The Relaxed-Fit Pants Guy is mad as hell and he's not going to take it anymore!
Even though President Obama has been too deferential to America's big-money men, many liberals hesitate to criticize him. But not the Relaxed-Fit Pants Guy!
Here's The Huffington Post's brief but exclusive interview with the man also known as the Stretchy-Trousers Troubador:
HUFFINGTON POST: What's your beef with Obama?
RELAXED-FIT PANTS GUY: He's as slim as dental floss. If Americans emulate Obama by losing weight, sales of my expandable slacks will tumble!
HP: Oh, so your opposition to Obama has nothing to do with his pandering to Wall Street or his sending more U.S. troops into Afghanistan?
RFPG: I can't stomach those things, either. But mostly I can't stomach American stomachs getting smaller if everyone becomes as thin as Obama.
HP: So what's the solution?
RFPG: With every regular pair of pants I sell, I'm now pouring delicious, high-calorie milkshakes into the pockets for the wearers to drink. By the time they need trousers again, my customers will HAVE to buy the relaxed-fit kind.
HP: But milkshakes and pants don't go together!
RFPG: Of course they do. Vanilla milkshakes in white pants, chocolate milkshakes in brown pants, pistachio milkshakes in Kermit the frog's pants.
HP: Any last words?
RFPG: Bon appetit!
Well, there you have it, folks. Relaxed-Fit Pants Guy is a liberal with the gut -- er, the guts -- to criticize a president for leaving many Americans hungry for real change. And hungry people are NOT a prime demographic for expandable slacks.