11/09/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Obama to Join the Republican Party?

Barack Obama has tried to make the GOP happy. He appointed Republicans to high posts, expanded the U.S. presence in Afghanistan, never pushed for a single-payer health plan, helped greedy financial institutions more than the unemployed, waffled on gay rights, offered tax deductions for pet elephants, etc. By now, Obama should be on the GOP's Mount "Rush-More" along with Rush Limbaugh, Rush Limbaugh, and Rush Limbaugh.

But despite the president's bipartisan approach, Republicans continue to obstruct and denounce him -- meaning there might be only one thing left for Obama to do. Is that one thing to become a more partisan Democrat fighting tooth and nail for the much-needed changes a clear majority of voters elected him to enact? Ha! That would hurt the feelings of people who would rather vote for Satan (a former veep?) than a Democrat. Maybe the only thing left for Obama to do is ... become a Republican.

Obama could announce his party switch during his health-care speech tonight, or perhaps later. Given the commander in chief's legendary decisiveness, "later" could mean this October, this November, this December, sometime in 2010, sometime in 2011, sometime after that, or never.

You might think the GOP would continue to obstruct and denounce a Republican Obama, because he'd be sort of a moderate in a mostly conservative party. But no. Republicans love having a few people of color in their ranks, as long as it's very few. It gives a microscopic veneer of diversity to a party so white that last year's Republican National Convention looked like the proverbial polar bear in a snowstorm (minus the polar bear, who died because of the climate change many Republicans say doesn't exist).

So Obama -- a good man with a fatal attraction to compromising with people who don't want to compromise -- would be welcome to join GOP national chair Michael Steele, former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and the tiny group of other non-white Republicans. But Michelle and the kids aren't guaranteed entry into the fold, because the GOP might feel four Obamas of color bring a little too much diversity.

If he joined "the party of Lincoln and not much thinkin'," Obama's job would become easier. As was shown during the Bush and Reagan administrations, Democratic congresspeople vote with a Republican president more than Republican congresspeople vote with a Democratic president. So a GOP Obama could get lots of Democratic support for legislation. Of course, most of that support would come from centrist and conservative Dems, and the resulting legislation would probably be weak. But Obama's dream of bipartisanship would come true, even if Americans' dream of real change wouldn't.