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Don't Blame These Book Problems on the Author!

Posted: 10/18/11 12:01 PM ET

You love novels, but sometimes things connected to them can be annoying. So, with an affectionate nod to Peeves the Poltergeist of Harry Potter, here are a few book-related pet peeves that aren't the authors' fault.

Hollywoodized book covers. When a novel is turned into a movie, the cover of a new edition can reflect this. That leaves readers with, say, an image of a glamorous actress type on the front of Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre -- a wonderful novel with an admirable but decidedly UNGLAMOROUS heroine. Somehow I don't remember Ms. Eyre saying: "Excuse me, Mr. Rochester, while I put on my makeup and hair extensions."

Introductions that give away key plot points. These before-the-book essays are often interesting pieces often written by academics who often know their stuff. But they often offer way too much information. For instance, the introduction I read to Mary Shelley's The Last Man explained how two major characters would die in that gripping book. Save it for the afterword, Professor Spoiler Alert-Challenged!

Novels in which a scholar puts footnotes amid the book. If you're gonna have footnotes, stick them after the afterword! I just read The First Men in the Moon, and some pages had more footnotes than text from H.G. Wells' fascinating sci-fi novel. That hurt the reading flow. And, as is the case with some introductions, the footnotes prematurely revealed plot info. If Wells took The Time Machine to when those footnotes were written, he'd whack that scholar upside the head.

Abridged books. Some massive classics -- such as Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace -- are available in truncated versions. I can understand the reasons for that, but don't like to see an author's vision slashed. My feeling is either read a long novel in its entirety or stick with shorter novels. Got any Nancy Drew mysteries I can borrow?

Library books "abridged" by readers. I still remember taking out William Styron's Sophie's Choice from a New York City library branch many winters ago, and finding some pages missing after a previous borrower had ripped them out. If you want to feed the flames in your fireplace, use logs.

Stuff left in library books. Actually, I have mixed feelings about this. I'll give an old checkout slip a glance to see the person's reading choices before tossing the slip in the recycles. A leaf? A little bit of nature between the pages. But I'd rather not see your shopping or things-to-do lists, unless one of your things to do is "stop leaving things in books."

What are your book-related pet peeves?

 
 
