"You Win Again": My Very Gracious Playlist To Congratulate Johnny Depp For Beating Me As Sexiest Man Alive

I know Johnny Depp a little. He is a lovely guy. We met many years ago when I went to do a Rolling Stone cover story on Winona Ryder, and I lost an interview tape in the beanbag chair of the house they were living in then. Johnny generously offered to help me search everywhere until we found the missing cassette. Years later, I did another Rolling Stone cover story with Johnny and Keith Richards for the Pirates movie. And just a few weeks ago, I ran into Johnny again when he very sweetly found the time to present his movie dad Keith with the Rock Icon award at the 2009 Scream Awards which I was working on.

Because we share so much history together, I am hereby announcing that I have decided not to protest Johnny's outrageous victory over me in this year's list of the Sexiest Men Alive. In fact, you may be shocked to know that I am nowhere on this list. Indeed, I just got a letter from People formally asking me not to even read the issue. To each his or her own -- though I'm pretty sure my wife voted for Johnny too.

So instead of pleading my case, let me simply say, "Damn, you Mr. Scissorhands and congratulations, sir. Enjoy your damn playlist, you sexy beast."

YOU WIN AGAIN - Hank Williams
CHASING PIRATES - Norah Jones
SO YOU WIN AGAIN - Hot Chocolate
YOU SEXY THING - Hot Chocolate
SEXY BITCH - David Guetta
JOHNNY JOHNNY - Prefab Sprout
THE WINNER TAKES ALL - Abba
YOU WIN AGAIN - Keith Richards
WIN SOME LOSE SOME - Robbie Williams
I'M WAITING FOR THE MAN - Vanessa Paradis
YOU JUST CAN'T WIN - Them
WIN - David Bowie
WIN, LOSE OR DRAW - Allman Brothers Band
YOU WIN, I LOSE - Supertramp
YOU CAN'T WIN - Michael Jackson
YOU WIN AGAIN - Bee Gees

Now that I'm done being so incredibly gracious, what are your songs for the Sexiest Man Alive?

 

 

 

Follow David Wild on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Wildaboutmusic

Comments

[Aramingo]

07:43 AM on 11/20/2009

A bit of a reach, but:

"Keep Your Eye on the Sparrow" Sammy Davis Jr.

[David Wild]

09:35 AM on 11/20/2009

I don't understand it, but I LOVE it, even if it is an insult.

[Aramingo]

10:53 AM on 11/20/2009

An insult? Good heavens, no. It was just a reference to Depp's "Pirates" role. I'll file it under "Ready.... Aim... Miss!"

[MsCanuck]

06:55 PM on 11/19/2009

Love the Depp!

How about:

You're Beautiful - James Blunt
Don't Dream it's Over - Crowded House
Crying - Roy Orbison

[David Wild]

09:36 AM on 11/20/2009

The Crowded House is one of my all time faves.

[RobinSeattle]

05:51 PM on 11/19/2009

Hmmmm...

Pretty bland list.

Lets sex it up with a little "Beat Me Daddy (Eight to the Bar)" by the Andrews Sisters.

But like me, you really had to resign yourself to losing this battle, so a little "So it Goes" (Nick Lowe) might be in order here. Or just attribute it to a larger force, as in "That's the Way God Planned It" (Billy Preston).

[David Wild]

07:44 PM on 11/19/2009

Good stuff, I'm on a Billy Preston kick right now. What a wild life he led, good bad and ugly, but man, was he good.

Thanks

[jalowe1957]

12:36 PM on 11/19/2009

How about...

"Are You Man Enough" - Four Tops
"I'm a Man" - Bo Diddley
"I'm Your Man" - George Michael & Wham
"Beauty Is Only Skin Deep" - The Temptations
"You Get Ugly" - The Contours
"Sixty Minute Man" - The Dominoes

[David Wild]

01:14 PM on 11/19/2009

I LOVE "Are You Man Enough" ever since I bought it on a K-Tel collection as a child -- the theme from "Shaft In Africa" if memory serves.

Thanks

[XCITIZEN]

12:34 PM on 11/19/2009

Johnny Depp used to be so sexy to me - now, he's in too many roles with lots of make-up and costuming. I always liked his androgyny, but now he's becoming 'feminized' and it's much less appealing to me. That's my two cents as one of Huff Post's resident raging homos.

[joelaf]

12:20 PM on 11/19/2009

David, rest assured, you are further from the bottom of the Sexiest Man list than I am. Having said that, here's my picks.

Robert Palmer Mary and Johnny (as a straight man, I have to give RP the nod for style and class)

Ian Gomm 24 hour service ("Johhny was a gambling man")

Planet P Project why me?

Ian Dury There ain't half been some clever bast@rds

Billy (Vera) and the Beaters At this moment

Romeo Void I might like you better or Never say Never

[David Wild]

12:24 PM on 11/19/2009

It's "Johnny and Mary" right? Always liked that song

[joelaf]

01:16 PM on 11/19/2009

oops, old school manners, I put the woman's name first

[huffaddict916]

12:15 PM on 11/19/2009

might as well add grateful dead's cover of 'you win again' from europe '72 too!

