The President's Secret IMs: Time 2 Whack Another Bad Ass

Kickass43: yo. Kickass43: condi. Kickass43: hey grrrl. Kickass43: how u like me NOW. SecStateUSA: Good evening, Mr. President.
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Chat with SecStateUSA
9:42 p.m.

Kickass43: yo
Kickass43: condi
Kickass43: hey grrrl
Kickass43: how u like me NOW

SecStateUSA: Good evening, Mr. President.

Kickass43: we ROKD
Kickass43: wuz every1 like *omg*
Kickass43: *hes in irak!!*

SecStateUSA: Yes, sir.
SecStateUSA: Your surprise was successful...
SecStateUSA: As successful as your meeting with Prime Minister Al Maliki.

Kickass43: dat wuz sooo funny!
Kickass43: u shudda seen tha dudes face
Kickass43:hes spectin me on TV
Kickass43: but i come out from bhind a curtain
Kickass43: like dat ol TV show *dissis ur life*
Kickass43: hes like no. way.
Kickass43: & im like hows it goin bud!

SecStateUSA: Your presence in Iraq will go far in boosting the morale of the legitimate government...
SecStateUSA: not to mention the morale of our troops.

Kickass43: yeh
Kickass43: & sho dem da man
Kickass43: who wuppd zarqarwis ass
Kickass43: gotta do dat ovr ther
Kickass43: sho em whos da boss
Kickass43: or they aint gna b respectin u

SecStateUSA: In your brief absence I'm sure you heard the good news about Karl, sir?

Kickass43: :-)
Kickass43: now i can pull wondrboy off tha icelnd dsk
Kickass43: he wuz gettin prtty bord reserchin altrnativ fuels in rekyavik
Kickass43: bout time he got bak 2 savin R ass 4 06

SecStateUSA: I agree, Mr. President.
SecStateUSA: It's been a very tense and difficult couple of years for you, sir.
SecStateUSA: But with these recent events, and your breakthrough policy towards Iran...
SecStateUSA: your hard efforts both here and abroad may finally begin to bear fruit.

Kickass43: u kno u can stop wit dat

SecStateUSA: With what, Mr. President?

Kickass43: mr prez dis
Kickass43: mr prez dat
Kickass43: we're buds
Kickass43: we go way bak
Kickass43: BFFL etc

SecStateUSA: Of course, Mr. President.
SecStateUSA: But so long as I have the honor of serving you and our country...
SecStateUSA: and the interests of transformative democracy around the world...
SecStateUSA: I feel it is best that we observe protocol in all our communications...
SecStateUSA: whether personal or professional.

Kickass43: duz it hurt?

SecStateUSA: Does what hurt, sir?

Kickass43: bein dat grammticl
Kickass43: cuz man it MUS hurt
Kickass43: dats y dudes don't ask u out
Kickass43: they lissen up & think:
Kickass43: whoa!
Kickass43: wat a titeass!

SecStateUSA: With all due respect, Mr. President...

Kickass43: aint sayin u aint HOT
Kickass43: cuz ur SUPA hot
Kickass43: u kno dat
Kickass43: evry1 knos dat
Kickass43: u got tha hole brains n bod thang goin
Kickass43: & u can wrk it
Kickass43: wen u WANT 2

SecStateUSA: I'd appreciate it if we could take some time to discuss your Iran policy, sir.

Kickass43: o yeh
Kickass43: *sigh *

SecStateUSA: I've been sensing that you're still not entirely comfortable with it.

Kickass43: wat choys do I hav?
Kickass43: dont mattr if I dont like it
Kickass43: dont mattr if RUMMY dont like it
Kickass43: dont mattr if DICK dont like it
Kickass43: xept 4 dat little "vctry lap" u lemme hav in irak
Kickass43: im bak here in tha ovl offis
Kickass43: jus sittin in my chair
Kickass43: starin out at tha room
Kickass43: watchin ppl pass thru
Kickass43: answrin ther queshuns
Kickass43: like sum frikkin securty gard
Kickass43: "dat an orijunl remington?"
Kickass43: "yep"
Kickass43: "did jfk use dat desk?"
Kickass43: "yep"
Kickass43: "wers da toilets?"
Kickass43" dwn tha hallway on ur left"

SecStateUSA: That's hardly the case, Mr. President.
SecStateUSA: Everyone has hailed your new approach to Iran as bold and a refreshing change of course.
SecStateUSA: You've proven to your critics at home and abroad that you're open to a diplomatic solution vis a vis the Iranian nuclear threat.
SecStateUSA: The international community needs to know if there is a negotiating option that really has life in it.
SecStateUSA: With your consent, sir, I now have the ability to pursue that option and find out.
SecStateUSA: And for that I'll need time.

Kickass43: zzzzz

SecStateUSA: Mr. President?

Kickass43: o like sry if I *noddd off *
Kickass43: sittin here watchin tha furnitur
Kickass43: wile u go off 2 negoshiat tha free wrlds futur..
Kickass43: & defend us agenst evil
Kickass43: wit ur euro buds

SecStateUSA: I'm not following you, sir.

