A Peek at Chicago's 'Hidden Rich' (Warning: Mature Content Matter)

They used to lament "the hidden poor" in this country.

I think the bigger blind spot these days is "the hidden rich." I think we're easily shocked by their numbers and by the scope of their excesses--especially in Chicago, with its lunch-bucket self-image. Even if you're reasonably well off, Chicago neighborhood life yields more contact with the very poor than the very rich.

But sometimes you get unlucky, as I did the other day, when my wife wrote me, "Check out the email from Montessori today. Holy shit."

We pay about $15,000 to send my five-year-old daughter to a private Montessori school, because my wife, who teaches in a public charter school, knows all too intimately that public schools don't deliver a modicum of the tender love our little baby gets at home, let alone the thoughtful Montessori education we want for our only child.

So we bite the bullet. But the bullet isn't all.

Every year the school holds what it preciously calls a "Galaesque," to raise funds in addition to the massive tuition. This year my wife coordinated a project that produced a kid-made quilt for the live auction. Last year, we gave money to pay for a teacher to be able to attend.

But we wouldn't think of going ourselves. (The less we see these people, the less likely we are to feel hatred or envy, either of which might upset our fragile socioeconomic equilibrium.) When confronted by the school's founder and forceful "directress," my wife says, "We're not black-tie people." So far, the line has proven unanswerable.

So I'd ignored the all-parent e-mail previewing the items for the live auction.

But: Holy shit, indeed.

Among the "packages" listed:

International Humanitarian Experience
Travel to South Africa to work as a family on a humanitarian project! Tickets to Johannesburg Zoo and Golf Reef City, and guided tour of Nelson Mandela Square and African Craft Museum. You will have an exquiste [sic] 1150 SF hotel suite at the Park Hyatt with Butler Service and in-room babysitting!

Instant Wine Cellar
102 bottles of wine from families at the Academy, each with its own special story of how the bottle made it to the lot. One year of wine storage at East Bank Storage, and an in-home party hosted by Sommelier Perry Fotopoulos (founder of the Randolph Wine Cellar).

Ultimate Bears Fanatic
Two Tickets to December 22, 2008 Bears vs. Packers night game at Soldier Field; sit in the broadcasting booth for one full quarter with Marv Albert. Seven hours limo service from VIP Valet Services, plus dinner at Mortons' Chicago.

Stay for 1 Week with [the directress]'s Mom
Relax Caribbean style on the beautiful island of St. Croix with [the directress]'s own mom. Enjoy the finest of warm Italian hospitality, as [the directress]'s mom hosts you and your family for one week in their award winning coastal home. Also included, breakfast each day, a special sail to Buck Island on [the directress]'s mom's boat, and SCUBA lessons for two from Dive Experience.

The Best Dinner Party Ever
Imagine hosting a dinner party at your home with 10 of your closest friends, and you don't have to lift a finger. Dinner will be cooked in your home by Mark Mendez--head chef of Carnivale and entertainment will be provided by Acoustic Guitarist Jennifer Trowbridge. Treat your guests in style, and enjoy memories of the whole evening with professional photography from the [the school]'s own Kia Hinz.

Year of Me
All of life's little accommodations [sic] taken care of for an ENTIRE YEAR, such as: Wine delivered to your home once a week, a personal chef to come to your home once per month to cook for you and your family, a special birthday party for up to 25 friends to be hosted at the Kavi Gupta Gallery, champagne and cocktails included, personal shopper to help you through important events and meetings, and 52 weeks of 15 hours per week of a personal assistant to schedule meetings, events and run errands for you!! If that's not enough, you'll also get one year of spa and salon services provided by Beauty Mark Salon and Urban Spa Chic, a year of massages, a one year membership to CRUNCH fitness, etc ... all of this, plus your very own parking space at [the school]!!

Chicago Celebration
Hate the idea of going away to have a vacation? This package allows you and a special friend to have it all while staying in your own home town! Enjoy the best that Chicago has to offer--hotel stay at the Drake, dinners at Powerhouse and N9NE, 3 hour chauffeured ride in 1964 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud, horse and carriage ride from Noble Horse, 4 tickets to the FINAL performance of WICKED, and lunch for 4 beforehand at SEPIA.

