Tatum O'Neal: Telling the Truth
I emailed Tatum O'Neal not long after I heard she was busted for drugs in New York City. I didn't know what to say other than: "Hang in there. Nobody's perfect."
I have her email because I've interviewed her three times since 1990 - most recently for the New York Times last year.
The movie she won an Oscar for in 1974, Paper Moon, is my favorite film. The character she played, Addie Loggins, resonated with me -- so I've followed her career ever since.
Paper Moon was an unsentimental little movie about an orphan-turned-con artist who was a tenacious survivor. Articles about Tatum over the years, including those written by me, have chronicled what a victim she was in childhood -- and what a survivor she seemed to be.
Tatum told Andrea Peyser of the New York Post today that she was "saved" by the cops who arrested her and that, thanks to them, she narrowly missed a relapsecaused by sadness over the recent death of her dog.
Do I believe that? All I can say is, Addie Loggins would approve. She knew how to get out of a tight spot.
Tatum O'Neal was the first person I ever interviewed for a magazine. I flew from New York to Malibu in 1990 to talk to her for the now-defunct Fame magazine when she was married to John McEnroe and her two sons were little.
When I first met her at her beach house, she tried to be friendly. But I could see a tension and unhappiness -- as if she was a rubber band pulled too tight by life.
What I remember most from that 1990 interview was Tatum's determination not to be like her mother, the '50s B-movie starlet Joanna Moore, who was an alcoholic and drug addict and lost custody of Tatum when she was little.
Tatum told me she wanted to be a great mother and do everything the opposite of what had been done to her. At the time, I think she was achieving that. Her little boys were running around in baseball caps and seemed very happy.
I also remember a beautiful portrait of her mother in a large silver frame in the bedroom she shared with McEnroe.
The next time I interviewed Tatum was in 2002 for Premiere magazine at Brasserie 8 1/2 in New York City. She'd just been in a small movie.
She was coming off a bad divorce from McEnroe and had lost custody of her three kids because of drug problems. She later spilled everything in her 2004 book, one of the bleakest Hollywood memoirs ever.
People criticize her for being self-pitying, and that may be so, but she seemed in real pain. She was just raw. She didn't hide it, apologize for it, or try to charm me. She didn't have it in her.
That's why she was so good in Paper Moon, which was a love story about a con man and a little girl who may or may not be his daughter.
In the movie, she got very tough and pissed off when she was hurt and disappointed. In real life, she's the same way.
When I interviewed her last year at a restaurant in SoHo not far from where she lives and where she got arrested, she still had that edge to her -- even though she'd put together her first real comeback since she was a kid -- in some decent TV shows and more small movies.
None of it would ever match her early triumph -- but for a once washed-up actress of 43 it was impressive.
So that's the story I wrote -- and again it paralleled the gritty Addie Pray in Paper Moon.
I'm not so sure about her drug problem and recovery efforts. But in her case, it seems less about addiction than the scary lure of public self-destruction. If she just wanted to do drugs, she didn't have to buy them on the street.
I'm sure it's horrible for her kids and no one is going to admire her for what she's done. She'll get hammered.
But there it is.
There's no sugarcoating the life of Tatum O'Neal and there's no happy ending. Yet. But she always makes for a colorful story.
I'm still rooting for her. Just because she seems all too human to me. And she made one really great movie.
I like her for her flaws. She hasn't got it all figured out and when she acts out -- as she did Sunday night going to buy cocaine -- it's as if she's resolutely telling the truth about her life in a way my articles, and others, never do.
Nobody's perfect.
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All drugs should be legalized.
That would be the TRULY conservative approach. Parents should actually talk to their children and be encouraged to really be a major part of their lives, not expect schools and other institutions to raise their kids for them.
The novelty would wear off, druggies would be diminished to be the losers they really are, and our youth would become even more resilient and stronger and know not to take the temptation to allow themselves to be less then what they were meant to be.
We could save the multi-Billions we trash on this fake drug war, stop spending billions keeping alive & locking people up who could actually be productive members of society. We'd no longer give drug dealers and their ilk such lucrative lifestyles that are wrongly notorietized.
Wonder how long till this level of intelligence actually reaches our segment of civilization and history.
My advice for Tatum, as for all celebrities in recovery, is to STOP TALKING ABOUT IT TO THE PRESS! It is none of our business, so when questions come up, merely say: "It's personal, no comment".
I agree with other posters who pointed out that you will probably not receive the same sentence as those less attractive, less famous, less financially secure, etc...
