ST. CLOUD, MN -- An undercover investigative report has revealed that the clinic run by Marcus Bachmann, the husband of Republican Presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann, attempts to cure migraine headaches through the power of prayer.
A former patient who suffered from crippling migraines revealed that he was told that prayer could relieve him of his urges to suffer from debilitating headaches and "re-orient" him into "mainstream, Christian society."
"My counselor told me that having migraines was a choice, and a sinful choice, at that," said Andrew Alegre, a patient at Bachmann's clinic for nearly three months. "My therapy was to read the Bible and to hope that I would no longer have headaches. He told me God would forgive me for wanting to suffer from migraines."
Viral video footage shows a Bachmann associate telling Alegre that it is normal for men to want not to suffer from debilitating headaches that take their minds off of women's cleavage and ass-cracks, and that dwelling on women's sexual organs can relieve them of the pain commonly associated with migraine headaches. Failing that, the counselor chortled, dwelling on women's sexual organs "sure can't hurt under any circumstances, ya know what I'm sayin'?"
The Bachmanns declined to comment for this story, though Marcus Bachmann, in a 2006 interview with The Pennysaver, the only newspaper that gave his practice much credence back then (and perhaps only because he took out a full-page ad in their pages), declared, "Migraine sufferers are barbarians whose transgressions against God threaten to turn normal people against Him. Once people hear how 'cool' it is to have a migraine, everyone will want to have one."
Michele Bachmann declined to comment on her husband's practices, instead offering praise of his business concerns. "We're very proud of our business and all job creators in the U.S.," she said, "except for anyone creating jobs for the media."
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