Prince/Princess Package
Turn your child(ren) into a superstar for a day. Have a special A&E styled documentary made about your child courtesy of Moxie Post. Once the film is complete, invite your closest friends to join you for the red carpet premier in the Theater Building Chicago! Dress your child in style thanks to Bullfrogs and Butterflies. This package also includes a special "Academy Styled" birthday party to be hosted by [three school staffers] as well as a special photography session with Audrey Woulard!

What would they offer if we weren't in a recession?

If you're like my wife and me, you're trying to catch your breath right now. But wait: There's one item I didn't share.

"One Year of Academy Teacher & Staff Babysitting. Once a week for the full year of December 2008-November 2009. Exact dates and times to be coordinated between parents and staff members."

That's right. It's not enough that the school's teachers and staffers give their work lives to your children's education for a salary that wouldn't pay for a luxury humanitarian experience. No, the Cinderellas also have to babysit the kids while you live out your ultimate Bears fantasy.

Holy shit!

I just hope--no, never mind, it's impossible. It would just be too absurd. But I can't help but worry--no, I shouldn't! But I do! Is it possible ... that any of these parents who attended the Galaesque and bid on the "Year of Me" are the same people who, in boring conversations at "The Best Dinner Party Ever," cite studies that prove it doesn't work to "throw money at the schools"?

No. No chance. Yes, the rich are different--and, thankfully, they are also largely hidden--but they're not quite the monsters I conjure when I imagine a family working on a luxury humanitarian project in Africa with butler service and in-room babysitting.

Are they?

Comments

[easarsfield]

Personally, I'm the product of upper middle class suburban parents that decided to send me to a private school in the city for an over-priced Catholic education. Fortunately for my younger siblings, my parents finally realized that the public schools in the 'burbs offer a better education than a good portion of private Chi schools.

But I've noticed that there are two types of people that send their kids to private schools in Chi:

Those that are rich and fear what their children might be exposed to in a public school
and
The people that fall more into the middle class that send their children to private schools for better opportunities, better education, etc.

I know an awful lot of people that are NOT wealthy that send their children to Montessori - you're not alone. I'd go to their gala - a little networking never hurt anyone ;)

[Jurassic]

If it's a problem, just take your kid out of the school, no?

My feeling is that the school is basically just competing for attention from mostly very rich, very busy parents. For the most part, the items on the list are local and donated -- which is how most auctions operate successfully -- some of "extravagance" of everything is just in how it's worded and "packaged", which I imagine is necessary to ever catch the attention of the uber-busy parents.

And frankly, I'm happy they got the trip to South Africa in there -- if the kids see that part of the world, they WILL be exposed to other lifestyles, more than your average Chicagoan, most certainly. Just because Oprah goes to South Africa, doesn't mean there's hair-and-makeup, designer boutiques, and celebs on every corner. Au contraire, Johannesburg is one of the most dangerous cities in the world -- has the highest murder rate I believe. So, that "in-room babysitter" isn't necessarily a luxury as much a necessity.

I guess the author's sheltered life has shielded his eyes from what is really going on the world...

My advice: bid on the South Africa trip.

[RanceSpergl]

You wrote:
"I guess the author's sheltered life has shielded his eyes from what is really going on the world... "

What a crappy, obnoxious reply. Another Republican loser, bitter, resentful. Full of impractical unsolicited advice on how to run other people's lives, just like always.

[PennLawyer]

Pardon me while I retrieve my jaw from the floor! As a working single mom with 3 kids, I moved to a modest neighborhood in the region's (and state's) number 1 school district. My kids got a top drawer education in this public system, and have gone on to 2 & 3 degrees each (including Yale summa cum laude, Stanford and Columbia among their alma maters), and productive careers. I very seriously suggest you consider moving to a good public school district, and banking the private school tuition toward college expenses.

The uber rich are not comfortable around or welcoming to people with "average" incomes and less luxurious lifestyles. I'm thinking of children's birthday parties - the luxurious party "favors", the extravagant settings, etc., and the level of gift expected. I fear your child will be either excluded as NOKD (Not Our Kind Dear) or made to feel like the poor relation. And this will become much more evident to you and your child as she progresses through school. These kids will go not just to Vail for their winter break, but to Switzerland for the skiing. Your kid will be using pubilc transportation or riding a school bus; the wealthy kids will be picked up by chauffeurs or have their own BMWs.

[bn]

I feel for these people's children - how are they going to develop a balanced view of life in such a super-privileged environment?