is it that one could say the Palestinians, who were backed by the no less than 5 Arab militaries (Syria, Egypt, Lebanon, Jordan, Iraq, though I think Saudi sent some too), were "not so organized to win a war" against a rural militia?

It doesn't change the fact that I support you're conclusion, but trying to change history is a bad precedent.
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eileenflemingWAWA
http://www.wearewideawake.org/
04:23 PM on 05/10/2010
WHEN America becomes an honest broker for Peace in the so called holy land-which requires Justice, which equates to equal human rights and honoring international law, there can be fruitful negotiations that lead to compromise.

But leaders must be led and so, people of conscience have responded to Palestinian civil societies call to BDS Israel until they change their bad behavior.

Money is the currency with the loudest voice and "Hey Elton" on You Tube, cover's more than a few of Elton John's songs-it tells him WHY he should not play Tel Aviv on June 17, 2010 and this article defines nine categories that make up the necessary, sufficient, and defining characteristics of apartheid regimes:

http://arabisto.com/article/Blogs/Eileen_Fleming/Hey_Elton_Dont_Go_Breaking_Our_Hearts/59982