Three weeks ago, I met with a therapist for the first time in my life. I'm a very happy guy -- great family, great job, great girlfriend, tons of Facebook friends -- no problems that a glass of scotch couldn't fix. But ever since the beginning of September, I've gone 100% batshit crazy. Why? Because come next year, John McCain and Sarah Palin might be running this country. I can't concentrate at work. I can't hold a normal conversation about anything besides politics. At night, I'm afraid to go to sleep because I know that Sarah Palin is waiting for me in Dreamland, like Freddy Krueger but dumber and more evil.
I was hoping the therapist would listen to me lay out this situation, nod sagely, and hand me a bucket full of pills with a creepy name like "Uplift" or "Happiness 4000." But what he told me, surprisingly, was "Get more involved."
"Haven't you been listening, you dumb shit?" I thought as I smiled and asked him to elaborate. But what he said made sense: by getting more involved, I'd spend more time talking with like-minded, highly capable people. I'd feel like I was helping Obama directly. And I'd have less time to be furious at Steve Schmidt.
So I got more involved. I made phone calls to voters in my hometown in Pennsylvania. I donated. I signed up to canvass in Nevada. I set up a fundraising page on Obama's website with two friends. We set an ambitious goal of $10,000. After two weeks of bugging and pleading with our friends, family, co-workers, and bosses, we had raised $26,000.
But as satisfying as all those things are, I'm still crazy. And the more I think about it, the more I think that everyone should be crazy. Consider all the meaningless shit that we become obsessed about -- ex-girlfriends, neighbors' dogs, celebrities' vaginas -- and now think about this: a 72-year old liar with anger problems might become the most powerful person in the world. And if he dies, he'd be replaced by a babbling, evolution-doubting, Supreme-Court-case-not-knowing woman whose knowledge about the world comes from a 3-week cram session. This deserves one month of your obsession.
Think about how proud you would be to have Barack Obama as your President. How proud you'd be that you're an American. If John McCain wins after what we've been through these last eight years, we'd be telling the entire world that we're perfectly content with being hated and ridiculed. We'd be Pam Anderson who dumps Tommy Lee, complains about wanting to find a nice guy, and starts dating Kid Rock.
The contrast between Obama and McCain could not be greater. This is like choosing between an orgasm and a punch in the throat. The fact this is a close race is a terrifying outrage, and every single person should be doing everything they can about it. Stop clicking refresh on Mark Halperin's The Page. Go knock on some doors. Make some phone calls. Make a donation. Recruit your friends. You only have to do it for a month. This shit makes a difference, and with the country in such a bad way, the stakes could not be higher. If you aren't going crazy, there's something wrong with you.