Have you tried online dating?
I'm sure you have. It's 2014. It's the modern way to date. And I'm sure you've been very frustrated by it. I'm sure there have been many men that you're not attracted to that email you. I'm sure you've gone out on some dates and met men were not as tall or as fit as they said they were or didn't have the head of hair that they conveyed in their picture.
Unfortunately, when it comes to online dating, most people put up the super hero version of themselves in their profiles. They put up the version of themselves they want to be instead of who they really are. They feel the need to boast and talk about how amazing they might be. But in reality, we all have flaws. We're all just trying to meet each other.
I've seen so many women put up the "Hey Idiot," profile, a list of what they've been through and what they won't tolerate.
They literally write something like this:
I'm an independent, motivated person with a great love for life. I had bad relationships. We've all had them, or there would be no need for Match.com. My pictures are accurate, recent depictions of me. I'm cautious, however. I'm beginning to think I'm looking for the impossible. So let me just let you know right off the bat...
1. You must love dogs. You know, I've got two great dogs. After all, they're loyal and loving no matter what kind of day they've had, and they're happy to see me unlike most men.
2. Video gamers: No offense to you guys, but I'm interested in the game of living life. I'm not interested in trying to understand grown men consumed by virtual reality.
3. Conversation is the key. I'm looking for someone I can talk to about anything, religion to politics to the best cereal on the market. We certainly don't have to agree.
The tone is angry. So what do you think she keeps getting in response? Angry men. Her writing conveys frustration, so she keeps getting frustrating people.
What you put on your profile is going to attract the exact type of person you're going to meet.
If you're angry and frustrated when writing your Internet profile, you're going to attract angry and frustrated men. If you lie about your age or lie or put up pictures of yourself 10 years younger, you're going to get people who do the same exact thing back at you.
If you write lists, and your lists have words that are anger-filled or disappointment-filled, you're not going to get a positive, healthy person, even though you might have written in one of your paragraphs, somewhere hidden amongst all requirements, "must be a positive person."
People read what you write, and whatever you write is going to bring back exactly what it matches. So, when it comes down to online dating and profiles, write something positive, strong and amazing.
We've all been hurt, we've all been disappointed, we've all been through relationships that haven't worked. We've all been cheated on, we've all been lied to. We've been manipulated, we've been all these things. We're human.
When we trust somebody, someone tends to get hurt. That's what life is all about. But hopefully, we all grow and remain open.
I know dating can be tough at times, but the only way to succeed in dating is to remain 100% open. You need volumes of men coming into your life, so you're able to find the good one.
So, your online profile should depict the person who you really are, the positive, loving side of you -- not the negative side that so many of us unwittingly expose. Online dating can be very fun, as long as you take the positive step so you can eliminate the negative ones that come into your life.
For more advice on how to connect with your perfect man check out David's blog!