The Tweet Life: Please Follow Me Now, Or My Twitter Posse Just Might Kick Your Blogger Ass

Birth.

Marriage.

Parenthood.

Sure, those can all be fairly nice occasions, but when you come right down to it, does any other rite of passage in this Tweet life compare to the joy of getting your 1000th follower on Twitter? Thanks to Mr. Brad Paisley -- or as I like to call him @paisleyofficial -- I recently had the chance to answer this pressing 21st century question for myself. As it turns out, the answer is . . . HELL NO.

That's because all those other meaningful human experiences tend to be shared largely with people you really know, people you actually spend time with, people who see you as you are and not merely as you choose to present yourself in 140 characters or less at a time.

Sure, flesh and blood friends and family are well and good, but if you're ever going to become the semi-charismatic leader of your very own digital cult, you're going to need some followers. So earlier this year I started tweeting at @wildaboutmusic -- named after my really annoying high school paper record column -- and yes, Virginia, there really were records back then. I was inspired in part by my lifelong hero Neil Diamond who I was working with on a TV project. If He could be bothered to tweet, what was my excuse?

Somehow I avoided this social media stuff until recently. I have no interest in Facebook, possibly because my face is not my best feature. Okay, I technically have no best feature, but I have found that I do have an attention span and fleeting personality that's only good for about 140 characters.

When I hit 500 followers a month or two ago, my older son said, "That's creepy, Dad." I asked why, and he said, "Because you don't even know these people." How could I explain to this smart kid that's exactly why I love them so much -- and exactly why they might find me worthy of following.

Okay, my followers include some people who I actually have known: My best college buddy. My lovely prep school girlfriend -- soon followed by her husband who very wisely follows me even more closely. Eventually, my own beautiful wife started to follow me too -- until she lost all interest after about the first 50 characters. And that's okay. Real human contact may have its place in this world, but as a self-obsessed blowhard with delusions of new media grandeur, I'm not ultimately cruising for friends here -- I need followers, damn it! This is my space, damn it, so in the words of John Denver, "Follow Me," or in the words of the Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, "Get Off Of My Digital Cloud."

Here's what I've learned. If you, like me, are a wannabe leader looking for followers, nothing compares to being tweeted by a famous person. In my line of work, I meet even more celebrities than a rehab center receptionist, so it only makes sense that a few famous folks would follow me and even send the occasional tweet my way. Knowing famous people is very nice, especially for a Gold Medal name-dropper like me. But now I have learned the pure Twitter joy of basking in the reflected glow of far more talented people.

See a few weeks back, Brad Paisley -- one of my favorite artists in music today and a great guy to boot -- started to follow me, and even tweeted me about the fact that I'm writing the script for the upcoming Country Music Association Awards -- or the CMAs -- a fantastic annual TV event which Brad will host again with the lovely and talented Carrie Underwood on November 11th. Then this Tuesday night I found myself in New York packing for a very early morning flight back home to Los Angeles. Just before bed, I went on Twitter and noticed that I was only a few dozen short of 900 followers. Secretly, I began dreaming of getting 1000 followers by the end of this year, so I tweeted saying it would be lovely if I could have 900 followers by the time my plane landed the next morning.

With that I turned off my computer for the night, but within seconds, my Blackberry -- set to vibrate -- started a whole lot of shakin'. Brad -- also in New York where he was preparing to play Madison Square Garden -- immediately wrote a tweet encouraging some of his 71,000 followers to follow me as well. Almost instantly, I passed 900 followers, then 1000 followers. Thanks Brad for this awesome display of Paisley Power. Sorry Garth, but apparently it's also good to have friends in high places. As I write these words late Thursday night, I've just passed 1,250 people, most of whom appear to be actual humans, and not the just those come-hither porn bots who will follow anybody.

That was going to be my big ending, but @michellebranch -- another much more famous friend with more than 43,000 followers -- just wrote a tweet to report that somehow my tweets with Brad made the Nashville TV News tonight. I'm not quite sure what the news hook was -- perhaps "Namedropping Jerk Tweets Country Superstar. Details at 11." Michelle noted that they even showed my Twitter account picture on TV. Suddenly, all I can think about is getting even more followers. That Dow 10000 is nice, but what about my Twitter 2000? Suddenly 1000 doesn't seem like enough. When it comes to propping up an ego like mine, sometimes it takes a village, and to me, a village needs a few more people.

In closing, let me dare to ask another one of the truly important questions of our social media times: Anybody out there want to be my 2000th follower?

 

 

Follow David Wild on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Wildaboutmusic

Comments

[Aramingo]

Rockin' Robin - Bobby Day

(Tweet. Tweet. Tweet Tweet)

[Jeff Yablon]

Right on, David.

