Diablo Cody and Amy Winehouse Agree to Morph; Agent Envisions "New Standard of Cool"

(BUSINESS WIRE)--Feb. 27, 2008 In a deal that marks yet another consolidation of industry superpowers, award-show dominators Diablo Cody and Amy Winehouse have morphed into a single celebrity. The repulsive-yet-oddly-titillating entity, which will be called Diablo Cathouse, was introduced by CAA superagent Bryan Lourd at a press conference in Beverly Hills yesterday.

"This will be more than 15 minutes of fame + 15 minutes of fame = 30 minutes of fame," said Lourd, who arranged the morphing at UCLA medical center. "This is synergy. We're talking liveblogs from court-ordered rehabs. Danceable songs about hamburger phones. The combined war stories and dysfunction will generate an unparalleled quantity of screenplays, songs, new media, defiant cigarette smoking, and coolness. We'll have a clothing line called 'Ironic.'" Lourd looked at his charge and beamed, "Am I happy? How would you feel if your client was a drug-addicted former exotic dancer who'd won 5 Grammy Awards and an Oscar in the last month, and there are nude photos of her all over the internet? She's got a blog called pussyranch, and there's a picture of her falling down drunk in the Daily Mail every other day ! "

A spokesman for the freshly morphed Cathouse said, "Diablo and Amy were each able to individually parlay a combination of talent and skank into superstar heat--together, they'll be unstoppable. It's a triple threat that looks like it has crabs--that's a combination the studios'll be pelting with money."