Kickass43: dats jus wat im sayin c-grl!
Kickass43: u aint followin me!
Kickass43: no1 is!
Kickass43: dis iran stuff wuznt my policy
Kickass43: its UR policy
Kickass43: im jus goin along cuz every1s tellin me 2
Kickass43: evn dick
Kickass43: hes givn up
Kickass43: he jus hangs out @ his crib on tha estrn shor
Kickass43: feedin tha dux
Kickass43: hasn't evn tha hart 2 shoot em no mor
Kickass43: & me...
Kickass43: im jus doin wat boltass & tony tell me 2 do
Kickass43: "go giv a speech on gay marruj--itll rally tha base"
Kickass43: "ok sarj"
Kickass43: "lets revers on illegl immigrashun--gna bite us in nov"
Kickass43: "ok sarj"

SecStateUSA: I beg to differ with you, Mr. President.
SecStateUSA: You are a historic leader governing in historic times.
SecStateUSA: It's natural that you would experience frustration and even despondency during difficult moments in your presidency.
SecStateUSA: If you recall what Winston Churchill said at Harrow, sir...

Kickass43: churchll didn't hav 2 deal w/islamo nutbars...

SecStateUSA: 1941...

Kickass43: dat mamood dudes a whackjob...

SecStateUSA: "These are not dark days; these are great days--the greatest days our country has ever lived..."...

Kickass43: makes hitlr look like sum charlie chaplin moovie...

SecStateUSA: It was also at Harrow, Mr. President, that Churchill said memorably...

Kickass43: y don't we jus tak im out
Kickass43: like we did zarqawi!
Kickass43: MAN dat wuz sweet!!
Kickass43: dat showd im
Kickass43: we dont put up wit badasses

SecStateUSA: "Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

Kickass43: xactamundo
Kickass43: now ur talkin
Kickass43: ur hero churchll wd nvr go tha "negoshiatin opshun"
Kickass43: dat wd b "givin in"
Kickass43: aka "appeezment"
Kickass43: big waste-o-time ...
Kickass43: tryin 2 make a dealio...
Kickass43: witta crzy dude wavin nukes in ur face
Kickass43: lets drop a bunkr bustr on im
Kickass43: quit messin round huntin nukes
Kickass43: sendin lttrs yadda yadda
Kickass43: 1 big bom=1 ded badass
Kickass43: evry1 LUVS a ded badass
Kickass43: frame his badass & put it on TV

SecStateUSA: I fully understand your concerns, Mr. President.
SecStateUSA: That's why we went through all the steps together before you decided on this course.
SecStateUSA: The diplomatic process needs to work now with Iran being given the proposals that the six parties put together in Vienna with Iran recognizing that it now has a path ahead that would allow an end to this impasse, but also that the international community is committed to a second path should that first path not work.

SecStateUSA: In short, sir, let's let the diplomatic path unfold. Then...

Kickass43: we bom im?

SecStateUSA: No...

Kickass43: o I gettit
Kickass43: tha isralees bom im!

SecStateUSA: That would be highly unproductive, Mr. President.

Kickass43: :-(

SecStateUSA: We would return to the table with the six parties and consider another package with different incentives and possibly even sanctions.

Kickass43: cd we put xplosivs in tha pkg?
Kickass43: PLEEZ??

SecStateUSA: Very funny, sir.
SecStateUSA: No, if the Iranians then reject a second package, the next phase would be to express our displeasure.

Kickass43: im shakin condi
Kickass43: u got me scrd shtlss

SecStateUSA: As you know I am reluctant to use that kind of language, Mr. President.
SecStateUSA: But I repeat: I would not hesitate to tell the Iranians, should they block the diplomatic path, that we are displeased.
SecStateUSA: Very displeased.
SecStateUSA: That is why, if you don't mind me saying, sir, that it would be best if you did not announce timetables for the expression of our displeasure.
SecStateUSA: Not while we are attempting to coax the Iranians to the table.

Kickass43: ?

SecStateUSA: Last week, Mr. President.
SecStateUSA: I'm referring to your joint presser with Danish Prime Minister Fogh Rasmussen at Camp David.
SecStateUSA: You suggested the Iranians have "weeks not months" to respond to our offer.

Kickass43: o yeh
Kickass43: foggys a tuff ass
Kickass43: like im

SecStateUSA: I agree, sir, that the Danes are important allies in the war against terror.
SecStateUSA: However if we put pressure, if you will, on the current negotiations through the imposition of deadlines, it could be counter-productive to our stated goals.
SecStateUSA: And if I may add, we should not at this point make mention of any unspecified "consequences" should the Iranian not comply.

Kickass43: u tell dat 2 foggo
Kickass43: dat dudes still supr pissd ovr tha cartoons
Kickass43: u shudda herd wat HE wants 2 do 2 tha frikkin iranians
Kickass43: im like tha one sayin lets keep it 2 "consequenses" 4 now bud

SecStateUSA: A wise move, Mr. President.
SecStateUSA: But in future I think we should be united in our message if diplomacy is to succeed.

Kickass43: gr8
Kickass43: so I'll jus sit here...
Kickass43: greetin state vistrs...
Kickass43: sayin nuffin...
Kickass43: wile u run wit da big boys...
Kickass43: thretenin time-outs...
Kickass43: 2 mass murderin sickopaths
Kickass43: im tellin u grl
Kickass43: IT. AINT. GNA. WRK.
Kickass43: y wont any1 lissen 2 me???

SecStateUSA: We're all extremely attentive, sir, and fully on-board with your decision to pursue the diplomatic option with Iran.
SecStateUSA: It's very popular.
SecStateUSA: Even the New York Times is giving you good press for it!

Kickass43: :-/
Kickass43: wait
Kickass43: wat wuz dat udder churchll quote
Kickass43: "its da ny times dat trys mens souls"
Kickass43: or sumpin

SecStateUSA: You mean Tom Paine, sir...
SecStateUSA: "These are the times that try men's souls."

Kickass43: I like it bttr churchll's way.
Kickass43: ttyl gf

Kickass43 has left the chat.

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