There is one thing people fear the most when they first meet somebody: eye contact.
As kids, we were taught this by our parents, by our social and peer structures. And, for one reason or another, we were taught that eye contact is something we need to avoid.
Think about it. Have you ever talked to a baby? They stare directly into your eyes.
Have you ever talked to a little kid? They stare directly into your eyes.
Yet, when you talk to an adult, their eyes wander all over the place. It's almost like they have a fear of being seen or exposed.
Eye contact is something that we fear because we've been taught not to look into someone's eyes. It's a learned trait. And, like most of the stuff that I teach and believe in, it traces back to the roots of how we got fucked up as kids.
You see, we're pure when we come out of our mom's vagina (I had to say it like that because that's the only way to put it). As we slid through the birth canal and into the nurse's waiting arms, we were pure, pure with an open heart, pure in being uncensored. Full of love. Full of energy. Eyes wide open.
As we get older, we get beaten up by society. We get teased when we're younger. We make eye contact with a girl and she rejects us. We make eye contact with a bully, with somebody in school and they punch us.
These are the life lessons that have ruined the pureness of who we are. But you know what I say? Fuck those life lessons. Fuck them all.
Because they're all a bunch of bullshit. If you want to connect with somebody, you want to connect to their soul. You want to connect to their being. You want to see who they really are. And if you want to do that, then you need to look inside their eyes because the eyes are the windows to the soul.
You want to see if somebody is true or if somebody is authentic? Look in their eyes. You can read them right away. You can look and see who they are. If somebody looks down or up or around you will see that they're nervous or intimidated.
Ask any good poker player and they will tell you: they read eyes nonstop. You want to know if Donald Trump is telling the truth? Take a look at his eyes. Look at everything. Don't be afraid to look at somebody's eyes because that's how we were designed and built. We're not designed to look away from each other. We were designed to stare at one another, to admire each other's beauty, admire each other's souls, admire each other's mind, admire everything.
So, I strongly suggest you start practicing better eye contact. Be more aware of how your eyes wander when you are having a conversation. If you realize your eyes are wandering, try to stay focused in and allow somebody to see you, because eye contact builds trust as well.
When someone can't look you directly in the eye, I don't trust them. Because it means that they're searching or looking or seeking an answer or they're not sure where they're at in life.
Eye contact is everything. Practice it.