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Chat with FlyChopper
6:10 p.m
Kickass43: yo bolty
Kickass43: headin 2 tha mess?
Kickass43: texmex day!!
Kickass43: cd go 4 dat chx tortilla
Kickass43: nada sour cream
Kickass43: guac on tha side
Kickass43: xtra salsa
Kickass43: odools w/lime
Auto-reply: Josh Bolten is away from his computer.
Chat with BigBartlett
6:11 p.m.
Kickass43: danny boy!!
BigBartlett: Yes, Mr. President?
Kickass43: u c boltass?
BigBartlett: He's in his office, sir.
Kickass43: got his frikkin away msg
BigBartlett: He's there, sir.
BigBartlett: His door's open.
BigBartlett: I can see his shoe.
Kickass43: I need im on IM
BigBartlett: Perhaps he's on the phone.
Kickass43: PRONTO
BigBartlett: Is there something I could help you with, sir?
Kickass43: neg
BigBartlett: I'll go tell him.
BigBartlett: "Be right back" Mr. President.
Chat with BigBartlett
6:14 p.m.
BigBartlett: Mr. President?
Kickass43: wers boltass?
BigBartlett: He is on the phone, sir.
Kickass43: did u tell im I need im PRONTO?
BigBartlett: No, sir.
Kickass43: ?!
Kickass43: >:-[
BigBartlett: I'm sorry, sir.
BigBartlett: He waved me away.
BigBartlett: He pointed to the phone and mouthed "Russert."
BigBartlett: At least I think it was "Russert."
BigBartlett: I suppose it could also have been "Russians."
BigBartlett: He's taken a lot on his plate, sir.
Kickass43: o man
Kickass43: dissis sooo messd up
BigBartlett: What is messed up, Mr. President?
Kickass43: dis!!
Kickass43: im like THA. PREZ.
Kickass43: my plates full2!
Kickass43: acshully its MT
Kickass43: dats tha prob
Kickass43: I cant get boltass 2 do nuffin!!
BigBartlett: I don't think you mean that, sir.
BigBartlett: Josh is doing a lot.
BigBartlett: He's working flat out around the clock.
BigBartlett: Last night he was here until past midnight...
BigBartlett: and when I pulled in the lot at dawn this morning...
BigBartlett: his motorcycle was already there.
Kickass43: yeh well hes got US wrkin flat out
Kickass43: don't like it
Kickass43: look @ tha TIME!
BigBartlett: It's just past six, sir.
Kickass43: xactamundo
Kickass43: wen hav u knon me 2 b here past 6??
Kickass43: shd b upstarz
Kickass43: kickin bak
Kickass43: flippin on tha game
Kickass43: but noo
Kickass43: im still @ my frikkin desk
Kickass43: tryin 2 make frikkin sensa dis 5 pt "recvry plan"
BigBartlett: It looks very promising, Mr. President.
Kickass43: I KNO recvry plans dano
Kickass43: theyr ushully 10 steps
Kickass43: not "5 pts"
Kickass43: & they=1 thang
BigBartlett: What's that, sir?
Kickass43: NO. FUN.
Chat with HMiersWHC
6:23 p.m.
Block Decline/Accept
HMiersWHC: Mr. President!
HMiersWHC: You're still in the office?
HMiersWHC: :-)
Kickass43: hey harry
Kickass43: chattin w/dano
Kickass43: l8r?
HMiersWHC: Of course, sir.
HMiersWHC: I was just following up on our "Italy" discussions.
Kickass43: no newz
Kickass43: workin on it
HMiersWHC: Thank you, Mr. President.
HMiersWHC: I know how much you care.
HMiersWHC: BTW, I'm headed down to the mess.
HMiersWHC: Can I bring you up anything?
Kickass43: no thanx harry
Kickass43: wuz hopin boltass wd do it...
HMiersWHC has gone offline.
Chat with BigBartlett
6:25 p.m.
BigBartlett: Are you still there, sir?
Kickass43: had 2 deal w/harry
Kickass43: u c wat im sayin
Kickass43: I jus MENSHUN boltass & shes offline
Kickass43: we wer all so happy wit andy
Kickass43: a clos happy famly
BigBartlett: I can understand why Harriet's emotional, sir.
BigBartlett: This past week has been difficult for her.
BigBartlett: Not as difficult as other weeks, of course.
BigBartlett: But difficult. I feel we've let her down again.
Kickass43: ?
BigBartlett: I'm doing everything within my power to track down the source...
BigBartlett: of those unfavorable stories about her.
BigBartlett: It saddens me that there could be someone...
BigBartlett: in the executive branch...
BigBartlett: who would, for lack of a better word...
BigBartlett: "trash" her behind her back.
BigBartlett: It must be remembered...
BigBartlett: after all is said and done...
BigBartlett: she was our top choice for the Supreme Court.
Kickass43: im tryin 2 4get dat
Kickass43: but wat u mean "trash"?
