AIM IM with Party_gurl
12:03 p.m.
Party_gurl: daddy!
Kickass43: hey jen
Kickass43: wazzup punkin
Party_gurl: im liek soooo piss'd
Party_gurl: im liek rlly piss'd
Kickass43: ?
Party_gurl: u wdnt believe it
Kickass43: wat
Party_gurl: so OUTRAJUS
Kickass43: uh sweetiepie
Kickass43: ur dad's kinda busy
Kickass43: pls get 2 tha pt
Party_gurl: well liek SORRY
Party_gurl: but summa us have problems 2 K?
Party_gurl: liek im ur baby gurl
Party_gurl: & this is ttlly majr
Kickass43: sry 2 b impashunt
Kickass43: but ive got tha sheik of dubai IMing me
Kickass43: hes super p.o.'d
Party_gurl: not as piss'd as me!!!!!!!!!!!
Party_gurl: look at this bs!
AIM IM with SheikMo
12:08 p.m.
SheikMo: Are you still there your Excellency?
Kickass43: sry ur highness
Kickass43: sumthin droppd on my desk
Kickass43: im here
SheikMo: A thousand pardons Mr. President!
SheikMo: Everyone in the world wants your ear
SheikMo: and yet you only have two.
SheikMo: I was only just saying
SheikMo: that his Excellency your esteemed father
SheikMo: was a true friend...
Kickass43: im ur bud 2 ur highness
SheikMo: Kuwait was magnificent...
Kickass43: I jus need sum time...
SheikMo: It was our pleasure to donate $1 million
SheikMo: to the erection of his library...
SheikMo: and yet so inadequate a gesture
SheikMo: given what he did for our people.
SheikMo: But we do what we can for our friends.
Kickass43: tha family rlly aphreshiatd it
SheikMo: and his Excellency the esteemed President Clinton...
SheikMo: such a true friend also!
SheikMo: To miss an opportunity to blow up that miserable dog Bin Laden
SheikMo: so as not to risk killing any members of our royal families
SheikMo: with whom he may have been falconing at the time.
SheikMo: A true, true friend.
SheikMo: (and "entre nous"
SheikMo: how nobly he endures
SheikMo: that burden God inflicted upon him as a wife!
SheikMo: I have told him numerous times that should he choose to retire
SheikMo: at one of our many five-star world-class luxury resorts
SheikMo: "The Best Golf on the Gulf"
SheikMo: and undergo a small conversion
SheikMo: he could have as many beautiful wives as he chooses!)
SheikMo: Of course you are a great friend of ours as well--
SheikMo: which makes this nasty and unfortunate business over the Dubai Ports
SheikMo: that much more painful...
AIM IM with Party_gurl
12:21 p.m.
Party_gurl: DADDY
Party_gurl: Hel-LO
Party_gurl: liek r u evn lissenin 2 me
Kickass43: hon I don't have time 2 chk dat link
Kickass43: wat duz it say?
Party_gurl: its a SHOW
Party_gurl: bout ME
Party_gurl: "The Miss Education of Jenna Bush"
Party_gurl:
"In the comedy, the President's notoriously rebellious daughter - having just awoken from a blow-out kegger - prepares for her new job teaching fourth graders on the eve of her first day at school. From underage drinking citations and (alleged) pot smoking to America's public school system - 'Miss Jenna' rewrites history with a lesson plan you'll never forget."
Kickass43: gr8 hon!
Kickass43: im proud
Kickass43: u shud b proud
Kickass43: theyr makin a bio of ur life
Kickass43: & accomplismunz
Kickass43: so soon
Party_gurl: did u even READ the f-in thing ?!
Kickass43: yes
Kickass43: let ur ma & me kno wen it airs...
Party_gurl: daddy itsa PLAY
Party_gurl: a COMEDY!!!!!!!!!
Party_gurl: xcept its NOT funny
Party_gurl: gunna play @ Aspen Comedy Festival...
Kickass43 has left this chat.
AIM IM with SheikMo
12:27 p.m.
SheikMo: I seem to have lost your attention again Mr. President...?
Kickass43: no im here
Kickass43: eatin a sandwich
Kickass43: a BIG sandwich
Kickass43: sumtimes gets in tha way of tha screen
SheikMo: Forgive me if I say that you Americans...
SheikMo: do not know how to enjoy the pleasantness...
SheikMo: of a leisurely lunch.
SheikMo: Imagine the leader of the greatest world power...
SheikMo: history has ever known...
SheikMo: eating at his desk!
SheikMo: May I also say that it is bad for the digestion...
SheikMo: to eat in this rushed fashion.
SheikMo: In any case Mr. President...
SheikMo: I was only remarking that...
SheikMo: his Excellency the esteemed President Clinton...
SheikMo: was just in Qatar again...
SheikMo: He is such a favorite of the royal family...
Kickass43: a hero
SheikMo: It is generous of you to describe him as such.
SheikMo: We of course view him the same way.
