10 Things I Learned (Or Unlearned) From Having Kids

Having kids is a life-changing experience. For those of you who are about to embark on the wild adventure of parenting, or are thinking about it, here are the top 10 things I've learned (and unlearned) since becoming a father.

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1) Sleep? What's That, Again?

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My first son never slept in our bed with us, but for the first six months of his life I would wake up nearly every night, yanking all the sheets up, having dreamed that somehow he was stuck and suffocating under the covers. Those traumatic nights are past, only to be replaced by uninvited visitors making their way into the room whenever the urge strikes them. Nudge. "Daddy, get up!" Groan.

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My first son never slept in our bed with us, but for the first six months of his life I would wake up nearly every night, yanking all the sheets up, having dreamed that somehow he was stuck and suffocating under the covers. Those traumatic nights are past, only to be replaced by uninvited visitors making their way into the room whenever the urge strikes them. Nudge. "Daddy, get up!" Groan.

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Dana H. Glazer is the award-winning director of the feature-length documentary film, "The Evolution of Dad." To learn more about the film, please visit www.evolutionofdad.com.

 

Comments

[KLMwrites]

10:33 AM on 10/02/2010

#11. They grow. It's easy to love those cute children, but be prepared for not-so-cute teenage hell. The kids are just as remarkable, incredible, and fill your heart with joy, but often with the accompanying clenched fists, broken hearts, and eye rolls. For better and worse applies to parenting as well. It's all good, actually, it's all absolutely amazing and fabulous, but that said, a whole helluva lot of work.
http://returntoworkmom.blogspot.com/

[oldschooldemocrat]

03:12 PM on 08/11/2010

I applaud anyone sensible enough not to have children who doesn't really want them, and I don't think you must have children to have a happy and socially productive life, but this is what I learned when I had children. Until you have children, your world view remains a bit limited. You see the world only from the perspective of a former child and never really from the perspective of a parent. Among other things that means there are things about your own parents and your own family relationships that you'll never quite get. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it is a significant difference.

[eleanorhawking]

12:17 PM on 08/11/2010

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body". ...... Elizabeth Stone

You sound like a great Dad. Peace and blessings to you and your child/children.

[alliSINwonderland]

12:14 PM on 08/10/2010

Being a parent fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty.

[Bethab]

11:30 AM on 08/11/2010

Gosh...here I am walking around with an "empty place" in my heart and I had no idea! That sounds dangerous...I guess I need to get down to having a kid right away!!

[eleanorhawking]

12:27 PM on 08/11/2010

Maybe not. It's a huge responsibility. There's nothing like it, and then... there's nothing like it.

[kansasrefugee]

10:28 AM on 08/10/2010

Great post.

[thereselee]

03:06 PM on 08/09/2010

Is this supposed make me WANT to have kids? Nice try.

[Karana White]

06:23 PM on 08/31/2010

I dnt recall the author of this post saying "for all those people who don't want to have children...you should change your mind" He was just sharing his experience with people who have children or those who are about to "embark on the parenting adventure"

[Pippen]

12:56 PM on 08/09/2010

When do parents lose their ability to assess whether or not the snotty screaming child throwing a temper tantrum and picking food off other patrons plate is behavior that can be and should be ignored ?

I've seen my own sisters ignore bad behavior and we were raised in the same environment. Discipline was akin to reporting to the head of the third Reich. Violations were met with swift and embarrassing violence both immediately and later. There were consequences to bad behavior.

Today, I don't see any consequences, I dont see parents "Parenting", I see kids gone wild.

Cute ? yeah for about 30 min followed by deeply pyschotic episodes of self destruction and war.

I don't have children of my own, not entirely my choice but I was disciplined enough to not bring a life into the world unless that world had sufficient maternal and financial support. However, I have spent many days watching my nieces and nephews and the neighbor kids grow up.

Some follow the path of destruction and embrace the darkside, but others though they started out bound for federal prison are now upstanding hard working family parents with great character and dedication. Hard to tell the difference when they are young. Most who went on to be people of character had discipline in their lives, military, sports, mentors, or tough love. The others were left to sprawl about making mistakes without the concept of consequences.

[Pierogi kid]

03:40 PM on 08/09/2010

you must spend time around a lot of crappy parents as I do not see this as the norm at all

[Karana White]

06:25 PM on 08/31/2010

Sometimes its good to ignore children when they have tantrums....btw do you have children pippen? because if you do, then you should know all about toddlers and how they get when they want what they want and NOW

[CoastalNC]

12:38 PM on 08/09/2010

Loved this article...so true, so true....

[eric2420]

03:41 AM on 08/09/2010

Dana - Great article and quite interesting. I would like to respectfully challenge your position that kids are how they are due to an 80% influence of genetic factors. You use the example of your child not having an "indoor voice" as a genetic similarity to you but many would argue that a lack of an indoor voice is something that is learned by being around you and your behavior rather than something that is inherited genetically. For example - If you had suddenly lost the ability to speak on your child's birth date and could only communicate in non verbal ways, the child would probably not have the indoor voice issue that they have. What other examples led you to believe that we are who we are mostly due to genetics alone?

[UhOh1]

10:47 PM on 08/08/2010

love it!

[Wood]

09:21 PM on 08/08/2010

Great post.. ;)

[joefoss]

08:57 PM on 08/08/2010

I know it sounds sappy, but it's true:
"Love is the only thing you have more of, the more you give it away."

[ArtsyJane]

08:31 PM on 08/08/2010

We got a puppy a few months ago and I feel exactly the same.

[Bethab]

11:29 AM on 08/11/2010

Fanned!

[Karana White]

06:26 PM on 08/31/2010

that's great for you, but a puppy is NOTHING like a child

[monpetitesweet]

05:45 PM on 08/08/2010

That was a great post. My son just hit twelve years and grew 5 inches in one year. It all but broke my heart. He is now taller than me and wears a much bigger shoe. I people say "It all goes by in the blink of an eye". Enjoy your young sons, it is indeed a very special time and one you will look back on with fond memories. The hardest thing about being a parent is watching them grow up.

[CoastalNC]

12:42 PM on 08/09/2010

I had one child, a boy. My pet name for him was "baby duck"...when he turned 16 and informed me that he was not a baby duck it broke my heart. Now he is a Dad of 2 little ones, I think he understands now and what a wonderful Dad he is. Enjoy your children while you can, it truly does fly by before you know it and it is gone.

[Karana White]

06:27 PM on 08/31/2010

"enjoy your young sons" why must it be gender specific monpetitesweet? I understand that you have a son, but everyone else doesn't so I think it would be fitting to say "enjoy your young children"