BigBartlett: Perhaps you didn't see the stories, Mr. President.
BigBartlett: I certainly didn't put them on your desk.
BigBartlett: They quoted "White House sources"as saying...
BigBartlett: that Josh wanted to get rid of her...
BigBartlett: because she was "incompetent."
BigBartlett: Nasty stuff.
Kickass43: lol
BigBartlett: Excuse me, sir?
Kickass43: chk ur sorces dano!
Kickass43: dem wuz HARRY
Kickass43: she wuz leakin 2 tha press!
BigBartlett: I'm not following you, Mr. President.
Kickass43: HARRY. Wuz. Tha. Sorce.
BigBartlett: I still don't understand, sir.
Kickass43: cant buhleev I hav 2 spell dis out
Kickass43: harry wantz 2 leave
Kickass43: like real bad
Kickass43: aftr tha scotus mess
Kickass43: we offrd her all kindza junk
Kickass43: rnc shit
Kickass43: cirkut jujships
Kickass43: but she don't like nun of it
Kickass43: she's like, "Aftr all my yrs of servis, mr. prezident...
Kickass43: id like sumthin a littl bigr...
Kickass43: sumthin mor FUN"
Kickass43: so im like wat
Kickass43: (cuz tween u & me dano dis gurl knos nuffin bout partyin)
Kickass43: & she's like "italy."
Kickass43: im like: :-O
Kickass43: 4 a sec im thinkin: harry & my bud sylvio?!?!
Kickass43: like how longs dat ben goin on?
Kickass43: she cs my face
Kickass43: & she gets it
Kickass43: shes like omg
Kickass43: "not dat sir!"
Kickass43: "I wuz talkin bout tha embassy!"
BigBartlett: Harriet Miers wants to be the U.S. Ambassador to Italy?
Kickass43: bingo
BigBartlett: But, sir--correct me if I'm wrong--she doesn't speak Italian?
Kickass43: duh
Kickass43: she knew shit bout constitushunl law
Kickass43: but dat didn't stop her from wantin scotus
BigBartlett: Mr. President, I share your admiration for Harriet in every way.
BigBartlett: But I think at this point it will be difficult to give her the Italian embassy.
Kickass43: dubbl duh
Kickass43: U try tellin harry dat
Kickass43: "meek ms miers"
Kickass43: standin tween her & an appt she wants
Kickass43: is like standin tween bill clinton & a shrt rib
Kickass43: ive jus been puttin her off
Kickass43: tellin her 2 lay low
Kickass43: b quiet
Kickass43: till tha blood stops runnin thru tha hallz
Kickass43: wen boltasses raina terror is ovr
Kickass43: & dude...
Kickass43: it IS a raina terror
Kickass43: despit tha XOXOXO press
Kickass43: ud think no 1 els evr workd hard here!
BigBartlett: You know you're exaggerating, Mr. President.
BigBartlett: We all welcome the change.
BigBartlett: You made the right decision, sir.
BigBartlett: Josh will have this place back on track in no time.
Kickass43: o rite
Kickass43: tell dat 2 scotty
Kickass43: man he wuz in my office all mornin
Kickass43: boo-hooing
Kickass43: "josh & I wer best buds"
Kickass43: "watd I do rong?"
Kickass43: waaaaah
BigBartlett: If you don't mind me saying so frankly, sir...
BigBartlett: it was just that kind of display of emotional weakness...
BigBartlett: that made him vulnerable to the press.
Kickass43: o sure dano
Kickass43: I kno
Kickass43: scotty wuznt evn sport 4 dem wolves
Kickass43: he wuz like one of cheney's big fat huntin birds
Kickass43: evry mornin we'd cut tha chain & blam!
Kickass43: scotty'd fall down ded
Kickass43: then theyd piss all ovr tha corpse
Kickass43: but josh pissd all ovr im 2
Kickass43: jus don't think it wuz rite
Kickass43: firin im like dat
Kickass43: blam!
BigBartlett: Josh cares deeply about your message, sir.
Kickass43: look!
Kickass43: hes evn gotu suckin up!
Kickass43: & ur suckin up 2 im 2 me!
Kickass43: like hes not evn ONLINE
BigBartlett: I'm just trying to persuade you that he's going to make things better for you, Mr. President.
BigBartlett: For all of us.
BigBartlett: And for the American people.
Kickass43: he sure aint makin thangs bttr 4 wonderboy
Kickass43: he blammd karl pretty gd 2
Kickass43: gotta move his family fotos 2 tha broom closet cross tha hall...
Kickass43: make way 4 boltass' evl henchman
BigBartlett: You're referring to Joel Kaplan, sir?
Kickass43: yeh
Kickass43: "igor"
BigBartlett: He served in the Marines, sir.
Kickass43: rite!
Kickass43: scares tha livin shit outta me!
Kickass43: hangs round boltass like sum big fart
Kickass43: quiet but dedly
BigBartlett: I hope you don't mind me saying that I think you're taking this too hard, sir.
