If you have a beach house in Sounio, Greece and if you have grown up there, one thing is for sure: you have not experienced summer if you haven't dived from a 20 foot cliff into the water when your parents are not watching. Year after year my friends and I would find a desolate beach, we would swim to the rocks and then climb to the top, taking turns to jump. Now, when we were kids, we would all clumsily struggle to surface from the water, cling on the rocks, scratch our bodies, leave pieces of our swimsuits behind and let ourselves fall, graceful as a sack of potatoes but merry as can be. Up until I was 6 or 7 years old and when I wasn't in the States, I would spend my summers with these same kids.
In this group, there were no body issues, no sizes, no comparison and no competition. Everyone knew each other's stretch marks, scars and imperfections and there was absolutely nothing to hide.
Growing up, when I started joining other friends at the beach and on vacations, I detected a consistent pattern in different shapes but with a uniform and not so subtle- mannerism. I like to call it: the pattern of the terrorized hiding kid.
The terrorized hiding kid at the beach, deals with one of the following problems:
- Their stomach is sticking out- They have cellulite- They ate too much pizza the night before- They are wearing a collapsing bikini- Their speedo is falling short- They forgot to shave, or - They never got to their new year's workout resolution
Don't judge: you have certainly been a terrorized hiding kid at some point in your life and so have I. So let's keep going.
The terrorized hiding kid gleefully swims with the rest of their friends and almost forgets what they were worrying about on the first place until a dreadful someone suggests that they move the party outside. In a split second, the struggle is real. The terrorized hiding kid's eyes run as fast as a race car while they strategize their way out of the water, into their beach bag and under their XL towel. If the bag is too far away, they mentally slap themselves, they look for toddlers digging sand holes for them to dive in and if they can't see any, they lifelessly drag their bodies to the shore.
The terrorized hiding kid will grow quieter as they swim and will turn mute when it's go time. They will sprint outside before or after everyone else. They will make a towel burrito of themselves, they will exhale and then they will go back to acting normally.
Ring any bells?
Whenever I encounter a fellow terrorized hiding kid, I wish they could have been a part of my friend group in Sounio. Because even if some of us have grown body conscious, we always have that point of reference of carefree summer being and this makes it easier for us to occasionally defy all doubts and take ourselves wherever the party is heading to.
Since my background as a pro failure crusader who helps people turn shortcoming into potential through my Today I Failed At Facebook page, stands for optimism, you might expect a pep talk from me, claiming that: "no one will see your imperfections so don't care about it". But this is not what I am going to tell you. Here are 3 things that I like to repeat when I catch myself sliding into terrorized hiding kid mode:
1) People will in fact see your imperfections. You just have to make a choice: Is their opinion more important to you that the experience you will be missing out on?
2) When you try and hide a shortcoming, you tend to draw more attention to it. Think about it: who do you notice more? Someone who calmly emerges from the water or a sprinting creature in the shape of a man?3) When you are 80 years old and look back to your summers as a 14, 16, 20, 25-year old, do you want to remember watching others have fun while you are safe and shielded or do you want to remember having the fun yourself?
You are right to worry. People judge and people will judge. But this is your life. You are only 13 once. You are only 27 once. You are only 32 once. You are only 45 once. You are only at this age once. No second chances. So when you have a choice, to either burrito-yourself or jump in the water, please do, terrorized kid, jump in the water.
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