Our Sacrifice

Read more about Memorial Day from Huffington Post bloggers.

Sherwood would be 34, still a big brother, a father proud of his ever growing teenage son. He'd be holding it down somehow -- working like a dog, passionate about his family and the people he served. He'd know my son. They'd share on equal measure the endless newness and wonder of life.

Sherwood would be his father's hope as he fights cancer. He would be his mother's calm and his brothers' pride.

Sherwood would be here, present amongst the living, were it not for the war in Iraq.

Four years ago, in the emerging desert summer, an explosion rocked a suspected chemical munitions factory in Baghdad. A Pennsylvania Army National Guardsman patrolling the perimeter was fatally wounded when he was struck in the head with debris. His name was Sherwood Baker, age 30, recently promoted to Sergeant. He had a wife and a child.

My brother is dead. I must repeat that to myself with a quiet firmness. For many, Memorial Day represents the promise of burgeoning possibilities, a chance for a BBQ, afternoon beers and family gatherings. We, however, are consumed with flags, tears and the names of our dead.

For my family, Memorial Day bookends a season of anniversaries. For the fourth time now, we have repeated this litany. The last time I saw Sherwood was in February. The last time we talked was in March. His last e-mail came days before his death in April. His funeral was in May. And now we have this weekend to remember him amongst all of the fallen.

We remember Sherwood as we work amidst an inspired group of unlikely activists -- Gold Star and Military Families who want an end to the war in Iraq. We are regular folks, your every day nobodies, whose grief and vigilance is aimed at preventing further tragedy. We have banged on the doors in Washington, we have marched in the streets of America. We have relentlessly called for an immediate end to this hideous debacle.

Despite our efforts, and the efforts of millions of other dedicated citizens, the war has raged for more than 5 years. Memorial Day offers us pause, even as men and women, Americans and Iraqis, suffer death and injury.

In this moment as the eye passes over us, I find, perhaps, a single enlightening parallel. Our heroes who laid down their lives made courageous and selfless decisions to serve their country. They remind us that moral courage is nothing we can compensate. Rewards, we pray, are theirs heaven, for on God's earth they have lost everything they cherished.

We sift through the campaign season hoping against hope that the political process as we know it will end the war. We are wrong. No political strategy will end the morass, the corruption, the burning blanket on humanity that is Iraq. Only moral courage will end the war.

We who choose to stand on those grounds will not profit. The politicians who join us may not become Committee Chairs, they may not be re-elected, they may not have buildings named after them. They will simply do what is right.

As we plead our case, we will only be told intellectual lies about the need to continue funding the degradation and destruction of a sovereign society. We will only be asked to believe that our best interests are being served as death knocks on the doors of Anbar and America alike.

I have my purpose. Sherwood cannot enjoy the fruit of life -- he cannot watch his son become a man, he cannot counsel me, he can no longer raise his voice. There were no material possessions to inherit from my brother. Even his clothes were too big for me. What I carry of him now, what I speak in his name, what I raise my son with, represents all he has left me.

Memorial Day gives us each a chance to embrace the fallen as our own. Let us distinguish between the nobility of service and the nobility of this war.

Read the names of the 4081 servicemen and women who have been killed in Iraq. Each and every one of them is one of you. Common folks, unlikely heroes. Yes. Willing to sacrifice. Yes. Forever gone. Yes. Children will never be born, work will never be done, cries will never be heard.

Own their sacrifice and then ask yourself if you believe more of them dying in Iraq will bring justice to the world. Own their sacrifice for it is we who send them to war, and we who keep them at war.

Dante Zappala is the brother of Sgt. Sherwood Baker, KIA in Baghdad, Iraq 4/26/04. He is a member of Military Families Speak out (www.mfso.org) and Gold Star Families Speak Out (www.gsfso.org).

Read more about Memorial Day from Huffington Post bloggers.

Comments

[esquire07]

Dead US Troops = Halliburton Profit = Money in Dick Cheney's bloody criminal pockets.

War is about profit and sacrificing the young so that the Bushs of the World can live well. It is that simple. There is no Honor or glory, just death and profit.

[ivy]

My deepest condolences. My brother, in the military (I won't mention the branch), has done two tours of duty in Iraq and thankfully has emerged uninjured. I so deeply resent the hypocrisy of this administration in tarring as traitors those who oppose this war. Those serving, and those who lost their lives in this conflict of choice, possess a nobility no one in this administration could hope to possess.

