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Whatever It Is, Republicans Are Against It!

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When congressional Republicans oppose President Obama on almost everything, they argue that they're doing so for legitimate reasons -- not because they're just being anti-Barack or anti-Democrat.

So we decided to test this thesis by suggesting various pieces of legislation any sincere politician would favor to see if at least some congressional Republicans would cross party lines to vote with the Democratic majority.

-- Congressional Democrats urge Wall Street bankers to return their undeserved bonuses, but all Republicans vote no. (GOPers say they need to support their loyal southern base, and Wall Street is in southern Manhattan.)

-- Congressional Democrats commend the Ford Motor Company for not taking federal money, but all Republicans vote no. (GOPers say Henry Ford, when running for the U.S. Senate in 1918, didn't denounce Bill Clinton.)

-- Congressional Democrats belatedly congratulate Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band for their great Super Bowl halftime show, but all Republicans vote no. (GOPers say George W. Bush and the K Street Band should've appeared instead.)

-- Congressional Democrats praise puppies and kittens, but all Republicans vote no. (GOPers say animals don't wear American flag pins on their lapels.)

-- Congressional Democrats call for support of mom and apple pie, but all Republicans vote no. (GOPers say mom and apple pie weren't listed in alphabetical order.)

-- Congressional Democrats commend the sun for shining, but all Republicans vote no. (GOPers say the sight of people wearing sunglasses reminds them of Hollywood liberals.)

-- Congressional Democrats decide not to outsource the air every American breathes, but all Republicans vote no. (GOPers say Democrats wouldn't outnumber them any more if every American got asphyxiated.)

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If you have your own Republicans-will-vote-against-anything scenario, please post it!