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Chat with Snoblowr
11:28 a.m.
Kickass43: dude!
Kickass43: "muy hombre"
Kickass43: nuevo!
Kickass43: u redy 2 kik ur 4mr amigos asses
Kickass43: big time??
Snoblowr: you betcha sir!
Kickass43: start w/colbear
Kickass43: he tankd
Kickass43: lttl twerp
Kickass43: I wuz funnyr
Kickass43: heck tha ap guy wuz funnyr
Kickass43: givin out dem borin awardz
Kickass43: "skolarships"
Kickass43: like u needa degree
Kickass43: 2 go on tv
Snoblowr: the competition is tough these days sir.
Snoblowr: very tough.
Snoblowr: you need whatever help you can get...
Snoblowr: to make it to the top.
Snoblowr: as you know I had to claw my way up...
Snoblowr: from your dad's administration...
Snoblowr: before I got my big break on Rush.
Kickass43: yeh
Kickass43: poppy nvr likd u
Kickass43: & he likes evrybody
Kickass43: mayb sumpin u & me hav in comon
Snoblowr: well I very much appreciate the chance to work for you.
Snoblowr: I'm honored to serve this adminstration.
Snoblowr: I'm especially honored to serve you, Mr. President.
Snoblowr: & let me say how glad I am that you've agreed...
Snoblowr: to these one-on-one talks with me.
Snoblowr: I'm confident we can relaunch this show
Snoblowr: or rather presidency
Snoblowr: to much higher ratings.
Kickass43: boltass shur aint gna do it
Kickass43: "get our mojo back"
Kickass43: man!
Kickass43: like dats soo embarasin
Kickass43: spechully 2 r enemys!
Kickass43: osamas rofl
Kickass43: "his own dude sez hes lost his mojo!!"
Kickass43: like whos got it now
Kickass43: dr evil?!
Snoblowr: nah I don't think mccain has it sir.
Snoblowr: maybe hillary
Snoblowr: anyway let's move on
Snoblowr: these problems are no longer your problems
Snoblowr: they're our problems
Snoblowr: they're MY problems
Snoblowr: & I'm going to solve them
Kickass43: u can hav em
Snoblowr: seriously I've been thinking hard...
Snoblowr: I've got some ideas
Snoblowr: I'd like you to preview
Kickass43: roll em
Snoblowr: let's start with the daily press briefing
Kickass43: boltass wants 2 kill it
Kickass43: hek I want 2 kill it
Kickass43: kill all dem jerks
Snoblowr: exactly
Snoblowr: that's the current thinking
Snoblowr: I say let's not be too hasty
Snoblowr: if we "kill it" right away...
Snoblowr: we'll feed into those perceptions...
Snoblowr: "bush-is-cut-off"
Snoblowr: "bush-is-arrogant"
Snoblowr: the usual stuff you get from the liberal media
Snoblowr: washpost/nyts will howl
Kickass43: let em
Snoblowr: well sir I think we can do better than that
Snoblowr: beat them at their own game
Kickass43: ?
Kickass43: wwf??
Kickass43: : - )
Snoblowr: you're not too far off sir
Snoblowr: look we're redoing the whole briefing room...
Snoblowr: & press offices anyway
Snoblowr: (I can report sir that the people at fox were very happy with the new plans)
Snoblowr: (they especially liked their wet bar & gym...
Snoblowr: & glass offices overlooking the rose garden)
Snoblowr: (FYI david gregory was heard muttering about his low ceilings...
Snoblowr: & the fact he'll not be able to push out from his desk...
Snoblowr: without hitting a wall!)
Kickass43: heh heh
Kickass43: u c wer I put..
Kickass43: * boltass * put...
Kickass43: helen thomas?
Snoblowr: no sir
Kickass43: tol her she wuz gna b bside tha cabnet room
Kickass43: shes like THRILLD
Kickass43: 4got 2 menshun tha wrd "filin"
Kickass43: as in "filin cabnet"
Kickass43: :-D
Snoblowr: hilarious mr. president!
Snoblowr: but lets not digress...
Snoblowr: as we're about to go into a hard break...
Kickass43: chow time!
Snoblowr: yes
Snoblowr: since we're remodelling the briefing room anyway...
Kickass43: u eatin in tha mess 2day?
Snoblowr: no sir
Snoblowr: I was just going to grab a sandwich round the corner
Snoblowr: eat at my desk
Snoblowr: revise the architect's plans
Snoblowr: depending on what you had to say about...
Kickass43: wich sanwich joint?
Snoblowr: cosi
Snoblowr: they make a wicked italian meatball
Snoblowr: although the wasabi roast beef
Snoblowr: is good too.
