Everyone Has Advice for Obama

10/16/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Everyone knows what Obama should do to win, me too.

Steve Gillmor says he should throw caution to the wind and do some nutty things. After all, if it worked for McCain it might work for him. Sing a few bars of Me and Bobby McGee to get in the mood.

Use more women surrogates and listen to how they do and if they do well, use them more. Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Claire McCaskill were great yesterday on CBS and ABC respectively.

Get some Republicans to defect. I bet now a bunch of them are privately very pissed. I bet you even know who they are. Send them a pointer to this blog post. Let's have fun making our country great again. Republicans are welcome too. ";->"

More celebrities! Matt Damon did a great passionate bit. Hey come to think of it, actors are good at this sort of thing. Get more actors. Wasn't SNL great! Who said celebrities were bad? Oh that's right, he's your enemy. Fuck him. Celebrities are good!! Take some of the most popular celebrities with you on the road. Surprise people about who you show up with. Heh. That might be the best idea on this page.

If you do something that McCain doesn't like, do more of it.

I would say try to ignore McCain if possible or as much as possible. Let the surrogates trash him. Let bloggers like me trash him. See the next bit for an idea why you should not be down in the mud yourself on this.

It's okay to say McCain might die in office. It's not ageism, it's an issue. But let surrogates do it like McCaskill did it on This Week.

When something happens like Lehman going under, pretend it's a year from now and you won. Say what President Obama would say. You're good at that. Explain it in simple terms, but respectfully, and let us know what really happened. If the Republicans fucked up, it's okay to say that, but say it the way a President would. But most important think of ways you can help us. Voters appreciate shit like that.

Put a FAQ on your site that explains how to keep your money safe. Don't ask me to give you money on that page.

While we're on the topic of money, can you make it a game where our side wins! I want to help you break the $100 million barrier this month. But please please tell me how we're doing. How can you be a fan if you don't know the score? Keeping us in the dark on this doesn't build confidence that President Obama will clue us in when there's a problem. Remember, you're the guy who says you want us to do stuff that's good for the country. Right now you're it buddy. Trust us, we're really on your side (and the enemy can't raise money this way so this is one bit of info you can safely share with us, we won't let you down).

BTW, once we break $100 million, let's go for 1/4 of a billion!

And how about some cool new uses of all that money. Advertising isn't the only way to spread the love, you know. How about using a teeny bit of that money to build and staff a school in New Orleans?

I need Obama clip art for my blog.

Also by the way, I'd like to listen in on your conference calls. I've been asking for months, politely. Come on get a clue, we can help you communicate if you'd just listen a bit. Reserve a few spots for bloggers on your press plane. Not the kind of bloggers that work for corporate media, guys who do it for free because they believe in something.

For Joe Biden, John McCain is NOT YOUR FRIEND and stop saying he is and stop calling him JOHN. We're really tired of all you guys playing inside baseball with each other. John McCain is not a friend of mine. If he called me up to go cross the country I'd tell him to fuck off.

And Joe, you're a really nice guy, I get it, but drop the Ladies and Gentlemen thing. It's very old fashioned. Take a deep breath instead, cause I think that's what's really going on.

Barack you need more running mates. See the bit about celebrities above. It's important though to get them on the record first on the web so you know which ones are hits with the voters.

For all Democrats, it's time to stop saying John McCain is a hero who loves his country. I didn't like it when you said it repeatedly at the convention. You can say that after you win the election if it makes you feel better, but I don't think you're going to want to.

Get this guy to do an ad for you. ";->"

Get everyone on your campaign to watch Al Pacino's speech to his team in Any Given Sunday. Right now. Before doing anything else.

I want BarackTV, a site I can go to with live video of a campaign event going on right now. It's what I'm going to switch to when McCain comes on CNN. (Already 3 times this morning, to 0 for my team.)

More later...