We're about two weeks into the New Year. That's exciting. I hope you are all are having fun and enjoying it.
Let's talk about how this year is going to be different. For those of you that are divorced, or recently divorced, I'm going to give you three dating don'ts to ensure that you have a different dating life this year -- a better dating life.
1. When you go out on a date, don't turn into the "poor me."
Please don't bad-mouth your ex. Don't talk about how bad it is being single or about how frustrated you are in your life right now. Because the only people you're going to attract when you do that is other people that are in that victim mindset. Misery loves company!
Have a great attitude about your life. Wake up every single day and realize that you're single and it's awesome. You have an opportunity to finally do this over again and get it right. That's what being single is all about. It's the power of choice. You have the power to do this all over again, the power to meet a great person. Dating is not an opportunity to vent about your past and get angry.
2. Don't just rely on one source to date.
Here's the deal: so many people rely on one source to date. They don't know how to be their own personal matchmaker. A lot of people would just put themselves on an online dating site, and that's it. That is only about 10% of the pie.
You need to meet people out and about. You need to smile. You need to be friendly. You need to flirt when you're out and about. You need to go to parties. You need to ask your friends if they know anybody that they can set you up with.
You need to become your own personal matchmaker.
Don't keep fantasizing that the doorbell is going to ring and it's going to be the person that you've always been looking for, and they're going to say to you through the peephole, "Hey let me in, I'm the love of your life. I've got great take-out food and a bottle of wine. My GPS broke, otherwise I would have been here in 2009."
Not. Gonna. Happen.
3. Don't spend any time with unsupportive people.
It's very, very important that you go out with friends that are supportive of your quest. If you're looking to meet people, make sure you have friends that equally are looking to meet people. Don't go out with that Debbie Downer friend of yours with the poo-poo attitude that always wants to leave early or be somewhere else. (Don't even hang out with them!)
You need a supportive group of friends. When you're out and about, you want to have a group of people that are on the same quest as you to meet the opposite sex, to find healthy people who enjoy themselves. It will make each nightly adventure more fun and less of a big, stressful ordeal.
These are three quick tips that you can use to have a wonderful divorced 2012 and enjoy being single.