Kickass43: soundz suspichus
Snoblowr: suspicious?
Kickass43: dat wer u blo-dried talkin heds get ur fancy grool?
Kickass43: like wats rong w/cafeteeria
Kickass43: turkey lettus mayo
Kickass43: nuttin rong wit dat
Kickass43: "wasabi"
Kickass43: dats jus japaneez
Kickass43: 4 ovr-pricd
Snoblowr: cosi sells s'mores now too sir
Kickass43: SMORES?
Kickass43 :-P
Snoblowr: I'll ask if they have them to go sir.
Kickass43: YES
Snoblowr: ok
Snoblowr: we were just talking about the new briefing room...
Kickass43: o yeh
Snoblowr: I'm very excited about this mr. president
Snoblowr: the old one is so 1960s
Snoblowr: the podium
Snoblowr: rows of seats
Snoblowr: too static
Snoblowr: it sets up a bad visual
Snoblowr: "us against them"
Snoblowr: we need to appeal to a younger hipper demographic
Snoblowr: we need a younger hipper set
Kickass43: set?
Snoblowr: I meant briefing room
Kickass43: k
Kickass43: cuz ur in tha wite house now
Kickass43: gotta think dignfied
Kickass43: hstrical
Kickass43: prez.i.den.shul.
Snoblowr: sorry sir.
Snoblowr: old language dies hard.
Kickass43: wit me all languaj dies hard
Kickass43: dats y I need u
Snoblowr: & that's why we need to revisualize this room
Snoblowr: I see: no podium
Snoblowr: I see: tv monitors/windows/ graphics
Snoblowr: lots of ice blue/matte silver
Snoblowr: the audience...
Snoblowr: * press *
Snoblowr: seated in a circle
Snoblowr: I stand in the middle with a cordless mike
Snoblowr: no chair no desk
Snoblowr: active.
Snoblowr: engaged.
Snoblowr: think the old phil donahue...
Snoblowr: meets Dr. Phil...
Snoblowr: or Oprah meets Wolf Blitzer.
Snoblowr: After a short grabby statement
Snoblowr: & the day's talking points
Snoblowr: (which we can throw up as bullets on the monitors o'reilly-style BTW)
Snoblowr: I walk right into the audience...
Snoblowr: * press *
Snoblowr: to take questions.
Snoblowr: "David Gregory what have you gotta say?"
Snoblowr: "What about answers on Iraq?"
Snoblowr: "Okay let's talk about that..."
Snoblowr: fast-paced
Snoblowr: but friendly
Snoblowr: "Helen how do you react to what I just said?"
Snoblowr: message: we're in control
Snoblowr: it's our show.
Snoblowr: it's no longer their show.
Snoblowr: in fact we should think about renaming it:
Snoblowr: "The White House Briefing with Tony Snow."
Snoblowr: a few of my old sound buddies
Snoblowr: have put together some theme music...
Kickass43: uh tone?
Snoblowr: I'm not quite done sir
Snoblowr: I want you to have the full picture
Snoblowr: i.e. we can go to the monitors...
Snoblowr: when we want to roll our own footage.
Snoblowr: "take a look at some good news in iraq"
Snoblowr: "the stuff you guys aren't showing the folks at home"
Kickass43: how dya tost tha marshmalos?
Snoblowr: I don't follow you sir
Kickass43: 4 tha smores!
Kickass43: u need 2 tost tha marshmalos
Kickass43: like thers no campfire in cosis rite?
Snoblowr: they bring it to your table
Kickass43: a campfire?!
Snoblowr: no it's more like a rustic disposable coleman
Snoblowr: some sort of flammable goo in pottery
Snoblowr: im not really sure
Snoblowr: my kids get them
Kickass43: cuz I wuz thinkin we cd use tha kichen
Kickass43: got 1 back here in tha oval office
Kickass43: gas stove
Kickass43: & a sink
Kickass43: nvr use it xept 2 wash barney's feet
Snoblowr: that would work sir
Snoblowr: but tell me...
Snoblowr: do you have any reaction to my pitch
Snoblowr: * plans *
Snoblowr: for the daily press briefing?
Kickass43: lemme scroll bak up
Kickass43: wuz thinkin bout smores
Kickass43: ---
Kickass43: k jus red it
Snoblowr: and...?
Kickass43: dunno
Kickass43: cd wrk I ges
Kickass43: but wat bout wen thers bad newz?
Kickass43: I men ALOTTA bad newz
Kickass43: like rite now
Kickass43: ur sayin we wd put up r own good newz?
Snoblowr: Not only that sir
Snoblowr: we could have our own "crawl"
Kickass43: ?