 
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Maxiesid
09:39 AM on 10/21/2011
I enjoyed your list, AND found a few more books to add to my reading list in the comments section! Always a plus! I have already downloaded Stegner's Angle of Repose onto my Kindle and have no worries about the font size since I can set it at whatever font size I want. I know, I have broken the golden rule by mentioning a positive aspect of an ereader, but really... my eyesight had become so bad that I despaired of ever being able to just sit down for a good long read again. One of my favorite pastimes was no longer available to me, a nice fire in the fireplace, my comfortable reading chair, a stack of unread books on the lamp table calling to me.. all lost to one of those inevitable insults of aging. Or so I thought, until my daughter bought herself a Kindle.. I was horrified.. how could she use such a thing to read? She left it lying on the table and I picked it up, scoffing at it.. nothing like a book, this electronic thing.. so impersonal, no comfortable feel, no nice familiar scent... I turned it on to look and within minutes I was lost in the story and thrilled with the realization that, with this, I could read again!!! Another positive though, I never encounter those pet peeves that made me smile in agreement with you.
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Dave Astor
10:01 AM on 10/21/2011
Thanks for your great comment, Maxiesid! I'm glad you liked the list and found some to-read possibilities in the comments section. I've also put many books on my to-read list after seeing them mentioned by commenters, and most of the ones I subsequently read have been excellent! Good point about not having to worry about font size on an e-reader, and that e-readers eliminate some other book-related pet peeves. That's wonderful that those devices make it easier for you to read again! I still only read print books, but you've definitely listed some positive aspects of e-readers.
05:23 PM on 10/19/2011
Abridged books are weird, Tea Partyesque, in fact (Readers Digestesque, at any rate). I assume the point of abridgement is to remove everything that's thought-provoking and make it read smoothly and emptily. But my biggest pet peave is an earlier reader's notes, scrawls and underlinings. This is mostly a problem when I buy a used book. It puts another consciousness between me and the writer. Very disconcerting. I also don't like books that fall apart when I read them. Another hazard with the used variety, though I once had that happen with a new book. I also don't like bad editing: typos. Too many of them and it's like the book has acne.
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Dave Astor
07:27 PM on 10/19/2011
Thanks, Bob! Many excellent examples in your comment. Yes, I think there are definitely negative motives for abridging novels, although I suppose some publishers just want the books to be shorter in the hope they'll get more sales (while spending less on printing). While the notes of previous readers might be interesting, I think you put it very eloquently when you said it puts another consciousn­ess between you and the writer. Books that fall apart? Many typos? The stuff that nightmares are made of!
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threnodymarch
Art is long, life is short.
01:45 PM on 10/19/2011
I don't really see the point of abridged books. If you're going to invest the time and energy into deciphering the complexity of, say, Les Miserables or Don Quixote, what is the purpose of choosing a copy that omits characters and plot lines? If you're going to pick up one of those in the first place, then you already know what you're getting into. If you have to read something long that has been assigned in an academic setting, I could see the appeal. Otherwise, I think it shows a complete disregard for the author's intent and for the integrity of the novel overall.
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Dave Astor
02:42 PM on 10/19/2011
Eloquently put. Couldn't agree more. I've read the abridged and non-abridged editions of several novels, and I've always liked the complete versions better. For instance, this was the case with "The Count of Monte Cristo" and "Jane Eyre." In the latter case, I unfortunately read an edition that left out the whole St. John Rivers section in the second half of Charlotte Bronte's book. It may not have been the most gripping section of that novel, but I think it was crucial in the depiction of the Jane Eyre character and helped set up the book's conclusion. Thanks, threnodymarch!
01:14 PM on 10/19/2011
I agree with Hollywoodized covers. I always try to buy the book before its cover is changed. I like original covers without the glamor of Hollywood! Also, and while I get why they do this it's a bit annoying to me, I get peeved when the back of the book is devoted to compliments for a different book. I get why you want to show that that author's books are great, but at least include reviews for THAT book!
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Dave Astor
01:37 PM on 10/19/2011
I also don't like it when the back of a book contains more blurbs for other books by the author than for the book one is about to read! Perhaps those different-book blurbs are best left for the inside-back portion of the book. Then, if you enjoyed the book in hand, you're primed to read the other blurbs to see which title to pick up next. Thanks for commenting, lg111!
08:57 AM on 10/19/2011
I concur with all of the above.

A few more:
Cookbooks, or any how-to book, that won't lay opened flat on the table while my hands are occupied doing what the book is telling me to do.

Nonfiction books without an index drive me nuts -- there's nothing more reader-unfriendly. This happens a lot with small niche publishers, I suppose as a cost-cutting measure.

Kindles. They make it impossible for me to snoop around my subway car every morning and evening to see what everyone's reading.
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Dave Astor
11:47 AM on 10/19/2011
A great set of pet peeves! I like cookbooks that are spiral-bound so they lay flatter than anything I'm cooking. Indexes (indices?) are very helpful. And I hadn't thought about how it's difficult to see what books other people are perusing when they're going the e-book-reader route. Excellent observation! Thanks, 3fingerbrown!
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Jerry Zezima
09:59 PM on 10/18/2011
Dave, I (SPOILER ALERT!) love this. I blame my own book's problems on (ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT!) me. Cheers (ONE LAST SPOILER ALERT!), Jerry
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Dave Astor
10:57 PM on 10/18/2011
I don't have a pet peeve against hilarious comments! Thanks, Jerry!
05:43 PM on 10/18/2011
When you open the book, the first thing you see is the Overture, leading to Act 1 in the book. But often you see in the very beginning a note from the author thanking his parents, his agent, his dog and his children. I mean, that really needs to go at the tail end of the book, when the readers who stuck with you all the way through, well, they care about your inspirations. But when you open a book, the curtain goes up and what should be on that stage is your very best stuff.
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Dave Astor
06:39 PM on 10/18/2011
Thanks, Dave! That's a good point, eloquently expressed. I like to see a brief dedication in the front of a book, with all the rest of the thanking the author wants to do in the back, as you say.
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Steve Kettmann
Berlin-based writer
01:51 PM on 10/18/2011
Small type and insufficient letting - horrible, and not the writer's fault. Another example: Posthumous editions of books that might better have been left published. That is one not to blame on the writer, whose major offense was ... dying without burning - or completing - that manuscript.
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Dave Astor
03:04 PM on 10/18/2011
Small type and insufficient letting really irk me, too. Perhaps those publishers are trying to save money on paper costs, but they're not doing their readers any favors. And that's an excellent point about posthumous editions. They might be worth publishing in some cases, but not in others. It's often just a let's-try-to-make-more-profit thing. Thanks for commenting, Steve!
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Dave Astor
03:38 PM on 10/18/2011
Steve, I was trying to think of unfinished novels worth and not worth publishing. I enjoyed F. Scott Fitzgerald's incomplete "The Last Tycoon," and thought Robert Louis Stevenson's unfinished "Weir of Hermiston" was by far the best thing that author ever wrote. On the negative side, Jack London's "Assassination Bureau Ltd" -- which in the edition I read was completed by another author -- was pathetic. And I love some of London's other books, including "The Call of the Wild," "White Fang," "Martin Eden," and "The Sea-Wolf."
01:12 PM on 10/18/2011
Small font that makes a book difficult to read, even if you're eyesight is good.

