When you're divorced, some people always look at you with an expression on their face like, 'Oh God, I'm so sorry.' Like marriage is such utopia. Or being married is the end-all, end-all for everybody and it's the greatest thing since drinking water was invented.
It's amazing how many people look at you like that. When really that look of surprise should be "Wow, you've got that unmarried glister about you. Wow, you look like somebody who's really enjoying themselves. You look like you have no stress or strain in your life. You look like you have the opportunity to go out there and just meet anybody and have fun. There's a look of freedom on your face. You can eat what you want, when you want. You can wake up when you want. You don't have to run errands for somebody else."
"You have that beautiful unmarried glister about you. You look like you just got back from a great romantic vacation for one, to a place that you wanted to go to. That you didn't have to compromise."
Being unmarried is great. I tell people all the time that when I wasn't married I was happily unmarried. And I really was. It's an enjoyable part of your life to be happily unmarried.
Marriage is not the end all for everybody. Marriage is not the solution to the worlds problems. Yes, I know, some of you will be throwing statistics out there, all day. This survey says people who live longer being married. Studies said people are happier being married. But for every statistic that's thrown my direction, I'll show you people in real-life situations who are happily unmarried and not in lab-rat studies.
It's a matter of choice. It's a choice to decide how you want to be happy.
So the next time someone asks you if you're divorced -- or if you find out someone who is divorced -- you can both own it.
"As a matter of fact I am divorced."
"Wow, you look like you're doing great!"
"Yeah, I'm happily unmarried, doing what I wanted to do and having a blast. And one day, maybe I'll get married again, maybe I won't. But I'm going to continue to enjoy my life and embrace it."
I'm not anti-marriage, I'm anti-unhappiness. I don't believe you stay married for the sake of being married, or for the sake of the children, or for the sake of religious beliefs. I believe in happiness, and happiness starts within. A happy person in their home life will be a much happier person in their work life and will be a much happier person to be around.
Ever go out with a friend who's got a horrible marriage? They're not happy at all. You spend the entire night coaching them and listening to their unhappiness. It's not fun to be around somebody who's not happy. So whether you're recently divorced and you're now happily unmarried, or you're thinking about getting a divorce, tell people your situation and show them that glister.