[David Wild]

12:20 PM on 11/19/2009

Consider it done, Deadhead!

[stevefromkelso]

07:33 PM on 11/19/2009

Since we're on that bus ..John Kay covered it on "Forgotten songs and unsung heros"

[CyndiC]

12:05 PM on 11/19/2009

Here You Come Again - Dolly Parton

(I know this is an 'oldie' but I think it's perfect!)

Here you come again
Just when I've begun to get myself together
You waltz right in the door
Just like you've done before
And wrap my heart 'round your little finger

Here you come again
Just when I'm about to make it work without you
You look into my eyes
And lie those pretty lies
And pretty soon I'm wonderin' how I came to doubt you

All you got to do is smile that smile
And there go all my defenses
Just leave it up to you and in a little while
You're messin' up my mind and fillin' up my senses

Here you come again
Lookin' better than a body has a right to
And shakin' me up so that all I really know
Is here you come again
And here I go

All you have to do is smile that smile
And there go all my defenses
Just leave it up to you and in a little while
You're messin' up my mind and fillin' up my senses

Here you come again
Lookin' better than a body has a right to
And shakin' me up so
That all I really know
Is here you come again
And here I go
Here I go
And here I go
And here I go
Here you come again
Here I go
Here I go
And here I go
Here I go

[David Wild]

12:10 PM on 11/19/2009

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU -- AND THAT SONG

[keene]

11:58 AM on 11/19/2009

Aww, David, no worries. You WIN for the Sexiest Last Name!

The Way You Look Tonight- Frank Sinatra

Sexy Back- Justin Timberlake

I Want You- Marvin Gaye

I Wanna Sex You Up-Color Me Badd

Rico Suave-Gerardo

Don't Say Nothin' Bad About My Baby-The Cookies

He's So Fine- The Chiffons

[David Wild]

12:10 PM on 11/19/2009

I like your range. And yes, Dad, thanks for the name

[BobbyV123]

10:24 AM on 11/19/2009

Just a few to add...

Johnny Come Home - Fine Young Cannibals
Johnny Are You Queer? - Josie Cotton
Sexy Mother F'er - Prince
Real Wild One - Iggy Pop

[David Wild]

10:33 AM on 11/19/2009

I love them all. except the Josie Cotten, which does not apply really.

[BobbyV123]

11:38 AM on 11/19/2009

The Josie one was a lil' joke, but perhaps it could be a question from a gay male fan of his...

[waynedale]

10:13 AM on 11/19/2009

Highest Ground Stevie Wonder

Here's to not giving up on your dream

"gonna keep on trying til I reach the highest ground"

[David Wild]

10:42 AM on 11/19/2009

Actually, this is not my dream. My dream is to be invited over to enjoy a celebratory lunch with Johnny and Vanessa in Paris. . . all expenses paid. I do have a mirror, after all.

[Nitehawk]

08:43 AM on 11/19/2009

Sympathy for the Devil The Stones (think of the first verse)

[David Wild]

09:30 AM on 11/19/2009

Am I the Devil?

[Nitehawk]

09:55 AM on 11/19/2009

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of soul and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

Describes Depp pretty well lol

[DKlein]

08:21 AM on 11/19/2009

David, I believe I once sat on that very beanbag chair! Johnny was a man among men, and gracious to a fault.
“The World Was a Mess But His Hair Was Perfect”: The Rakes
“Handsome Devil”: The Smiths
“Brown Eyed Handsome Man”: Chuck Berry
“He’s So Fine”: The Chiffons
“Johnny Guitar”: Peggy Lee
“Dripping With Looks”: Game Theory
“The Archetypal Man”: Judee Sill
“Flawless Was the Man”: Impossible Arms
“Magic Man”: Heart
“Johnny Angel”: Shelley Fabares
“U Got the Look”: Prince

[David Wild]

09:31 AM on 11/19/2009

That's right David, you would remember that chair too.
And even as a straight guy, he is SO FINE.

[David Wild]

10:17 AM on 11/19/2009

David here, who also goes way back with Johnny, can confirm that he is not the Devil. Though beating both of us for the Sexiest title is just rude.

[dunedin]

08:12 AM on 11/19/2009

You're The Best Thing - The Style Council
Man Of Great Promise - The Style Council
I'm The Face - The High Numbers
You're The One - Kate Bush
Man Of The World - Fleetwood Mac
Special - Garbage
Talk Of The Town - Pretenders
A Well Respected Man - The Kinks
Dandy - The Kinks
Success Story - The Who

and for the rest of us:

You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby - The Smiths

[David Wild]

09:32 AM on 11/19/2009

I'm the Face, baby, is that clear? What a cool song and addition to this list.
Thanks!

[David Wild]

10:17 AM on 11/19/2009

Love "Dandy"

[balloonloon]

08:04 AM on 11/19/2009

Hit The Road Jack (John?)-- Ray Charles

[David Wild]

09:32 AM on 11/19/2009

Very good, though he can stick around being great and all.