Denise
chistell.com
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Dave Astor
01:18 PM on 10/18/2011
A too-small font is definitely annoying. Thanks for mentioning that, Denise!
01:39 PM on 10/18/2011
Still haven't read Stegner's Angle of Repose, since I've been waiting for an edition with a readable font all these years. There's been a few more contemporary things I've been interested in, like Julian Barnes, but the font in the available editions puts me right off. Aaarrghh!
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Dave Astor
02:54 PM on 10/18/2011
That IS frustrating. On the flip side, sometimes when I'm looking for a specific title in the library, the only thing available is a large-type edition. After that, a normal-size font looks small until I get used to it again after a few minutes! Thanks for commenting, Patrick!
12:12 PM on 10/18/2011
Howdy, Mr. Astor!

-- Novels in which a scholar puts footnotes amid the book. --

This point shows the multifaceted genius of Jorge Luis Borges. He avoided these kinds of shenanigans not only by eschewing the novel form in its entirety but also by inserting his own footnotes in his short stories. Win-win!

MugWeAreTheBorgesResistanceIsFutileRuith1
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Dave Astor
12:23 PM on 10/18/2011
Very clever man, that Jorge Luis Borges! I'm currently reading "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao," and Junot Diaz also puts some of his own footnotes in his great book. But the footnotes are used sparingly, are often funny, give very useful/interesting historical information about the Dominican Republic, are not pedantic, and ... it was Diaz's decision to put them in! Thanks for writing, MugRuith!
02:53 PM on 10/18/2011
Howdy, Mr. Astor!

-- I'm currently reading "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao," and Junot Diaz also puts some of his own footnotes in his great book. --

Wao! I really should pay more attention to those Pulitzer Prize winners. Thanks for mentioning Mr. Diaz, who is new to me (even though I also was a Jersey guy in several past lives). I will check out this book.

MugLivingInThePastRuith1
11:58 AM on 10/18/2011
Had a great laugh with the reference to "Hollywoodized" paperback covers; absolutely relatable! Even the nefarious, though occasionally inconspicuous, "Now a major motion picture" sticker slapped on the original cover can be a tad annoying. Hey, whatever sells.

On another note, I love little findings in library books! Notes, highlights, and other miscellany from other hands can be subtly enjoyable...much to the chagrin of the librarian, I'm sure!
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Dave Astor
12:30 PM on 10/18/2011
Thanks, Justin! Those "Now a major motion picture" mentions ARE kind of annoying, but I can of course understand why they're used. The author (if living) probably doesn't mind, as long as the movie does some kind of justice to her or his book! Would like to see a "Now a minor motion picture" sticker one day...
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Mizz Givens
I'm only mean 'cause you're stupid.
11:50 AM on 10/18/2011
I hate-hate!-grammar and punctuation errors. Poor writing is terrible; grammar, punctuation, and spelling mistakes are inexcusable.
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Dave Astor
12:03 PM on 10/18/2011
Have to agree, though I'm occasionally guilty of some of those things myself! Thank you very much for commenting, Mizz Givens!
01:14 PM on 10/18/2011
Likely the sign of an editor asleep at the wheel. Writers aren't always the best with spelling and grammar, but editors supposedly are.
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Dave Astor
01:23 PM on 10/18/2011
Good point, dtwrites. I wonder if staff reductions at some publishing houses have something to do with this.