All We Are Saying Is Give Peace... The Boot

The Iraq War is winding down (sort of), but the U.S. presence in Afghanistan is escalating.

Obviously, the "powers that be" don't want any of those pesky peace periods between wars. You can't feed the military-industrial complex and starve social programs in America when bombs aren't dropping somewhere.

But where will the U.S. next waste "blood and treasure" when the Afghanistan War ends in a few decades or so? We need a "shovel-ready" target to avoid letting even a day go by before having another "Operation (Fill in the Blank) Freedom."

One possibility would be to invade and occupy Cedar Grove, N.J. -- which borders the town I live in. Cedar Grove has a two-word name, like "Radical Islam," as well as a pet store that's chain-owned rather than family-owned. Actually, that pet store is in the town of Verona next to Cedar Grove, but, heck, faulty intelligence happens.

Attacking Cedar Grove would be difficult, though, because westbound tanks would have to rumble up a big hill to reach that community and thus might get poor gas mileage. Also, planes that considered strafing Cedar Grove would risk punching holes in the shampoo bottles at the local CVS.

Another possible place for the war that follows the Afghanistan War would be having it in Iraq again. Picture the Afghanistan War nestled between two Iraq wars, and you have a sandwich delis can only dream about.

Those are just two ideas for endless war; you may have some of your own. But the key is to never, ever have a day without military action as long as the U.S. exists. Given America's pathetic mass transit, you didn't expect the "peace train," did you?