THE BLOG

Get Real (It's Not As Bad As You Think)

02/20/2015 04:16 pm ET | Updated Apr 22, 2015
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You know those feelings you keep to yourself about your life story? Yeah those, let's talk about those.

I'm not saying we need to go bawling our eyes out in the grocery store or telling the crossing guard what our thoughts are on cloning.

I'm talking about getting real with ourselves. Approaching what we are hiding and connecting with what we know is there, but are avoiding.

When we don't share our true feelings, we tend to box them away and hide them in the darkness. They either feel too scary to approach, or we don't want to go through the process of crying and actually feeling. After all, who has time for that? Everyone else looks happy anyway, just look at their Facebook pictures.

That's exactly where we are mislead.

Our challenges don't keep us different from one another, in fact it is our challenges that are the common thread we all share.

We've all been there, in situations that seem bigger then we are. What makes us different is how we face them. Do we tuck our feelings away neatly into boxes labeled denial, or do we face them head on?

Some of the feelings we box away turn out to be watered down desires, while others linger and stick around as anxiety, sadness, or depression, and some even manifest as physical ailments or addictions.

We can use the darkness to propel us or we can use it to hold us back. It is always and only up to us.

By coming clean, getting real and facing what you've hidden, you make room for more light. You become more connected to those you share your life with. You become more connected to you. (The best part of all!)

Seven Ways To Know You're Being Real

1. You don't need to always be busy or with someone. In fact, you crave alone time. You enjoying checking in with yourself and making sure you're where you want to be.

2. You have dreams and goals and enjoy sharing them with others. (The real ones, not the goals you're "supposed" to have.) When we share our true desires, we keep ourselves accountable. And by speaking about what we want, we validate our feelings and give them worth.

3. You've Bawled Your Eyes Out Over a Heartbreak. To have a heart means it's been broken. And if you haven't cried over it, then chances are you haven't addressed it.

4. You Don't Get Stressed Out Easily. When we are real and connected, we are calm. But holding back what's real for us can mean that at any minute we will react, and sometimes overreact to situations.

5. You Participate In Life. You have hobbies and things you love to do. You have go-to experiences that make your heart sing that don't involve alcohol or becoming completely numb.

6. Those Skeletons in Your Closet Aren't Wearing Cloaks of Shame.
In fact, those secrets you've held onto are now free and are a part of your story. They don't define who you are, or label you. The cloak of shame is lifted when we speak our truth.

7. There's No Room in Your Life for Gossip. When we are connected with our heart's desires, there is no room for gossip and belittling others, because we've been there. We've been on the side of not measuring up and realize no one is perfect. When we get real with ourselves, we get real with others and compassion trumps gossip.

Like the process of the caterpillar becoming a butterfly, it may feel like a struggle, but it's worth it. When we clear out the debris of shame, resentment, sadness and disappointment and get real with how we feel, we can then spread our wings and become free.

If there is a challenge you need to face, don't be afraid to ask for help. You don't have to do it alone. You can reach out to support groups, family, friends and counselors. There are others who have been where you are who can and want to help.

We are all in this together. And one thing is for sure, the real you is the absolute best you. Open up and shine like you mean it. The world needs your light.