[PuffAndStuff]

Very moving. May this country always remember your brother and all who have fallen.

Your post did give me pause, and thinking about how Memorial Day certainly does have a very different signifance for people like you and families like yours.

I don't personally know anyone who's in the military: anyone who's serving in Iraq, nor served and died in this senseless tragedy.

Ancestory research does show there's been a good deal of sacrifice throughout many generations of my family: with relatives in combat for this country in nearly ever war America has ever engaged in, dating as far as as the Revolution/1700's, and including Yanks/Civil War. Though the last person to serve was ny maternal grandfather in the Korean War.

That said, Memorial Day for us is usually a time to reflect and appreciate history and such historical sacrifices, as well as recognizing the sacrifices of all those currently serving in Iraq or who have perished in Iraq: in appreciation of all veterans and those who have given the ulimate sacrifice ....

Of all which is from reflective removed-pe­rspective.

What Memorial Day means to you and your family is absolutely incomprehensible to me. Knowing that 4,000+ families are experiencing the same as you this Memorial Day is heartbreaking. For you having lost a sibling, particularly under these circumstances, is just unimaginable ...

Saying I'm sorry for your loss is simply not enough.

[brooklyncitizen]

A real loss and an urecoverable one.

Thank you for also including the Iraquis in your "memorial ".

[noslack327]

it's a good thing we have enough real americans to take up weapons and protect the scum like most of you on here. if it were up to the likes of you people we'd be speaken german or russian today. now this post won't get through because it doesn't tell bush to go to hell but i'll keep trying to get my point across nonetheless.

[Dante Zappala - Huffpost Blogger]

I think you can stop trying--we all understand this nonsense and have heard it before. Our men and women who died in service to our country did not hold their fellow citizens in contempt. They took an oath to serve out of love and respect for our country. You do them a disservice--it is awful for you to believe you can speak for them. Sherwood was my brother and your brother. He would condemn neither of us for our political views.

[PatA]

I am so sorry for your loss. PatA

[Jander]

Thank you Dante for speaking out - working to bring the rest of our troops home and holding our leaders and media accountable is the highest tribute we can give the fallen.

[faith]

This is worthy of a larger format on the page. It is eloquent. It is truthful. Thank you Mr, Zappala,

[tbrnotb]

I am so moved by your words.
The tears in my eyes are for your brother, your family and the 4,080 others who have given the ultimate sacrifice.

My heart is with you this Memorial Day and every day of the year until this abomination ends.

[BuckarooBanzai]

I have posted this every Memorial Day since 2003, I pray for the day when the war is over and I don't have to anymore:
Its from the New York Vietnam Memorial:

"If you are able,
save for them a place
inside of you…
and save one backward glance
when you are leaving
for the places they can
no longer go….
Be not ashamed to say
you loved them,
though you may
or may not have always…
Take what they have left
and what they have taught you
with their dying
and keep it with your own…
And in that time
when men decide and feel safe
to call the war insane,
take one moment to embrace
those gentle heroes
you left behind…

Maj. Michael Davis O’Donnell: KIA 1970"

Burn in Hell George Bush

[lbrillante]

Cyring tears for all of the fallen americans and Iraqi's and afghanista­ni's... our american tragedy... We must not try to comfort ourselves and quietly accept the continuation of this war or any entrance into further war. I hope that we will all fight to hold eveyrone accountabl­e...every contractor that lined his pockets with huge profits from this death... every leader who lied and hid the truth to support this agenda and it's purpose.. People had to fight for this america and we have become too complacent and too trusting of media sources etc. If we want a better american we will all have to work for it. We make america what it is... for too long we have been placated ...as long as enough of us were comfortable enough... politicians could get away with whatever they liked... Human beings unfortunately tend to learn through pain. I hope that they pain of this tragedy will force all americans to be involved in their government and never allow our leaders to repeat such a tragic mistake again.

[wagonjak]

Watching Bush and McCain crying crocodile tears for the fallen Americans today just pisses the hell out of me...since McCain voted against the Webb Bill to help American soldiers get an education when they return, and Bush vowing a veto of same. What a couple of grade-A hypocrites!!!

And Admiral Mullen's pious call for those in the military to avoid politics..­.has he told that to our clueless commander in chief who uses soldiers for props in many of his political speeches?
Why should any soldier listen to this edict when Bush violates it weekly?

