I must admit that I've been guilty of looking at the airbrushed beauties on the popular magazines -- you know the women that seem to have the world, looks and happiness. I'd consider what I'd have to cut from my diet in order to look like "that" girl. My thoughts always going something like, "Maybe I need to eat salad all day, and skip out on anything that has the word 'carb' in it?"
It's an odd sensation when everyone around you seems to be so focused on the unrealistic goal of the cover girl. All around me, my friends and I were caught on being focused on time spent exercising, and eating various diet foods. If you think that trainers are immune to the diet bug, you're wrong. I was completely surrounded by trainers and clients who wanted the latest and greatest "diet" pill that would help them burn through their fat. As I sat back, feeling the storm raging in my head, I realized that we were all just "hangry" -- which translates to "hungry + angry" -- because of all the carb depleting, diet pill taking and diet food eating. Everyone was trying to look like the cover girl, but we weren't getting what we actually wanted -- happiness.
I wanted to be the girl on the magazine with a twinkle in her eye and share exactly how to have long lean legs, beautiful radiant skin and a smile that was glowing from the inside out, without compromising my inner light and truth or living deprived. I knew in order to live a life free from "hangry," I needed to find the formula to beauty that didn't require deprivation.
For me, that was deciding to live diet-free! No more buying in to the belief that diet pills were the answer and spending my hard-earned money on the quick fix that didn't fix a thing -- or limiting my calories so my head was in a fog and I couldn't spend present quality time with those I love.
I started digging into medical journals and studying nutrition in a new way. Way different from my nutrition degree in college. I was starting to uncover truths about foods and how powerful marketing is. It's so powerful we believe if food says "fat-free" or "low fat," it must be healthy for us. We think that even though the artificial sweetener we put in our morning coffee is loaded with ingredients we cannot even pronounce, it is healthy since it contains no calories.
We even believe that losing weight is what will make us happy. So happy we're willing to sacrifice our energy by under-eating or loading it with artificial diet pills and practices.
Even after eight years of studying, I knew no one would believe me if I didn't show them through me and through hundreds of others who were willing to follow a clean-eating plan showing how food actually heals you, increases your energy and can add more of a "glow" than any product you can buy at Nordstrom.
God, Source, Universe (however you want to say it), has a powerful way of letting you share your truth and message in a profound way, by giving you experiences -- good or bad, hard or easy.
I was studying, learning and training clients on choosing the "right" foods and exercising, when I was hit with my real-life experience. I was pregnant with my second child, a little boy. I would lie in bed imagining what it would be like to hold him, play trucks with him or even dig in the dirt. I imagined dressing him in the little cowboy boots I bought for him from the high-end baby store. God had a different plan and my little boy passed away while I was at the hospital, anxious to meet and hold him.
My positive, healthy mind and body turned to mush. The next three months, I barely left my home. I had no desire to get out, let alone work out. I was the farthest I had ever been in body, spirit and soul from the girl on the cover of the magazine.
I remember the day my mind said, "Get out and walk. Go for a walk." It was a back-and-forth war in my head and the longest it has ever taken me to tie my laces. I started walking around my block. My legs were just as heavy as my heart. But with each step, my heart tore at the seams. Tears began to flow. Each step was a step closer to healing my heart. With each walk, I was beginning to heal. I started eating foods that were pure, just like my heart wanted to be pure. I started to eat for energy, so that the bricks on my feet could be released. Healing food became my medicine. As I ate for health, zest, energy, purity and happiness, I found that not only was my soul healing, but my body was transforming as well.
No dieting, no counting calories, no beating myself up on the elliptical or treadmill. Just feeding and moving for love, purity, self-acceptance and for energy. I am happy to say, I have been the girl on the cover of the magazine since -- sharing the secrets of eating for love and hope! I am living a life sharing my passion and mission of eating for zest, love and energy and can honestly look myself in the mirror and say, "I am happy inside and out!"