Snoblowr: the little band of type that runs across the bottom of the screen
Snoblowr: ours would broadcast our take on the day's headlines
Snoblowr: "higher oil prices good for Iraqi economy"
Snoblowr: "President Bush announces new initiative to preserve dinner hour for families."
Kickass43: like dat
Kickass43: but wat happns wen sumpin reel bad happns?
Kickass43: mayb we don't hav gd vishuls
Snoblowr: in the event of that sir we'd go to b-roll
Kickass43: ??
Snoblowr: sorry
Snoblowr: another industry term
Snoblowr: stock footage of something happy
Snoblowr: or distracting
Snoblowr: cancun maybe
Kickass43: my meetin w/fox & harper??!
Snoblowr: no not that
Snoblowr: college break
Snoblowr: its an old fox news trick
Snoblowr: whenever you have something really horrible
Snoblowr: "homicide in paradise"
Snoblowr: you roll footage of girls in bikinis shaking their boobs
Snoblowr: put it on a loop
Snoblowr: no one pays attention to the news reader or the story
Snoblowr: fox's got a lot of that kind of b-roll
Snoblowr: they've also got c-roll and dd-roll
Snoblowr: (the last one is REALLY big boobs for something like a national tragedy)
Kickass43: cant say I like dat 1 tone
Kickass43: I men: I LIKE it
Kickass43: but it aint gna fly w/tha base
Kickass43: & it shur aint prezidenshul
Snoblowr: we could create our own b-roll sir
Snoblowr: something more appropriate
Snoblowr: maybe the "Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders"
Kickass43: bingo
Snoblowr: if you like the concept
Snoblowr: I envision taking it beyond the daily briefing
Snoblowr: to you & your events
Kickass43: u aint gettin me ina bikini snowbird
Snoblowr: funny!
Snoblowr: no I meant bringing the message "active & engaged"
Snoblowr: to everything you do
Snoblowr: break the bubble!
Kickass43: k fine
Kickass43: like how?
Snoblowr: look at illegal immigration.
Snoblowr: it's killing you in the polls.
Snoblowr: people hate it & you're seen as soft.
Snoblowr: we need to get you down to the border...
Kickass43: boltass alredy sujestd dat
Kickass43: wants 2 put me in sum ATV...
Kickass43: go patrol 4 cayotes
Snoblowr: I'm aware of that sir
Snoblowr: but with respect to josh
Snoblowr: I think we can do better
Snoblowr: think "COPS"
Snoblowr: I see: cameras following the President on a night raid
Snoblowr: I see: the president shouting "Stop! Freeze you [bleeping] cayote!"
Snoblowr: I see: the merciless thugs thrown to the ground ...
Snoblowr: I see: the president holding them down while...
Snoblowr: border cops frisk the suspects
Snoblowr: cut to the reveal:
Snoblowr: an 18-wheeler stuffed to the gills with starving & thirsty mexicans...
Snoblowr: whole families
Snoblowr: frightened moms
Snoblowr: crying dirty babies
Snoblowr: dads just trying to do the right thing
Snoblowr: nice decent people who just want to work hard in our country
Snoblowr: cut to: the president helping them out of the truck...
Snoblowr: passing out bottles of water, formula...
Snoblowr: grilling burgers on an open flame...
Kickass43: ur remindin me of smores
Snoblowr: oh sure sir
Snoblowr: I'll get them right away
Snoblowr: but what do you think of my...
Snoblowr: "COPS: Presidential Edition"
Snoblowr: I wouldn't even ask for a credit on that one.
Kickass43: lemme think it ovr
Kickass43: run it by a few ppl
Kickass43: lot 2 take in
Snoblowr: I understand sir
Snoblowr: get back to me whenever
Snoblowr: FYI I'll be out of the office for the next couple of weeks.
Kickass43: u takin a vacashun alredy??!
Snoblowr: not at all mr president
Snoblowr: I have a little time to kill before I take over from scotty
Snoblowr: thought I'd send myself out on assignment
Snoblowr: get some specials in the can
Snoblowr: have them ready to roll out with the new briefings
Snoblowr: "Democracy in Afghanistan with Tony Snow"
Snoblowr: "China: Friend or Foe? A Special Report by Tony Snow"
Snoblowr: "Removing the Veil: The Secret Lives of Islamic Women"
Snoblowr: the last one is part of our new series "Behind the Scenes With Tony Snow"
Kickass43: I got 1 4 u
Kickass43: how bout "tha iraq war wit tony snow"
Kickass43: mayb u wanna take credit 4 dat?
Snoblowr: not yet mr. president
Kickass43 has left the chat.
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