In November, Rhode Island Governor Donald Carcieri made a move that surprised even his harshest critics -- my membership dues to that club being current -- by vetoing legislation that would have permitted domestic partners to claim each others' remains and plan each others' funerals.
State Senator Rhoda Perry and I sponsored the bill at the behest of our constituent, Mark Goldberg, whose partner's body went unclaimed for nearly a month in late 2008. (It's not gratuitous to mention that Goldberg's partner of 17 years had claimed his own life, for it makes clear just how flagrantly unconscionable were Carcieri's actions.)
As of Tuesday afternoon's veto override session, the law will stand in spite of the Governor's intransigence.
The legislation was construed to apply equally to gay and straight couples, quite possibly affecting more of the latter. But the governor saw it as yet another poisoned barb in gay rights activists' bottomless quiver, asserting that "this bill represents a disturbing trend over the past few years of the incremental erosion of the principles surrounding traditional marriage."
Perhaps he was bolstered by the overturning of marriage equality in Maine just days before the veto. Were Rhode Islanders more fundamentalist in their Catholicism -- RI is the nation's most Catholic state -- it might have played well to the very conservative Republican's conservative base, if he still has one. But with a majority or near majority of Rhode Islanders supporting gay marriage, and with only one member of the legislature voting against the measure -- and therefore with dozens of opponents of marriage equality voting in favor of it -- the maneuver amounted to a self-inflicted gubernatorial face-plant.
The backlash was swift and sharp: When pressed on the matter, even the chair of the state GOP declined to support Carcieri. The governor's been quick to make the rounds on cable news in support of his anti-immigrant agenda or his fiscal austerity measures, but it wasn't until the revelation of his fear of the "gay death-style" that his mug landed on the Colbert Report.
So too has the National Organization for Marriage weighed in, accusing Goldberg of playing patsy to the cynical gay rights movement -- or even worse, knowingly exploiting his partner's tragic passing:
Rather than being compassionate, the legislation in question is actually an exploitation of Mr. Goldberg's tragedy by the homosexual-marriage activists in Rhode Island. Despite their claims to the contrary, these bills serve simply as "Trojan Horses" for homosexual-marriage.
Even if Carcieri is against the measure in his frigid heart of hearts, the move was politically asinine. His veto will help the marriage equality effort far more than would have the alternatives, like letting the bill become law without his signature. It provides a stark signal for anyone who's still undecided about gay marriage: "I know I'm not on the same side as those cranks who wanted people to jump through hoops to claim the remains of their loved ones."
For that reason, NOM's revolting stand on this issue should be broadcast far and wide, wherever they work in opposition to gay marriage. The group's radically anti-gay agenda cuts much deeper than opposition to marriage equality: In this instance NOM has demonstrated a willingness to sacrifice the well-being of straight couples, just so gays don't achieve a meager increment of headway alongside them. I suppose every war has its collateral damage.
Please report NOM to the Southern Poverty Law Center, they keep the list of hate groups in the US.
http://www.splcenter.org/center/contact.jsp
Great post. Thank you.
Bravo to the Rhode Island legislature for having the courage to defend the civil rights of gay people despite having, I imagine, a conflicted constituency.
As for the predictably offensive statement released by N.O.M., I guess it pretty much dispels that whole, "but we're only opposed to ceding the word 'marriage'" narrative they've tried so hard to construct, doesn't it?
I'm really fed up with the immoral calling themselves "values" people.
Onward to equality, Joe Mustich, Justice of the Peace, Washington, Connecticut, USA.
And congrats to CT where we just celebrated the one year anniversary of our marriage equality law on 11/12.
1. Get your lawyer to assist in draft up a power-of-attorney for financial and healthcare matters. This should be done with two different people to help avoid conflicts of interest.
2. Get a living will and a last will and testment signed.
3. Name your significant other as your personal representative; leave a letter of instructions as to your personal wishes.
4. Name your significant other as a beneficiary on your life-insurance policy and any other financial documents or the funds from these securities will become part of your estate, unless you live in a state where unmarried or gay couples have rights as domestic partners.
5. If you have significant assets, get a lawyer or a certified financial planner to help you develop and implement a trust and make your significant other the trustee or beneficiay of the trust.
Do this and do it now while you are in good health and of sound mind. Have two or more unrelated adults of sound mind and body act as witnesses. Get all the witnesses, your lawyer and partner have copies of the documents. If you have a meddleston family member in the picture, send them a copy of the documents, so they are aware of your wishes.
John: It is true that it is easier to do those things if you have money, just as most everything is in a society such as ours that revolves around the almighty $$$. But...most of those documents can be found at nominal or no expense as templates online. And Suze Orman periodically offers the password to get them ALL free from her website. I know because that is how we did all of ours for under $50. The Health Care Directive and Power of Attorney are available for free all over the internet. Just google 'heathcare directive" and the name of your state. You'll find everyt hing you need. Good Luck!
And not every place or everyone will discriminate. My husband (married in Massachusetts, unrecognized here in our home Hawaii) brought me to the emergency room Saturday night. He had my healthcare directive and power of attorney in his pocket. BUT, as soon as he told them who he was and his relationship to me, he never had to pull either of them out and prove it. They immediately gave him all of the access a heterosexual spouse would get and ALL treated us with respect and dignity. There is progress happening.
Would legal marriage be better? Of course...and we should continue fighting for it, but change IS happening.