Not to mention all of the retired military puppets who have engaged in politics while pretending to give Americans a true picture of the Iraq disaster!!!!!

[tbone99]

Let us also remember on Memorial Day the brave journalists who have been killed in their efforts to
reveal the truth and save our country , our souls, and our soldiers. These are the unsung heroes of a true democracy. Their families don't get flags or 21 gun salutes but they get my thanks and my grief for their lives sacrificed for others.

http://www.cpj.org/Briefings/Iraq/Iraq_danger.html

[Richard729]

Just who is "we" Dante Zappala refers to?

"We", meaning most of us reading your column which will be ignored by most of the mainstream media, didn't support the Bush autocracy from the beginning. "We" all predicted the travesty that this autocracy is and the tragedy it has become for you and your family when you lost your older brother.

I watched with dismay and anger when I saw former U.S. Supreme Court justice Sandra Day O'Connor testifying before the U.S. Congress on May 16 where she sought sympathy for her husband's irreversible Alzheimer's disease. Yet, her landmark vote in the Bush Vs Gore case set back stem cell research which could have had untold benefits and possible cures for Alzheimer's and other debilitating diseases.

Yes, I know, many have built up this aura of reverence and admiration for the former high court justice but "we" are not the ones who cast the deciding, so-called swing vote that put the murderous and genocidal policies of G. W. Bush in the White House. She alone must take responsibility for casting the decision in a historic 5-4 vote that leap-frogged over the Dred Scott decision as the absolute worst ruling in the history of our country.

Yes, "we" cared and "we" still care. But had you and those in the mainstream media had the guts to speak out more forcibly over the past 7-1/2 years "we" may not be in this Bush-created catastrophe today.

[chinaskee]

So you think that Sandra Day O'Connor should have let her personal life influence her decision in a legal matter ?

[Indubio]

I think O'Conner and the rest of her fellow jurists should have let the Florida Supreme Court rule on Florida law. She and her fellow jurists elected to intervene in a case that had already settled and it simply required time for the established process to work itself out. She and her fellow jurist elected to short circuit process for political ends because they knew Gore would win the election. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand what happened: Conservative Republican Supreme Court Justices supported Bush and in some cases voted against their so called strict constructionist ideology. All jurists including O'Conner make legal decisions based on their life's experiences and prejudices, and, O'Conner surely let her personal political loyalties influence her fateful 2000 decision in Bush v Gore. She should be condemned not honored.

[Richard729]

Yes, Sandra Day O'Connor's personal and extremely partisan decision to put a dim-witted G. W. Bush Republican in the White House resulted in the deaths of tens of thousands of Iraqi men, women and children and put 4,080 U.S. military in body bags.

When she went before a congressional hearing and whined over her husband's Alzheimer's disease she should also understand the consequences of her "swing-vote" that resulted in so much senseless death since G. W. Bush has been in office.

Her personal life's decision not only influenced the "legal matter" Bush Vs Gore, but she alone had the power of her "swing vote" that ultimately led Bush to veto stem cell research legislation and deny millions of people from having even the slightest chance to ease their pain or possibly prevent a debilitating disease -- like Alzheimer's or Parkinson's.

Not too many people in our democracy got to vote twice for president. Once in the general election and again in a 9-person bloc of judges who selected the president of the United States by a plurality of one vote in their 5-4 decision.

In case you haven't noticed, G. W. Bush's personal life, thanks to 5 partisan judges, totally trumped any legal matters once honored by our U.S. Constitution. He got what he wanted -- War and bloodshed.

[NoMoFearNoMoHate]

I will stand with you as your brother, Dante.

[ChiGuy]

Beautifully written, Dante.

I am thinking today, of those 4081 as well as those American men and women that gave their lives in other conflicts.
Sherwood will be front and center in those thoughts.

[JimReed]

This is an unfortunate situation. Our soldiers are just following orders, but they are not protecting America. As they turn the world to hatred of us, they are making America less safe. There is nothing to win in Iraq, other than a chance for the rich to globalize and consolidate control over the world's resources. This is not for the good of America, and certainly not for the good of Iraq. It is so that the rich can become more rich. The soldiers are in an unfortunate situation. We can't memorialize their service until we deal with what we have done as a nation. We can appreciate the sacrifice of our greatest generation. Today's army has been destroyed from the top by removing voices not with the program. We probably need to start by sorting out our priorities as a nation, and once that is resolved we can work on fixing our military.