A word of advice: 'tis the season to love your ex.
How did that make you feel when I said that? Let's explain things in a better way.
All of us are divorced. Most of us have children. And who are holidays about, anyway? It's about the kids.
Whether your child still believes in Santa Claus or your child just really enjoys having the family together because they are coming home from college -- whatever age your kid is -- Christmas is still magical.
The other day I was on Netflix and I realized they don't have "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". Netflix on Demand is kind of a waste of money and a waste of time. So I went over to Amazon and ordered Santa Claus is Coming to Town. And I played it for my two-year-old daughter for the very, very first time.
She was so happy. And after she saw Santa, she looked at me and said, "Daddy, I want a dollhouse for Christmas."
"What else do you want Santa to bring you?"
"I want Santa to bring me lots of things. I can't wait to go see Santa Claus."
It reminded me how beautiful Christmas really is. The magic of Christmas is the belief in the season.
Now, I know that a lot of you celebrate Christmas for the religious aspects, but a lot of us don't. For a lot of us, Christmas is just magic. It's going back to childhood and remembering what it's like to feel Santa for the very, very first time, and to realize that Santa is going to buy you all of these great things.
It's the anticipation. It's the build up. And feuding exes shouldn't ruin it.
This Christmas, make it about the kids. Whatever bone you have to pick with your ex, whether your divorce is final, whether your divorce is still in process, whether you're still battling over money or whatever it might be, put it aside for now and make Christmas about your children.
Kids anticipate this time of year, especially the little ones who still believe in Santa. The older ones are looking forward to Christmas holiday, seeing their aunts, their uncles, and grandparents.
They don't want to hear mom and dad fighting over the Christmas ham again. They don't want to see you miserable and unhappy. It's time to put your children first.
Forgive your ex. The best thing to do this holiday is to put the divorce away for a bit. Put it aside and just co-parent together during this holiday time. It's going to make the kids happy.
I was a child of divorce and I remember my first Christmas without my parents together. I remember the whole "which parent can buy the better present and win you over" game they played. It didn't make me feel good, and I was 19.
So get on the same page with your ex and figure out how you can still keep Christmas magical for your kids, regardless of whether the magic is gone between the two of you.