My mother never particularly liked Mother's Day. The sentiment always struck her as unctuous, akin to the scriptural passages frequently read at women's funerals: "A woman of valor who can find? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, and he hath no lack of gain. She doeth him good and not evil all the days of her life." Mom made us swear no one would read it at her funeral.
Not that she ever would have identified herself as unhappy with motherhood or honoring mothers. Born in 1919 and predisposed to voting Republican, she was uncomfortable with early feminism of the 1960s.
But had she known of Julia Ward Howe's early effort at establishing a Mother's Day through her 1870 "Appeal to Womanhood Throughout the World", my Nixon-supporting-turned-Another-Mother-For-Peace mother would have signed up. These words of Howe's would have been right up her alley: "Arise, all women who have hearts whether your baptism be that of water or of tears! Say firmly: We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We, women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country, to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."
A child of the Depression, Mom must have thought the 1934 sentiments of Franklin Roosevelt's Mother's Day Proclamation made sense as well: "Whereas [Congress has declared that] there are throughout our land today an unprecedentedly large number of mothers and dependent children who, because of unemployment or loss of their bread-earners, are lacking many of the necessities of life," President Roosevelt called on Americans to show love and reverence for motherhood by "doing all that we can through our churches, fraternal and welfare agencies for the relief and welfare of mothers and children who may be in need of the necessities of life."
Since my mother passed away in the early 1990's, there is no way to know what she would make of Barack Obama. But this year's presidential Mother's Day proclamation would have resonated with a woman who co-owned a department store, helped build a synagogue, organized newspaper recycling drives before there was Earth Day, and yet was still expected to deal with all things related to children and food in the household.
"Women often work long hours at demanding jobs and then return home to a household with myriad demands," proclaimed President Obama. "Balancing work and family is no easy task, but mothers across our Nation meet this challenge each day, often without recognition for their hard work and dedication. The strength and conviction of all mothers--including those who work inside and outside the home--are inspiring. They deserve our deepest respect, admiration, and appreciation."
I wish my mother had lived to hear this sort of unsentimental but real respect and acknowledgment of what she (and millions of women for decades) endured and accomplished as a mother, and what so many other mothers accomplish every day. That's a Mother's Day that Mom would have liked.
David Abromowitz is a Senior Fellow at the Center for American Progress. On Mother's Day his thoughts turn to Rosalind Samotin Abromowitz, 1919-1992.