03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Beyond The Bucket List

The Bucket List is already way beyond the movie; it's part of the lexicon, part of life----the things you want to do before you die.

Lately it seems as if everyone and his dog has one. Which is great. Up to a point.

There's a place where the Buck(et) Stops. Where the brave and bold move beyond.

For me, the moment hit somewhere between imagining getting a face-lift and getting my affairs in order. Not that I've done either one.

For baby boomers, the dawn of the new decade could be the perfect time.
It's not about age; it's about attitude.

You are ready to move Beyond the Bucket List when:

  • The bucket is in sight---and you have insight.
  • You don't have it ALL; but you have ENOUGH.
  • You are thinking ahead---and behind.
  • You want to GO---and also LET GO.

So go with it. Create a list that's the flip side of the Bucket List.
I couldn't avoid the obvious----so call it: The F**k-it List.

Things you shoulda done, woulda done, coulda done---but know you won't.
Things you are ready to cross off your Bucket List---with or without regret.

Since I'm making up the concept, I'm also making up the rules:

  • Be honest. Be sure you have searched your soul and are ready to give something up.
  • Be flexible---there's no particular number of items. As you get older your Bucket List will get shorter; your F**k-it list will get longer.
  • Be real. Pick things you had some legitimate possibility of accomplishing. In my case, it's not likely that I'd win a Nobel Prize----but in my fantasies, it's possible I could sing onstage with Bruce Springsteen.

The most important feature is that you are not GIVING UP; you are GIVING permission; GIVING acceptance to the person who counts most---yourself.

It's an easy way to assess where you are at this point in your life. Plus I promise a sense of relief and release comes from letting yourself off the hook. Permanently. Publicly.

So here goes:


Get an advanced degree
Travel in space
Fit into the clothes from my past lives
Run a marathon
Climb a mountain
Have a completely clutter free house or a completely clean desk
Walk through an art museum and be able to appreciate everything
Learn what's under the hood of a car
Throw a delicious meal together from random ingredients in the refrigerator

To launch this concept as a meme, I'm posting my list on Facebook and tagging friends; I hope you'll post your own F**k-it List and pass it forward.

My list would have one extra item but it still feels premature----until the Boss stops performing, I'm hanging onto that remote chance I'll get to sing with his band.