BigBartlett: It's been a very stressful time for all of us.
BigBartlett: But now we can look forward...
BigBartlett: to a more hopeful future...
BigBartlett: One in which your legacy will be recognized...
BigBartlett: and rewarded, in '06 and again in'08.
Kickass43: k but if u find me ded
Kickass43: bhind my desk
Kickass43: im NOT depressd, k??
Kickass43: I hav NO suicidl tendencys
Kickass43: K??
BigBartlett: Ha ha, Mr. President.
Kickass43: ditto 4 dick...
Kickass43: & rummy
BigBartlett: You're not seriously worried--are you, sir?
Kickass43: well kinda dano
Kickass43: thangs hav bin bad 4 so long...
Kickass43: cant buhleev they'll go rite agen
Kickass43: evn wit "mr. shake-up"
Kickass43: look @ tha chineez prez
Kickass43: I mean cd dat hav gon wrse?
BigBartlett: You mean the protestor who disrupted the press conference?
Kickass43: keep goin
BigBartlett: You mean when you grabbed the President by the sleeve and yanked him...
BigBartlett: which is considered a huge sign of disrespect by the Chinese?
Kickass43: keep goin
BigBartlett: You mean when the Vice-President fell asleep during your meeting?
Kickass43: keep goin
BigBartlett: I'm stumped, sir.
BigBartlett: Overall, I thought it went well.
Kickass43: dats cuz u didn't see boltass meet tha prez!
BigBartlett: Why, what happened, sir?
Kickass43: he's like soooo kewl
Kickass43: he's like "wen I wuz in china dis"
Kickass43; "wen I wuz in china dat"
Kickass43: bo derek motorbikes yadda yadda
Kickass43: tryin 2 impres tha dude
Kickass43: then he like gos on dis riff bout grub
Kickass43: cuz he knos tha chineez eat weird shit
Kickass43: theyr like cajuns
Kickass43: "we'll eat it b4 it eats us"
Kickass43: so r bud Hu is like rollin his eys
Kickass43: (cept its hard 2 tell w/tha chineez kno wat im sayin)
Kickass43: boltass gos on & on
Kickass43: like sum "foodie"
Kickass43: "I spechlly like c urchin"
Kickass43: shit like dat
Kickass43: THEN he gos "but tha best--tha VRY best--"
Kickass43: (insert lip likkin here)
Kickass43: "is da OFFLS."
Kickass43: "Dyu like em 2 Mr. President?"
Kickass43: tha translatur is like, um, I dunno how 2 say dat word
Kickass43: boltass startz gesturin
Kickass43: like wildly
Kickass43: "u kno: ORGANS"
Kickass43: hes like poundin on his hart
Kickass43: rippin at his side
Kickass43: "LIVR. KIDNY."
Kickass43: hu's ttlly puzzld
Kickass43: translaturs lookin pissd
Kickass43: fnlly he sez sumpin in chineez
Kickass43: hu now looks ttlly pissd
Kickass43: & like turnz his bak on boltass
BigBartlett: That is unfortunate, Mr. President.
BigBartlett: I'm sure Josh had just forgotten about the controversy...
BigBartlett: of the Chinese' blackmarket for human organs, sir.
BigBartlett: It's not that he didn't know about it.
Kickass43: yeh well thers a lotta stuff he duznt kno
Kickass43: like tha chineezll sell anythang
Kickass43: b4 it sells dem
Kickass43: cloodin spare kidneez
BigBartlett: I just realized something I still don't know, sir.
Kickass43: make it quik
Kickass43: im gna eat my own arm
BigBartlett: You didn't explain why Harriet leaked bad press about herself.
BigBartlett: Or maybe you did, but I still don't understand.
Kickass43: ez
Kickass43: boltass had tha same reacshun u did 2 italy
Kickass43: he's like no. way.
Kickass43: so SHE leakd 2 tha press dat boltass wuz dissin her
Kickass43: made im look bad
Kickass43: a big bully
Kickass43: "poor lttl ms miers"
Kickass43: then he had 2 like take it bak
Kickass43: & he hadn't dunnit!!
Kickass43: shes not gna rest till he givs it 2 her
Kickass43: &like I sed
Kickass43: u don't mess wit dirty harry
Kickass43: not evn boltass
Kickass43: shell jus make his frikkin day
Kickass43: like she made rs
Kickass43: my bet: she gets italy
BigBartlett: I'm sure you're right, sir.
BigBartlett: On a separate note, I'm going to head down to the mess.
BigBartlett: Can I get you something?
Kickass43: :-D
BigBartlett: The usual?
BigBartlett: Extra salsa?
Kickass43: ur tha mano dano
BigBartlett: I just noticed Josh is off the phone.
BigBartlett: Should I tell him to come see you?
Kickass43: nah
Kickass43: aint urjent no mor
Kickass43 has left the chat.
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