THE BLOG
08/03/2010 01:10 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

9 Ways to Uncover Whether Your Partner Is Cheating on You

It's a cold hard fact. Sometimes when you're in a relationship, one of you may stray. Now if you're the person who is into the relationship and who is working really hard on the relationship, but you just feel like your partner isn't really there, then that partner of yours may be cheating.

So besides asking them directly, how do you recognize a cheater and how do you know for sure that your partner is cheating? Here are eight telltale signs that you may be with a cheater.

1. Mr. Or Ms. New Clothes: Your partner all of a sudden starts dressing better -- a lot better. They look better when they go to work and when they go out with their friends. They seem to have a bunch of new clothes, but yet when they go out to dinner with you they are wearing the same old clothes.

2. The Minimizer: Whenever they're on the computer and you come by or sit down next to them, they minimize all the windows on their computer screen. This means that they either don't want you to know that they're online dating or they don't want you to see that they are IM'ing or talking with someone else.

3. The History Deleter: If you suspect that your partner is cheating, go and take a look at their browsing history on their computer. All browsers have this feature. If you look and your partner has no browsing history, it means they have gone in and deleted it which tells you they don't want you to know where they've been online.

4. The Imaginary Friend: Your partner all of a sudden seems to be spending a lot of time with a new friend. It might be someone from work or from the gym, or someone with whom they've had coffee before. This new friend will suddenly seem to occupy a lot of your partner's time. That "new friend" is actually their cover. It is the story they are using to be able to go out and meet someone else.

5. Burning The Midnight Oil: Does your partner seem suddenly really recommitted to their job, and they are working a lot of late nights? This is a definite red flag for cheating. A month ago they hated their job, but not all of a sudden they are at the office until 11:00 p.m. every night working on a secret project? Time to be suspicious here.

6. Mr. Or Ms. Agreeable: Do you notice that things which used to really bother your partner -- and which always started arguments between you -- all of a sudden are no longer big deals to them? Does your partner seem unusually agreeable all of a sudden? When you start to have a fight, your partner immediately says, "You're 100 percent right. I'm sorry." This can mean only two things -- either they've suddenly done a ton of work on themselves, or something is up.

7. Cell Lock Down: You pick up your partner's cell phone, and for the first time ever there is a password lock on it so that you can't access it. Not only that, they never leave their cell phone. They take it everywhere they go, even when they're in the house. They put the cell phone in their pocket when they get up to go to the bathroom at a restaurant. The reason they won't leave the cell phone behind is because they likely have secret texts or voicemail messages on there about which they do not want you to know.

8. Computer Lock Down: You should be able to use your partner's computer to check movie times or pull up a web page without any problem. If all of a sudden their computer is password protected, you have reason to be suspicious. They may tell you that they did that because they don't want the cleaning lady or the kids to have access to it, but in reality they just don't want you to know where they've been online.

9. Major Appearance Change: Has your partner all of a sudden become a fitness fanatic who goes to the gym five days a week? Do they have a new hairstyle? Are they really into their appearance, but don't care what you think of their new look? This is a big red flag for cheating.

All these things are cheating red flags, and are telltale signs that your partner may be cheating. Do more than three of the things on this list apply to your partner? Well then you need to become a private detective and find out whether your partner is up to something.