No Weigh!

So there we are. A dinner party with my ex-husband's side of the family. All adults ranging in age from 20 to 70. Dinner is over, I am paying no attention to the conversation at the far end of the table when I see my nephew approaching with a bathroom scale. I have no idea what instigated this, but it apparently involves a discussion about someone's weight (not mine, I assure you).

Now that he has our attention, my nephew puts the scale on the floor next to the table, steps on -- and tells the assembled group how much he weighs. Remember, this is AFTER dinner, not before, and we have all just consumed excessive amounts of bread, pasta, and other carbohydrates.

The number on the scale inspires some comments (all justified); and then one of the other guys gets up and steps on the scale. And before you can say "Kirstie Alley", ALL of the men line up by the scale, with absolutely no hesitation and no prodding whatsoever, and weigh themselves. And then announce their weights OUT LOUD (which by the way fall within a range of a hundred pounds -- but I am not naming names -- or even initials). There is no alcohol abuse involved; and each of them is fully dressed, head to toe, including shoes.

If you are reading this and you are female, I am guessing that your reaction might be the same as that of every woman sitting at the table. None of us makes a move to rise from our chairs; none of us volunteers to join the line next to the scale; none of us can relate in the slightest possible way to what we are seeing. Speaking for myself, I would rather step into the lion cage at the LA Zoo than step onto that scale.

It is the Mason-Dixon line; the Berlin Wall. Possibly no clearer divide exists between Mars and Venus.

My husband V owns a professional doctor's scale, the kind you step on with the sliding weights. He weighs himself on this scale every single morning and every night. He does this even when I am right there, watching.

This scale is really large, and occupies a very prominent place in our bathroom. Every single time I walk into our bathroom, I pass right by it. In fact, in order to reach the towel rack, I have to stretch my arm around the scale.

If I were to weigh myself on that scale, which I have not done in a very very long time, I would never dream of doing it when V is actually in the bathroom. I would need to know that he was safely out of the house. Better yet, out of the country.

There was a time, not that long ago, that I kept close tabs on my weight. Especially when it was going in the opposite direction from where it's now headed. I notice that my level of denial expands proportionately in direct correlation to my proportions.

Which makes the perfect segway to the scale being the white elephant in the bathroom. It obviously doesn't blend with our decor, but I still manage to pretend it's not there. For me, the scale now functions mainly as a place to occasionally drape a wet towel.

Like any normal American woman, my weight has always been a complete fabrication to the people at the DMV -- and a state secret kept at all costs from everyone else. Lately I've moved on to even more extreme measures. I'm keeping it a secret from myself.

Comments

[Gwen86]

I have always thought that lying about your weight is a little like lying about your height. It's no use saying that you are 5' 10'' when you are really 5'7'', because people can see you. They can visibly assess how tall you are just with their eyes. Same with weight. If you are fat, people know. If you weigh 170 but tell people you weigh 135, people won't say, "well, before I thought she was fat, but she told me her weight and she is actually in great shape." If anything, since muscle is denser than fat, lying about your weight will just make people think you have less muscle than you really do. If you don't want to tell others your weight, fine, but don't think they are completely left in the dark because they don't know the exact number.

[vagabond78666]

I agree with Marioli.
But i have to state this article is another piece of evidence to the insanity of the american female.
Everything from the disconnect from reality from watching soap operas to the general catty disdain for their fellow sisters women are proof of my statement.
why is that number soooo important?
you look the way you look!

[Eek909]

I'm a 29-year old woman, but I am not shy at all to tell my weight. I recently lost a lot of weight. While I was losing, every week I posted my weight onto my myspace blog for the world to see. It was very motivating and liberating to be completely open and unashamed by what the scale says.

[Darryle Pollack - Huffpost Blogger]

Congratulations to you. Getting over these hangups is incredibly liberating as I know from my recent personal experience of telling the world via my Huffington Post on Keira Knightley that I gave up wearing my fake breasts! Maybe one of these days instead of "Burning Bras with Keira Knightley" I'll write a blog called "Stepping on Scales with Kirstie Alley."

[dadw5boys]

I have come to the conclusion that women who have been mentally brainwashed about thier weight will inconciously try and add pounds onto their husbands with the things they cook.

The Commerical Interest who are all to ready to remind everyone how much we all suck but if we buy the junk they are selling we won't suck so much!

Well I had to take over cooking at my home at least breakfast and dinner because I kept getting meal that tasted great but were going to blow me up to 300 lbs. I took over cooking for me and my kids health. I know she means well but this YO YO weight thing was killing us.

Now the Pizza's are once a month if that instead of 3 times a week for the kids. There is salad and veggies steam, boiled and with NO CHEESE. We drink more water, very little soda, and less milk.

She is learning to use a steamer and enjoy the taste of natural foods. That fried food taste she really enjoys an was brought up on is hard kill.
I hope more people take a look and think could I help my spouse with the cooking so we BOTH can enjoy a healthier life.

[Darryle Pollack - Huffpost Blogger]

Love it. Will you marry me????

[Susan60]

I used to be embarrassed to tell my husband my weight. He never knew it, and I would never show him my driver's license, which was at all times at least 10 pounds less than my actual weight. But after losing 60 pounds, I no longer care. I look at the scale every day just to keep tabs and to prevent me from gaining even one more pound than I need to. My husband is a normal size guy and my goal is to always try to be at least 20 pounds less than he is. I have met that goal for quite awhile. Recently, we did the unthinkable. We bought a new scale, because we have children who broke the old one. Well, I weighed 7 pounds more on the new scale!!! Now I am in the process of taking off that 7 pounds. The good news was the old scale was more inaccurate the more you weighed. So my husband actually weighed even more than the old scale said.

[Darryle Pollack - Huffpost Blogger]

You've come a long way, baby---in both mind and body. Congratulations and hope you continue staying ahead (or behind) your husband.

[DennyCrane]

Keeping it a secret from everyone else is fine. But it's been shown that the people who weigh themselves daily are the most successful at keeping their weight off. I know that I have a much easier time controlling my weight when I check it daily. If I don't, it's easy for the weight to creep back on.

[Darryle Pollack - Huffpost Blogger]

I know for a fact that you are right---a lesson learned the hard way.

[EquinoxMoon]

Amen, sister! Nobody's business, not even mine! ;)

[Marioli]

Do you think your husband would see you different if he knew your weight in pounds? Would you see yourself different if you knew your true weight in pounds? He and you see yourself naked all the time, your family have also seen you countless times: there is nothing to hide! They know how you look!
Scales show numbers that´s all - no big deal.