So, follow me, brother. Tell everyone you know to do it too: http://twitter.com/virtualvip.
I'm in the low-ish.900s. Sure will be interesting to see if you bring me over that magic threshhold.

Great piece, BTW . . .

Thanks,

Jeff Yablon
President & CEO
Answer Guy and Virtual VIP Computer Support, Business Change Coaching and Virtual Assistant Services

[DKlein]

Who else would remember this bit of trivia, with the possible exception some of your most rabid followers? It is indeed I, the other David, from way back. From carpool. From the Michael Penn show. It’s a pleasure to see you again. As for According to David and David, it had its moments, no denying it. (Who could forget your scintillating deconstruction of “Beach Baby” by First Class?) But all in all, I’d say it’s been onward and upward from there. Harbor no illusions, David. You’ve upped your game considerably since '74.

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

Ladies and gentleman, the power of Huffington Post has just reunited me with my first and only writing partner with whom I was the middle school, rock & roll version of Woodward and Bernstein, except both of us were the Jewish one.

[DKlein]

A short set from no. 1,248:
“I Will Follow” – U2
"I Will Follow Him" -- The Shirelles
“Follow You Follow Me” – Genesis
“Believe What You’re Saying”--Sugar
“Listen to What the Man Said” – Wings
“Tell the Truth” Derek & the Dominos
“Tell it Like it Is” Aaron Neville
PS. "Wild About Music" is better than "According to David and David," don't you think?

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

Is this the other David? Could it be?
Wild About Music was my prep school column, but it was never the same after David & David in middle school?

[dunedin]

Wasn't Born To Follow - The Byrds

Oh wait. It's not a playlist blog. That would have been a twofer.

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

Very funny -- and a VERY great song.

[Feanor]

I'd rather go and journey where the diamond crest is flowing and run across the valley beneath the sacred mountain and wander through the forest where the trees have leaves of prisms and break the light in colors that no one knows the names of

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

Then you go girl -- or boy

[joelaf]

David,
I follow you on Huffpost, where the number of characters, in your post, and as posters, is not limited. Tweeting is like a punchline followed by an exit. I like the buildup, and the backstory. I have the shortest attention span of anyone I know, unless it's about nuts and bolts or tearing something up. Tweeting about music is like listeneing to a new song, right up to the first timing slash.

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks for following me in any way you see fit. I understand your point. I think of it more like Jewish haiku, at least when I do it.

[joelaf]

Isn't Jewish Haiku related to southern tofu..................eggplant? Post and tweet away, we'l follow.

[iblogleft]

I look at it another way, as in, who deserves to be allowed to follow? :-) How long can you keep zero followers? hehe

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

I see your point, especially if you follow me.

[kells1001]

I agree that tweeting has its advantages over blogging. For one thing these people have signed up to hear you say something and with one important restriction--don't say to much or to often. Blogging seems more about getting my ever important opinion out there to be read even if no one ever really responds. Unfortunately many Bloggers and Posters find that the more messages posted the better. This is great if I really like what they are saying, but more often than not it becomes a weapon to demonize the ability of others to actually be heard. There is this new euphoria of the perfectly run message board which tweeters have subscribed to because they can always choose to quitely click "unfollow".

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

I find both fantastic forums for free expression, or alternatively great ways to waste not just my time, but the time of others.

[TotallyAmazed]

I gotta ask, DW - how many of those 'followers' are people who have somehow found you and assume you'd like to be followed by people who wear no clothes and do all sorts of things in their 'profile' photo. I'm never quite prepared to open a profile of some new 'follower' wannabee and learn more about them in one glance than I know about my neighbor who's lived next to me for 35 years.

Can't tell you how many times I open a 'So & So is now following you on Twitter' email, to find some young woman (oddly enough, not too many young guys do this) staring at me wearing nothing but a exotic smile and doing all sorts of things with her hands. No, no I'm no prude, I just happen to prefer a professional where porn's concerned, and I'd kind of like it to be something my spouse might find interesting. You know what I mean? We like what we like, and goofy looking Bambi just doesn't do it for one of us.

There really is no shortage of twits that want to follow me on Twitter. I would more often than not let them follow me if they'd keep their knickers on and their hands out of them. /TotallyAmazed

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

I think that I lost all of those pornbots -- either because Twitter removed them or because I never followed or responded or clicked on them.

Feel free to check my followers, but I think the vast majority are actual thinking and consenting adults, and the occassional stray celebrity.

[medusa11]

Whoa!! Pretty soon you'll catch up with Yoko Ono ! (463,120)

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

She's got a head start, but I am less that 500,000 behind. I better unfollow her, so I catch up quicker.

[David Wild - Huffpost Blogger]

Since I blogged I think I three or four followers up, so I'm gaining on her, maybe.

[joelaf]

Perhaps if you Fishburbled you'd pickup a few more