Waterboarding Leads to this Tortured Blog Post!

Little Timmy was in trouble. He had swiped a candy bar from Mr. Bob's corner grocery store, and now his parents knew about it. The dreaded "time out" was imminent. As his Obama-supporting parents eyed him sternly, Timmy blurted out: "I also waterboarded Mr. Bob yesterday!" His parents were thwarted. They could no longer punish little Timmy.

Our Democratic president doesn't want to punish CIA operatives even though Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was reportedly waterboarded 183 times. When thinking about the Bush administration-sanctioned use of this brute force, I wondered how the torture guys decided on the 183 figure. Was it some kind of homage to Hank Greenberg driving in 183 runs in 1937? After all, Greenberg was baseball's first Jewish superstar, and Israel has a big impact on U.S. foreign policy. Or did the torturers have a secret "Hank-ering" to become members of 183 Club, the Taiwanese boy band? Maybe not -- the CIA doesn't like to star in videos.

Then I realized that the word "waterboarded" has 12 letters, and that 1 plus 8 plus 3 equals 12. Coincidence? I think not. But if the CIA waterboarded me, perhaps I would change my mind and think it WAS a coincidence. Although torture doesn't elicit reliable information, so the 12-12 comparison may not be a coincidence after all.

I also reminded myself that waterboarding is a "near-drowning technique." Perhaps that's one reason why "Waterboarding" hasn't joined "Guppy" and "Minnow" as a kid swim course at the "Y"?

This blog post is a bit haphazard, but it's hard to write coherently when one is upset! I'm upset that there might be no punishment for the people who waterboarded prisoners and for the people who authorized this torture. They're getting away with a very serious crime, and CIA operatives might torture again in the future because they won't fear prosecution. I still think that if Nixon had been jailed in '74, George W. might have thought twice about some of the shenanigans he pulled three decades later.

As for little Timmy, he's pondering the effectiveness of waterboarding after Mr. Bob confessed to flying a plane into the Lighthouse of Alexandria in 280 B.C.

Comments

[Eric Strattoniii]

To compare water boarding to beheading, burning, rape, electrical shock, etc..is a stretch. That is the worst thing we do and somehow that is the same? Also, let's be honest, if we obeyed the rules of the Geneva Conventions on these guys we can shoot them, go look up what is says about foreign fighters, non-uniformed, etc..and what you can do to them. The argument that our enemies will do it to us if we do it is also moot, everyone we have fought since the Geneva Convention has come into being has tortured our guys! I am not saying that this makes it ok to do but the moral relevancy and arguments used against this are almost disturbing as the water boarding itself. It shows a great deal of ignorance, naiveness and basic silliness.
Also, really, unless you have grabbed a gun and gotten in the game or have a relative in the service, I think most of the arguments that claim to be concerned about our troops are false and that the troops just happen to be a convenient cover.
If you want to argue against REAL torture, fine, but at least do it in an honest, realistic way that does not try to equate what we do to what the Taliban, AQ or really anyone we have had a conflict with in the last 60 years or use the troops as a red herring to mask your real hatred of the past administration.

[Dave Astor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Eric,
Thanks for your comments. You're right -- there are worse things than waterboarding. I never called it the equivalent of beheading, etc. But, at the risk of sounding simplistic, waterboarding is still torture and it's still horrible. And I don't believe using that "enhanced interrogation technique" made the U.S. any safer or extracted any useful information from the tortured prisoners.
Best wishes, Dave

[Imago]

Eric, your comments would make a great deal more sense if the military itself hadn't strenuously objected to waterboarding and the abandonment of the Geneva Convention guidelines. So they don't think this argument is moot -- which makes your rather tiresome "you don't get to have an opinion unless you're in the military" point also moot. Caring about troops can actually include wanting to do everything possible to get them home in one piece, whether one is military leadership or a citizen of this country.

The vast majority of people in the intelligence community agree that to get meaningful information from captives, this kind of violence doesn't work. How many Americans, if they suffered through torture, actually gave meaningful information to their captors?

If we act like barbarians, we are barbarians. Where's our moral authority then? How are we the good guys any longer? Our place in the world has been bolstered for over a hundred years by claiming the honor of a democratic society. If we terrorize people, anyone, even our enemies, how are we different from those we call terrorists?

[Dave Astor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Imago,
What an eloquent and persuasive set of comments you posted. Thank you.
Best wishes, Dave

[LincolnParkChicago]

"as a red herring to mask your real hatred of the past administration."

No mask is necessary. They are criminal. Beyond anything I ever imagined possible.
Millions have died and millions more were injured by their schemes.

[Dave Astor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi LincolnParkChicago,
Yes, the people running the U.S. from 2001 to this past January were something else. Worst. Presidential. Administration. Ever. Thanks for noting that there are real reasons for having a real hatred of what the past administration did
Best wishes, Dave

[MugRuith1]

Howdy, Eric Strattoniii!

WWJBD? (What Would John Blutarsky Do?)

MugDDayRuith!

[MugRuith1]

Howdy, Mr. Astor!

-- As for little Timmy, he's pondering the effectiveness of waterboarding after Mr. Bob confessed to flying a plane into the Lighthouse of Alexandria in 280 B.C. --

Hey! Given the nature of the godless Huffington Post -- per the usual suspects at the Fox News Channel -- shouldn't the reference be to "280 BCE" as opposed to "280 B.C."?

MugBesidesThePointRuith1

[Dave Astor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi MugRuith1,
I mentioned Babe Ruth in a previous humor piece, so God did make an appearance on The Huffington Post! Thanks, as always, for your clever comments!
Best wishes, Dave

[dsws]

Prosecuting the low-ranking personnel who did the dirty work would pose too much risk of making an example of someone and moving on. We need a methodical approach, wherein all necessary legal precedents are established, and the high-level people who set the agenda and gave the orders are the ones who get prosecuted. We also need to avoid even the appearance of political vindictiveness.

[Dave Astor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi dsws,
Thanks for your comments. Having "the high-level people who set the agenda and gave the orders ... get prosecuted" would be a very good thing. Just prosecuting lower-ranked people would be a repeat of what happened after Abu Ghraib.
Best wishes, Dave

[Dave Astor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi hankelvis,
Thanks for your comments. I appreciate hearing from you. Yes, some Muslims have done awful things but some Christians (Bush, Cheney, etc.) have also done awful things (though our former president and former vice president authorized others to do the dirty work). And I'm not a fan of CNN!
Best wishes, Dave

[hankelvis]

If any Bush people get prosecuted, so will everyone else. The level of Muslim barbarism such as beheadings of Americans after she was viciously attacked was the worse faced by any country.
Those prisoners could have been legally condemned to death without a jury and without right of appeal. This would have served a greater purpose. It is good to know that you are free and are still able to express CNN's opinions.