The BlogStyle

20 Things I've Stolen

I asked for and received a "tasting spoon" of mint pistachio ice cream, anticipating, correctly, that I would not like it.
By 

Author, Harvard researcher

Author, Harvard researcher
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

  • I took an extra napkin from a Taco Bell for unspecified use "later."

  • I sat on a bench on a hot day, enjoying the breeze as the man next to me fanned himself.

  • I read the headlines of a newspaper that was for sale in a kiosk box.

  • I divided a single-serving DingDong in two, and had it for dessert on two consecutive days.

  • I listened all the way through to a Metallica song emanating from my neighbor's radio, but closed my window when the commercial came on.

  • I remembered the movie times in my newspaper from the day before so I wouldn't have to buy a copy of the paper today.

  • When a friend's cat chose my lap to sit in, I petted it, precisely to discourage it from moving to the lap of its rightful owner.

  • I said "What a long, strange trip it's been" without air quotes.

  • On the Amtrak "quiet car," I listened to a man in the seat ahead of me explaining to the bored woman next to him how he gets such a great shine on his shoes. I have since used his technique, successfully.

  • I have stared carefully at reproductions of great paintings.

  • I asked for and received a "tasting spoon" of mint pistachio ice cream, anticipating, correctly, that I would not like it.

  • I smelled the aromatherapy candles in an aisle in the Stop 'n' Shop.

  • Frequently have I browsed stores with absolutely no intent to purchase. On some such occasions, I have felt fabrics I did not intend to buy.

  • I placed a bag on the seat next to me on the subway.

  • I continued to wear in public running shoes after the Nike "swoosh" wore off.

  • In a Italian restaurant, I entered their "win a free lunch" contest by putting into the jar a business card from a job I had recently left, with my new phone number written in by hand.

  • I have retold the joke about the man who meets a pirate in a bar without ever once explicitly acknowledging that I was not its author.

  • I gazed with lust at another man's bikini-clad wife.

  • I deeply inhaled the smell of popcorn in a movie theater, but I did not buy any.

  • One late summer evening, I purposefully and with intent committed to memory the purple of the clouds. That I still remember the edge of the chill was unpremeditated, however.

    • Related

    Style
    |
    Submit a tip

    Popular in the Community

    Close

    HuffPost Shopping’s Best Finds

    MORE IN LIFE