Your life is a movie.
So is mine.
Every single frame of it.
It's how we view (and literally self project) our entire existence.
What we think is real, a true to life documentary, is in fact pure fantasy written, directed and shot by little old auteur you.
Your life, the one you think that you are experiencing, is any one of the films that are currently playing in the Octoplex of your head at 10, 12, 2,4,6 and 8 with a special midnight screening that we like to call "dreaming."
When life, the one that actually exists outside outside our cinematic skulls, suddenly begins to exert pressure on us and we feel like we can't cope, we leap from fantasy right to fantasy and go racing right for the real, actual movie theater, which has become the congregation of choice for virtually everyone of every faith.
Once we are all cozy comfy in our rocking pew seats we get to take on the darkness because the light of the movies shall heal you! Can I have an amen??
If you are in an Alamo theater, you get to pass the plate of pizza or chicken wings while sucking down a Diet Coke the size of the new Amazon Alexa. (Nutrition fact: Sooner or later the Coke will talk back to you too).
Movies are no longer our national escape.
They are as real to us as Navy Seals (whose adventures we have only seen in night vision movies).
Our outsized worship for superheroes is exactly what the average WWE audience member feels, even though they know it is all fake, they still cheer their heroes on fervently while bashing their date over the head with a bridge chair.
It may not be real justice, but damn it feels just like the one I like!
Movies have become our salvation. Our one true religion. The home of the Gods.
We used to elevate sports stars to the deity level, but insane salaries and syringes full of Biogenisis steroids have kind of messed with their image.
No, today we don't need men with bats. We need Batman. We need the kind of sullen or irascible hero who thinks with his fists and guns first.
The need for bigger than life superhero sized characters to rescue us is, is I think, what is behind the choices we are picking for president right now.
Do you really not think that it's a coincidence that Deadpool is, as we speak the hero du jour that everyone wants to see?
America is talking, friends. Deadpool is Donald Trump (who usually stars in the role of Donald Trump, whoever that is).
The GOP has Donpool on its hands.
Observe and compare:
Deadpool is an insensitive, loudmouthed, self-loathing freak who has little baby sized fingers (for at least a few minutes) and has a hot wife named Melania (okay, that's not true, but her name is Copycat, so take it from there).
Deadpool is crude and has no filter, He listens to no one, says whatever the hell he wants when he wants and his violent rhetoric is backed up by the sheer thrill that he gets while beating people into splattered bloody body pudding.
Do you really not see the resemblance?
Take away mask, the red tights, the swords and guns, add the blonde hair of a dainty Afghan Hound dog and you have yourself Donpool!.
This is the kind of hero that America wants. No...craves.
After spending the last 8 years watching the evil antics of Mitch McConnell, the GOP's very own Dr. Doom) along with his leering henchman Loki, played by the ISIS bearded Paul Ryan as they tried to destroy Obama's Finn at every single turn, with their death ray weapons of mass covert and implied racism, America has finally had it up to here with all the passive aggressive bullshit.
They want muscle bound mutants to take over the country.
And the only one to smash the bullshit to smithereens is Donpool and not., I'm afraid, the Wizard of Oz himself, played with cheeky wit by the always adorable and bewildered, Berne Sanders.
Personally, I don't think he can even take Kansas as I'm guessing a Jewish Socialist's Kab-blah blah blah won't go over big there.
If Donpool was more substantial and real, if he spoke like any other politician, he would just become another Kasich who is basically the man of steel cut oatmeal.
The entire race for the white house season has felt to me like one movie trailer after another (the kind that theatres play before a movie) starring the kind of characters that we are used to seeing in any Disney films (which include Star Wars and Marvel heroes now).
Do you not expect Ben Carson, at any given debate moment, to not suddenly break out into a stirring rendition of "Zip-a- dee-d-da? Is Chris Christie not Br'er Bear? Is Ted Cruz not the fan loathed and endlessly irritating Jar Jar Binks? Is Marco Rubio not Frozen's Prince Hans in women's Florsheim boots?
To this film goer, Hilary is Katniss.
I honestly don't care if she is warm or real or fuzzy as long as she knows exactly where to aim her arrows and judging by how the GOP reacts to her, I'm guessing they are aimed straight for the Balls' Eye.
So take a step back before you get drawn into the Butterlfly McQueen frantic hysteria of CNN or Fox (which to me is like watching "Guardians of the Galaxy. Tell me that Bill O'Reilly isn't the perfect Drax the Destroyer?) and take this all in.
When you do, you too will believe that a person can fly.
Hey,, you may even vote for her.