Lastly, Tatum, yes of course we are all pulling for you, but please no more ridiculous idiotic emberassing statements like: "I bought it but I didn't use it!". or "I was sad about my dog."
Those are beneath you. Just a simple: "No comment" would suffice.
Ms. Kennedy- Please forward a message to Ms. O'Neal and tell her that many of her fans are out here pulling for her. I know support means everything to someone in her situation. Thank you for an amazingly kind and compassionate article.
People still don't get the disease of addiction. I named my blog Urban Addiction because I love all things Urban (even though I'm a girl from the burbs) and I was born into a family riddled with addiction. I myself am not an addict but I've loved many addicts and I'm sure Tatum's children love her. As she struggles, I wish her all the best and yes I know anything can trigger an addict and I personally believe her when she says she is glad she was caught. Someone did for her what she couldn't do for herself and that may have saved her life.
So she had a crappy childhood. And then she gave her own children a crappy childhood. Nice job!
And now, as a washed up has-been who really never was, she goes out in public to "self-destruct" yet again. If she *really* wanted to self destruct, she could have done it in private. But there is no such thing as bad publicity, right?
She has had multiple chances and doesn't seem quite bright enough to learn. This is an egregiously self-centered person.
Disclaimer: I was walking down the street when I saw someone verbally attacked by Ms. O'Neal for her own amusement (I guess - it's the only reason I can think of to harass a total stranger for doing nothing but walking down the street) and that of the hangers-on dancing attendance on her. I was astounded. The person was shocked and embarrassed and hurried away while O'Neal preened herself and her fluttery coterie hesitantly laughed. One of them should have slugged her one and told her to behave like a grown up.
It's the little things like that that really tell a person's character. I'm not sure someone like her is worth "saving."
i am glad you don't know how addiction works but urge you to try and understand how much drugs have a hold over an addict. you would not be so biting in your critique
Verbally attacking someone for their own amusement sounds like addict behavior to me. I used to do some really sad, destructive and socially unacceptable things when I was in the midst of my active addiction. Fortunately, I found Narcotics Anonymous and now have four years and eight months clean from cocaine and crystal methamphetamine. I thank God every day that I have one more day of clean time.
I pray Tatum surrenders to her higher power and finds her sanity and serenity. It was a big failure of my imagination to realize, not just material things, but the eternal things that come with surrendering to your higher power. I truly believe I now have things that will never leave me. The things that can be forever ours are things like honesty, open-mindedness, willingness and self integrity. Those eternal things don't come over night, but I would have never found them outside of recovery. The material things will eventually leave us because all we truly do is borrow them while we are here.
I understand Tatum DID have a very tough childhood with a narcissistic father and drug addict mother. I, for one, understand what its like to have a semi-famous parent who was successful, but never reached their own personal level or definition of success. I wouldn't want to be the one who judges her without walking in her shoes. Its offensive to me when I hear things like "so and so had a bad childhood.
It is clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have absolutely no clue what you're talking about when it comes to people afflicted with the disease of addiction.
"I'm not sure someone like her is worth "saving.""
I'M sure someone like you is NOT worth knowing.
Drug abuse and death. Two of life's most striking equalizers. Even if treatment and punishment isn't the same for all, the way it affects your life and those around you...with or without money, drug abuse is a monster. No matter who you ultimately are!
Tatum O'Neal was caught with both powder cocaine AND crack cocaine on her person by an undercover police officer. If a no-name minority was caught with the same substances, they would be put in prison for a mandatory sentence, as much as 20 years with no parole. Will cute, pretty, white woman Tatum O'Neal receive the same sentence? Hardly. This article just proves it with all its fawning over cute little Tatum, with comments like "Hang in there", and "I'm still rooting for her" and "she seems all too human to me" and "I like her for her flaws" and "Nobody's perfect".
I wonder if you'd apply the same sentiment to a fat, old, minority crackhead living in the projects on the south side of Chicago? No, probably not. Too gross for you, right?
Cute little Tatum. What a cutie!!!
Another testament for legalization. Thank you.
Treatment, not prison, FOR ALL!!
The point you make about favoritism is valid, but the aim should be to reduce the penalties for crack and powdered cocaine to the same level - a much lower level. Why would someone hate Tatum O'Neal just because she happens to be white and attractive? The justice system is at fault for draconian penalties; O'Neal is not putting poor people and minorities in jail as a result of her actions. People are put in jail because it is more politically expedient than trying to change people's lives and attempting to increase the opportunities they could have for recovery.
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