Kickass43: no
Kickass43: I'm EATIN a hero
Kickass43: dats wat we call big sandwichs
SheikMo: How amusing to use the same word for a sandwich
SheikMo: that you also use to describe the courageous troops
SheikMo: who have so selflessly shed blood and given their lives
SheikMo: for those few Arab friends and allies
SheikMo: who believe in the great western causes of freedom
SheikMo: and democracy
SheikMo: and free trade.
SheikMo: Let us not forget also how many UAE "heroes"
SheikMo: have shed blood and given their lives in this cause.
Kickass43: I shur don't 4get it sheik
Kickass43: & tha merikan ppl don't 4get it
SheikMo: You know the hearts and minds of your people so well.
SheikMo: That is why, if I may say, all this unpleasantness over the ports
SheikMo: is so surprising.
SheikMo: Such a generous people!
SheikMo: Such BIG people!
SheikMo: Such heroes!
SheikMo: And yet that unfortunate strain of bigotry...
SheikMo: that runs through your society...
SheikMo: below the surface...
SheikMo: like oil beneath the sands...
SheikMo: occasionally exploding with tragic consequences...
SheikMo: I worry greatly, your Excellency, is at work here...
SheikMo: undermining our port deal.
Kickass43: I can ashur u ur highness
Kickass43: its not "bigotry"
Kickass43: (tho sumtimes politicly useful 2 call it dat)
Kickass43: its FEAR
Kickass43: tha dems hav scared that shit outta ppl
Kickass43: man
Kickass43: you'd think al qaeda wuz gonna b inspectin tha containers
SheikMo: I was unaware this Doctor Frist was a "dem" as you put it?
SheikMo: And are not other Republicans joining in the general enragement?
Kickass43: uh yeh
Kickass43: summa them don't like it
SheikMo: Democracy is a great gift to humanity.
SheikMo: Truly, your Excellency, I believe that.
SheikMo: But in times of national crisis
SheikMo: it is helpful for the leaders of a society
SheikMo: to present a unified front to the people.
SheikMo: Certainly no one in our world
SheikMo: would dare to question the decisions of the rulers
SheikMo: especially as they know we make all our decisions
SheikMo: based on the example of the Prophet himself
SheikMo: who always did what was good and merciful for his people.
SheikMo: Can you not silence these outspoken party members?
AIM IM with Party_gurl
12:43 p.m.
Party_gurl: DADDY U HAFTA STOP THIS!!
Party_gurl: Im DYIN
Party_gurl: dya hav any idea how BAD THIS IS?
Party_gurl: SOS!!!
Kickass43: pls can we talk l8r??
Party_gurl: WEN
Kickass43: 2nite?
Kickass43: come 4 dinnr
Party_gurl: cant
Party_gurl: hav plans
Party_gurl: meetin my girls after wrk @ dragonfly
Kickass43: so come aftr
Party_gurl: cant
Party_gurl: we're all goin 2 Play
Kickass43: if its "soooo" srious
Kickass43: cant u play anudder time??
Party_gurl: ur so outta it
Party_gurl: "Play" is a CLUB
Party_gurl: ull be asleep
Party_gurl: I need u 2 fix this NOW
Kickass43: jen I don't hav time 2 talk bout this!!
Party_gurl: u can stop it!
Kickass43: HOW
Party_gurl: ur liek the PRESIDENT
Party_gurl: itsa stupid low-life comdy fest
Party_gurl: pull ther grant!
Party_gurl: nuke em!!
Party_gurl: I DON'T CARE
Kickass43: pls IM ur ma
Party_gurl: I did alrdy
Party_gurl: she can't help
Party_gurl: sez she only duz book fests
Party_gurl: sed 2 ask u
Kickass43: giv me sum time
Party_gurl: how much?!
Kickass43: L8R
Kickass43 has left this chat.
AIM IM with SheikMo
12:50 p.m.
SheikMo: But I have been going on at great length.
SheikMo: I fear by your silence that I may have caused offense.
SheikMo: I know there can be no truer friend to us than your Excellency
SheikMo: The President of the mighty United States.
SheikMo: I think of America's mightiness every time
SheikMo: I have the occasion to ride upon
SheikMo: one of our national airline's American-made Boeings
SheikMo: as opposed to the Airbuses made by France.
SheikMo: Yes, we could have saved millions by purchasing them instead.
SheikMo: And the Airbus is not an inferior aircraft, as you know.
SheikMo: Although I hasten to add it is not a Boeing.
SheikMo: But the French are such unreliable friends!
SheikMo: And naturally we must preserve our greatest hospitality
SheikMo: and patronage
SheikMo: for our truest friends.
Kickass43: no offens takn ur highness
Kickass43: & I appreshiate ur pashuns
Kickass43: & patronaj
Kickass43: jus need mor time
Kickass43: a lttl more time...
Kickass43: 2 solv this "storm ina port"
Kickass43: heh heh
Kickass43: u can rly on me
Kickass43: Im tha PRESIDENT
Kickass43: aftr all...
SheikMo: We don't forget that, your Excellency.
SheikMo: And we won't forget it, your Excellency.
Sheik Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum has left this chat.
The President's Secret IMs appears every Tuesday.