New Kids Say the Darndest, Most Afrocentric Things

Here's a true, shocking confession: I've always liked Kids. Not actual children -- other than my own two perfect sons, I can take or leave the little bastards.

No, what I'm talking is New Kids On The Block -- those crazy kids from Boston who put the "boy" in "boy band" back in the day when we could use expressions like "back in the day." Okay, maybe the Kids didn't actually invent the boy band -- but at the very least Jonathan Knight, Jordan Knight, Joey McIntyre, Donnie Wahlberg and Danny Wood helped put some Caucasian boys in the boy band business. Giving credit where credit is due, let's also collectively squeal like pre-teen schoolgirls for the now aging Kids' dreamy predecessors -- New Edition, the Jackson Five, the Osmonds and possibly John, Paul, George and Ringo too.

The first time that I ever met The New Kids On Block was at the peak of their popularity at the end of the Eighties. Joining them on their tour bus, I found myself feeling like the new middle-aged kid in middle school. Taking pity on this elderly gentleman then still in my twenties, Donnie Wahlberg kindly invited me to sit with him on the tour bus heading towards the next sold-out show at some Pennsylvania State Fair. The details get hazy here, but I vividly remember that Donnie was reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X with great interest when he wasn't taking time out to give me an advanced education on current trends in rap music.

Whatever prejudices I had going into meeting them, I soon found the Kids were all right. In particular, Donnie struck me then as being extremely cool -- sort of "The White Negro" that Norman Mailer once promised. As far as I know, Mailer never promised us "The White Boy Band," though I confess that I skipped a couple of Norm's later books.

The New Kids may not have been the most meaningful popular phenomenon I've ever been around, but it was definitely the loudest. I'll never forget not being able to turn on the light in my hotel room without hundreds of girls sleeping outside screaming because I was staying on the same floor with the young objects of their desire. Truth be told, I'll also never forget those multiple hot moms who offered even me sexual favors in exchange for my All Access Pass. For the record -- and for my wife who might be reading this -- I adamantly refused these propositions for reasons that are not entirely clear to me today.

I make no claim today to having been the Sixth New Kid -- though at the time friends did occasionally identify me as "Jew Kid On The Block." Hell, I'm not even certain if I was the first music writer to attempt to abbreviate New Kids On The Block to NKOTB. On the other hand, I'm pretty damn sure I was the first entertainment "journalist" to ever publicly dub the Kids' young female fan base as being "Blockheads."

Well, imagine my pride then when I just went to NKOB's revived website to check out the reaction to Friday's Today Show appearance confirming their reunion and found that one of their faithful had already written in proudly identifying herself as "a Blockhead." You know, ladies and gentlemen, it just feels good to have added a little something meaningful to the culture.

In February, Donnie called me up out of the blue to tell me that he had agreed to reunite with the guys if they made a new album they could proudly get behind rather than just trade on pure nostalgia. He invited me recently to the studio to hear what the Fab Five were doing and, truth be told, it sounded really great -- though now that I'm in my forties, they say the hearing starts to go.

Those Kids are all grown up now, with some kids of their own to support. So good luck, guys, you deserve your Second Coming -- especially because you weren't little pricks the first time around.

From Jew Kid On The Block to New Kids On The Block, thanks for the memories and mazel tov.

Comments

[SkimaskBob]

great post

[wendyuk]

This is the best thing to have happened in 14 years. New Kids may not have been the first ever boyband but they were certainly the biggest and above all, they made a lot of people happy. They have never been forgotten, as evidenced by the fact that one fan club "Face The Music" (www.facethemusicfanclub.com) has been in existence now for nearly 15 years. We love you New Kids on the Block and thank you David Wild for a great article!

[DramaQueen101]

I remember being "forced" into fanhood by my sister... The music was catchy and the boys were adorable, so eventually I didn't mind being caught singing along... Just not in public! LOL

I just hope that their new album is more than just a nostalgia trip. If so, I may not hide my fanhood this time around.

[FearlessFreep]

NKOTB were like Nancy's friend Sluggo or the Sweathogs--tough but not "tough" tough. Tough enough to impress kids but not enough to scare parents, ie superficial "cute" tough.

The SOUTH PARK episode where they formed a boy band was funny.

[jenns29]

Thank you so much for this article. It's rare to find a journalist who will put aside their prejudices and given an objective opinion-- especially when it involves NKOTB.
I've became a fan at 7 and never forgot the positive influence they had on me. I'm ecstatic that they're giving it another go and can't wait to hear the new album!! These guys were always so great to their fans and it shows. Because 14 years later... we're all still here.
Our boys are back. And you best believe the Blockheads are right behind them.

[GrainOSand]

NKOTB is not for me. I am no fan of their music but I do not begrudge them their corporately created success. As one who grew up with groups like the Dramatics, the Temps, Curtis Mayfield and the Impressions, The J5, Enchantment, and so on and so on, it is difficult for me to see how years later, repackaged soul is better than original soul. It is difficult for me to see how Justin Timberlake could ever have the success he has had when Marvin Gaye did not enjoy such accolades when he was alive. Boz Scaggs, Michael McDonald, Herb Alpert, Hall and Oates, Tina Marie, Bobby Caldwell and on and on and on...these people had serious talent and yet they also did not receive the accolades thrust on InSync or Back Street Boys who come nowhere near their talent. This is not unprecedented though. Elvis was no Jackie Wilson yet Elvis got the fame and Jackie"s fame was marginal. Truth hurts like a MotherF*****.

Times have changed and now anything considered good must come out of a corporately backed manufacturing process. Gone are the days of the garage bands no one never heard of achieving super stardom because they did the hard work of playing the local scene and developing a real following that propelled them onto the national stage. I say to today"s musician do not let thoughts of fame compromise your talent. The gift of artistry is a gift indeed and the only affirmation you need.

[Vixen0932]

I loved NKOTB...as a young black girl...I'm very excited they are getting back together. They aren't New Edition or the Jackson 5 but I liked them

[ColbertGirl]

I an excited that the "Kids" Are reuniting. I can't wait to hear the album and finally get to see them in concert.